Regretting Nothing
by kiriel
Summary: This is the entire series formatted to meet the new guidelines that the site has set up. Relena walks out on her own life. What do the Gundam Pilots and Zechs do? Will they take what she's earned or will she fight back? What about Heero? The Last Pa
1. Regretting Nothing - Part 1

Regretting Nothing   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Gundam Wing. I am just borrowing. There will be some upcoming new characters.  
  
Pre-Author's Note: This is the same fic for those of you who have read it before. Grr. It's the new system's fault! Urgh! @!$%#$@  
  
Author's note: To better understand the nightmares that haunt Relena at night go see my other story Nightmares. This is a different spin on Relena. Takes place sometime after Endless Waltz. So, everyone's pretty much seventeen.   
  
'I've had enough,' thought Relena. As she glanced outside the window of her hotel room in Brussels. She spotted a group of teens about her age going off together. 'I wonder what they do? Do they have fun? I feeling like am seventeen going on thirty. I am doing the job of a middle age person. My father was more than ten years older when he started this job. Why am doing a job that is slowly killing me through boredom? There isn't even a war going on. I feel like am just watching the world pass me by. Oh…there's new mail. Well, at least that's something new. I might as well open it."  
  
Relena took out her letter opener and opened that mail that was forwarded to her from the Paris offices. These letters were different from any of the others. They would open the door to something Relena never thought was possible.  
  
"Dear Ms. Darlian,  
  
Congratulations, on being in the top 5% percentile in this standardized test…"  
  
All the letters said how well she did on the tests to go to college. Relena was taken back in her chair. 'I never thought that I was that smart. Maybe, it's a fluke. No, there are too many tests results here. Some were taken with only an assigned number,' mused Relena. "Wow," she said to no in particular in the room. Relena decides to open the last envelope. It's a letter from the only mother that Relena has ever known: Mrs. Darlian. Relena read the letter and by the end was close to tears. Her mama had breast and ovary cancer. Mrs. Darlian told Relena in the letter to continue on with the business that Relena had to do. 'They are nothing, but a bunch of meetings. I guess Mom knows that it's my job. She knew from Dad's work. I hate this I wish there was someone to talk to,' thought Relena.  
  
She stood up again and walked to a window. There was no to talk to since the end of the last war, last Christmas. Everyone she had know had left. Noin left to join her brother. Just like that…without even giving a reason or saying goodbye. Sally Po was the one who told her. Relena felt betrayed. She always thought that Noin was her friend. But, now the respect that Relena had is now gone. 'She's just a lovesick lackey for my brother. I just my brother's little sister who needs protection. I am dying here from the suffocation of having so many guards and security around,' thought Relena bitterly. The truth was she really didn't have any friends. The Gundam pilots weren't really friends. Duo was the jokester that made her laugh, but he had other things to do. Quarte was whom she would meet with regularly to conduct business. Wufei showed up during public events because he was dispatched by the Preventer Offices to protect her. Trowa was the quiet person who was good listener. But, the point was they were never there for her when she needed them the most. This was not when her life was in danger. It was when she felt as if she had wasted her life.   
  
Heero. She thought of him often. She thought of him most of all. He left her behind after the war. Some might say she loved him. Relena convinced herself that it was merely fascination that held her interest in him for so long. Heero could just leave without caring. Just like Millardo. Heero was very much like her brother. The two men she cared the most about were also the coldest beings on Earth and on the Colonies. Both couldn't stay for her. Things were different now. Relena was tired of being the one left behind and abandoned. But, of course there's nothing she can do about it. Or can she. She was sick of being the pillar of peace around here. She was just plain tired of everything. Relena has to find a way to pass the time. No one likes to be left behind or abandoned. Now Relena had to think about her mother. She decides to keep her mother's illness a secret. It wasn't anybody's business. Relena decided to cancel her upcoming appointments so that she can see her mother. 'Why do I always lose the ones I love? Why do I always get left behind? I would like to just leave, and let them see how it truly feels like. That's what I'll do. I'll just leave. But, I have to be careful. I'll let Heero be my guide. That's how I'll do it.' She thought.  
  
***  
It's been three long months. Relena kept seeing her mother before she died. Something in Relena had broken. She also spent the last three months planning her escape from this prison. Relena learned how to use the computer system inside and out in the Paris offices. Relena even learned how to hack into the system. She had plans to infect the system with a virus to scramble the system. Furthermore, she had plans for the virus to systematically search and destroy any information on her. All the work she had plan to do to the systems, seemed like something Heero would do. As a way of showing that she was starting over. Relena had place money in a Swiss bank account for later. She had plans to leave with nothing. There were already forged documents: a new birth certificate (making her a year older), her grades with a different name placed on them, a new passport, in sort very thing one needed for a new identity. A whole new life. Relena was proud of the fact that she had forged the documents all by herself. Relena was proud that she did all the work herself. It sort of became a hobby to pass the time. Which was something she really want to do. It kept her sane. She had already chosen the college where she would enroll. It was a university where almost all the students were at a genius level. Relena was a genius it was that she never had a chance to figure it out for herself.   
  
Relena was indecisive when it came to actually living. There were so many times over the last three months where Relena just thought she should just accept her fate and be happy that things weren't any worse. Relena's mother's death however did something else. Relena couldn't even be with her when she died. This give Relena no end of guilty. The work load just wouldn't let up. Her mother died so sudden after one of the many radically treatments that her mother underwent. Since, Relena told no one about her troubles, everyone assumed that she could stand to do more work. That was another problem Relena had: everyone assumed too much about her character.  
  
'How could they assume they know me? When I don't even know myself. I never had a chance to explore who I was. My mother also said that I should find myself. Now is my time to do so. I have to before I lose what little control I have. Besides, the true test of peace is to see if it can stand without someone always reminding people to stand up for it. I am person, not a symbol,' thought Relena finalizing her decision to leave once and for all.   
  
Relena was listening to the voice mail message from the her mother's doctor stating how and when her mother died. She had played it over and over again. Relena felt numb and dead inside. Her heart was broken. Her mother had died without Relena there to at least hold her hand. This was too much for Relena. She deleted the message from her computer. Relena found the old letter that her mother had sent her three months ago. Relena put it through the shredder. She shredded the letter twice and place the pieces in her coat pocket to get rid of the letter later. After all that, Relena took out a CD and loaded it into her computer. After the program was set to run, she took out the disk. Relena put on her coat and pushed in her chair. She looked at the computer monitor. With her right index finger, she pressed the enter key. The virus was now entered into the network. Relena went to the door of her office, and turned off the lights, and locked the door like usually. She made it a point to be the last person to leave the offices that night. It wasn't that late, but it was a Friday night. The offices were already empty at seven. It was now 7:30. She had sent the car that was waiting at six to pick her up home earlier. She had told Pegan that she would call when she needed to be picked up. They would be waiting for her. So, she had to move quickly.  
  
Relena simply walked out of the office. She never even turned back.  
  
Author's Note: Tell me what you really think. I always thought that Relena was kind of lonely that's why she followed Heero like she did in the anime. The position of maintaining peace for Earth and the Colonies is hard work for someone so young. It's sort of like the pillar in Magic Knight Rayearth. Not one person can do it on his or her own. You can see my website for more anime fun: HTTP://WWW.DREAMWATER.ORG/ANIMELUNACY. Also, could someone please suggest a title for this on going piece. I have a story, but no title.   
  



	2. Regretting Nothing - Part 2

Regretting Nothing - Part 2  
  
Author's Note: I would like to thank Shila for giving me the title for this piece. Even though she hasn't read all of it (because it hasn't all been posted) she has already hit on the major theme of this story. I am continuing for the five actually people who review it (that was at last count) and even for the people who don't review it. But, it's special for you five, you know who you are. Still continuing my story. This takes place the day after Relena walked out on her own life. There's a new character at the end.  
  
Quatre had a meeting with Relena this morning, and he was already running late. Even if it was a Saturday. It seemed like Relena couldn't even get the weekend off these days. Her offices had no choice, but to schedule the meeting on a Saturday. Quatre didn't mind because he enjoyed having breakfast with Relena. However, Quatre received a call from the Preventers office this morning from Lady Une saying that there was an urgent matter that required his attention. He had an office at the Preventers. Just like all the other Gundam pilots, but everyone was able to do their own thing. Only Wufei worked regularly at the offices. Trowa was with the circus with his sister, Catherine. Quatre had to take care of his family business, which had expanded quite bit in such a short time. Duo had his salvage company to worry about.   
  
Heero…well, he was no where to be found. He still had the right to an office, so it was open for him, and it even had his name on the door. The office was cleaned regularly, too. Even if Heero was never there. Either way, Quatre was in a hurry. 'What could be so important?' he thought as he practically ran into the building trying to get to the conference room. He could hear Duo complaining about having to come in on an early Saturday morning for Preventer business.   
  
Quatre was surprise to find Wufei, Duo, and Trowa waiting for him. Lady Une looked as serious as ever. Quatre felt slightly embarrassed for coming to the meeting last. "I am sorry to keep you all waiting. I had to call Relena's offices and tell them that I was going to be late. I couldn't get through," Quarte said.  
  
"There's a reason why you couldn't get through Quatre. It's because the of the fact that the office is in a panic this morning. Relena's missing," said Lady Une.  
  
There was a collective gasp in the room. Lady Une had waited until all of the Gundam pilots, except for Heero, to arrive so that she wouldn't have to repeat herself.   
  
"What do you mean missing? I just saw her at that state dinner last week," said Duo.  
  
"What if she was kidnapped? Or worse…" said a very concerned Quatre.  
  
"Don't think that way. We just have to find her," said Wufei in an attempt to comfort Quatre.   
  
"That means that we'll have to go to her offices in Paris to look for clues," this came from Trowa, who appeared to be the calmest of the four.  
  
"We should call in Heero," said Duo in a quiet voice, "He has a way of finding Relena in situations like these."  
  
"We don't even know where Heero is. We can't reach him. None of us have heard from him in months. Besides, we should focus on looking for Relena. We can't be searching for two people at once," said Trowa.  
  
"He's right. It would be a waste of time to look for Heero. Heero will come when he feels like it. The way he always does. We can't leave Relena out there to defend herself. She is just a woman after all, " said Wufei. He ignored the look that Lady Une gave him.   
  
"Yes. Time is of the essence here. We can't let too much time flow by. When did someone notice that she was missing, Lady Une?" asked Quatre.  
  
"Pegan. He called us this morning. Apparently, Relena never called for a ride back home last night. He came by earlier, but she said that she had some more work to do. But, she never called back. There's also something else. The entire computer network system is fried. Apparently, a very powerful virus was fed into the computer system. The entire network is down. The tech guys at the offices don't know when or how the virus made it into such a secured system. They were lucky that the virus just effected the system there," said Lady Une.  
  
"Last night! Why didn't someone say anything sooner? What time exactly? How cold is the trail we're following?!" shouted Duo.  
  
"She would have to have disappeared after seven because all the manual time cards were already punched. There was no one left in the offices. Except for Relena, she was suppose to be the last one to leave," reported Lady Une.  
  
"Is the computer system being tampered with have something to do with Relena's sudden disappearance? Do you know how long it will take to unscramble the system and get it back on-line?" questioned Quarte.  
  
"What about the security system? Was it active at the time? The cameras?" asked Wufei.  
  
"We don't know for sure. It's possible that the system being infected had something do with Relena missing. The security system was ingrained with the rest of the network. We don't even know if it was active. We can't tell. Everything's all mixed up or missing. The cameras were active, but it too is scramble. It will take about six weeks for the system to be back up. I am trying to get them to work faster," said Lady Une.  
  
"Missing?" said Trowa lifting an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes. There is some data missing. Quite a bit actually. But, there's no way of telling which data is missing," answered Lady Une.  
  
"Why would data be missing? Are you sure it wasn't stole?" asked Quatre.  
  
"What is there to steal, Quatre? Relena's speech drafts?" said Wufei with a slight smirk on his face. Quatre let that one slide because it made sense. There wasn't anything really classified on the system. It wasn't stuff for national security.   
  
"Well, let's not waste anymore time here. Shall we? We need to get to the offices in Paris and investigate," said Lady Une. With that they were dismissed.   
  
***  
  
Over the next two weeks, the four Gundam pilots work to find clues as to Relena's mysterious disappearance. There is no foul play involved. It was as if she just up and left without a word. Of course, this couldn't be confirm without the security camera footage. However, it was getting pressing to locate Relena. The press was already hounding the offices during the investigation. Lucky for the Preventers, they were able to keep Relena's absence from leaking to the press. Now, however, it had become increasingly imperative for the Preventers to bring in other agencies to help find her.  
  
Quatre was done with the tech guys for the day. The tech guys were working tirelessly with Quatre to unscramble the system and to trace the virus's origins. It would be done in another week as oppose to another four weeks. He was walking towards his car to drive to his hotel to get some much deserve sleep. Quatre stopped when he spotted someone leaning against his shining BMW hybrid car (takes electricity and gas).   
He was tall. He had deep blue eyes with an ever present glint of intensity. His brown unruly hair barely covered them. He was muscular in built. He was dressed in black jeans and he had a trench coat. It was Heero.   
  
Quatre let out a gasp. "Heero?" he said in a shaky and surprised voice, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Relena's missing. What do you think?" Heero responded in the same cold voice he always uses.  
  
"How did you find out?" asked Quatre.  
  
"I always find out about things, Quatre. You should know that by now," Heero answered, "Did any of you find out more today?"  
  
"Well, nothing much. We still haven't been able to unscramble the system. In order to find out about the missing files. We have to untangle the threads so to speak. Whomever design it was a good programmer. Here's the file so far, except for today's log in," said Quatre handing over the file to Heero.  
  
Heero shook his head and waved away the file. "I know what the file already says. Besides, I would like to look into it myself," he said in almost a whisper.   
  
Quarte looked at him surprised. "Are you sure you don't need any help, Heero?" he asked even though he was really tired.  
  
"No."  
  
With one more look at Heero's back as he walked into the elevator to get to the ground level of the office, Quarte got into his car and drove off.  
  
'That was a surprise. Maybe, there is hope,' thought Quarte as he drove to his hotel.   
  
***  
  
Relena had finally arrive at her new university and new life after almost three weeks. She gazed at the campus' open lush gardens. To her it was the door way to the Garden of Eden. The way to her freedom and herself. However, there was little time to admire her surroundings for now. She can do that later. First, she had to find her dorm room and meet her new roommate. Relena had decided that she would experience life on campus as normal as possible. She was excited at her new freedom, and the new doors that were waiting to be opened for her.   
  
Her school was a school that was almost only for those at genius level. She was going to savor this new experience. She was now daring and looked forward to meeting her new roommate. Relena had to get some new stuff, but that could wait. She had to see her new room and new roommate. 'I've never had a roommate before. I wonder what's it like. Will she be nice? I hope so,' she thought as she looked for her dorm. She found it and checked in. The girl at the counter give her directions to her room. Relena looked for the number. When she found the number, she took out the key, and unlocked the door.   
  
There was a girl who was putting books on the shelf. She is petite and slim in built. The girl looks very exotic. Like a mixture of Asian and European features. Her skin is tawny. Her eyes are an amber color, and her hair was sort of a blondish brown. The girl looks up at Relena and gives her a warm smile and offers her hand. They both share a firm hand shake.  
  
"My name is Angela Hart," she said with a British accent.  
  
"Well, my name is Sidney Marquette. I guess I'm your roommate," said Relena.   



	3. Regretting Nothing - Part 3

Regretting Nothing - Part 3  
  
Author's Note: Relena has changed her identity. She is now Sidney Marquette. And the adventure has just began. I am also taking a stab at Relena's culture identity. I hope I am right. Also does any one know Relena's birthday? I haven't had much luck in locating it. There's stats on her. Maybe, that why I wrote the story. She almost has no personality   
  
Sidney Marquette couldn't help but smile back at her new roommate, Angela Hart.   
  
"You can call me Angie," Angela said with another smile.  
  
"Oh. Well, it's nice to meet you Angie," said Sidney.  
  
"Can I call you Sid for short? I think that's cute: Angie and Sid,"   
  
"I suppose so. I've never been called Sid before."  
  
"Never. You must be kidding."  
  
"No. I'm not kidding. But, Sid does make a good nickname."  
  
"It must be interesting having a unisex name like Sidney."  
  
"I don't know. I suppose so."  
  
"I mean people must confuse you for a guy. Even before they meet you. Do you find that a little disconcerting?"  
  
"No. I find it refreshing. I love the looks on people's faces when they realize the Sidney they're looking is a girl. And it puts me at an advantage. It's like having a good disguise," Sidney said with a smile on her face.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha. I suppose it is. Although it was obvious that you were going to be a girl. After all, this is the girl's dorm," Angie said with her British accent.   
  
'I like her already. I've been practicing with my new name for months now. Now, I actually get to use it. Bye, bye Relena Darlian Peacecraft. Hello Sidney Marquette,' thought Sidney.  
  
"Well, Sid, where's your stuff?" asked Angie, "I'll help you move in. It looks like you don't have your folks with you."  
  
"Uh. I have to buy everything new. I just came here with this backpack," said Sidney. It was true Sidney had a backpack, but she did have money in that Swiss bank account. Sidney dressed differently she was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans. She wore a button up shirt and a tank underneath. Her hair was up in a haphazard bun. It was cut recently from beyond her waist to just below her shoulders blades. Angie was staring at her in a strange way.  
  
"What?" asked Sidney looking slightly bewildered.  
  
"Nothing. It's just that you look familiar somehow. It's like I've seen you before," said Angie.  
  
"Ummmm. Well, maybe I have a doppelganger. Besides, everyone looks like everyone else," said Sidney. Her voice was calm. Surprisingly calm. She looked nonchalant.  
  
"By the way, what's your major?" asked Angie.  
  
"I don't know yet. I am undeclared. I haven't decided yet," admitted Sidney.  
  
"You haven't declared a major?! Wow! Most people come to this school knowing exacting what they want to major in," Angie said in very surprised voice.  
  
"Well, I guess I am not most people. What's your major?" asked Sidney.  
  
"I am in the pre-med program. It's accelerated here. Because of the level the students at. The material is pretty packed in. I can become a doctor in four years. Of Course, that doesn't include the years of internship and residency I have do," informed Angie.  
  
"I don't know what I want to be yet. I am going to find out for sure before I get out of here, of course," said Sidney, "I just want to test the waters that's all."  
  
"Also, I was wondering: where are you from Sidney? Or am I now prying?" asked Angie.  
  
"I come from Europe, but no where specific. I used to do a lot of traveling," answered Sidney.  
  
"Well, I was born and raised in London. But, when I was about sixteen my parents moved here to British Columbia. My mother's half British Indian and Half Chinese. My father's half African British and regular Brit," she said with a smile.  
  
"So, that's why you look so exotic!" exclaimed Sidney. Angie blushed at this compliment. "I am just a plain, old ordinary European from around France and Germany," Sidney said.   
  
"You have to go shopping, Sid. You can't just sleep on the mattress without a cover. I'll loan you one tonight. And some sheets and an extra pillow, too," Angie said.  
  
"Thank you very much, Angela,"  
  
***  
  
Another week has passed at the offices of the Preventers. Heero is actually occupying his office for the first time. They finally had the computer system back on-line. It still took a week, even with Heero and Quatre working on the system with the tech guys. It was one heck of a computer virus. Heero had to give the programmer come credit. It was so good to keep him and Quatre stumped.  
  
"I can't believe. We finally got it. I am so tired," said Quatre, "I am going to go and get the others." Heero nodded he would have to wait to trace where the virus's origin came from to show the others. When the other Gundam pilots came in so did Lady Une.  
  
"You finished. That's good," Lady Une. Heero nodded to let Quatre do the talking for the both of them.  
  
"The virus was very complex. The program must have taken months to construct. And we just mean the core. Anyway, the virus was deployed to not only scramble the system, but to destroy specific data. The virus wiped out data that had any of the these three things on it: Relena Darlian Peacecraft," said Quatre.  
  
"What?! Who would take out Relena's information out of the computer like that. Not just take it out, but destroy it, " said Duo out loud.  
  
"Let me continue. The virus also scrambled the security network. Now we have footage of the cameras. It's just Relena walking out of the office," Quatre finished.  
  
"That's it. That's all the camera had on them. Are they authentic?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Yes. We confirmed it. Didn't we, Heero? Heero?" Quatre nudged Heero. Heero was still typing something on the computer.  
  
"What are you do, Heero?" asked Trowa.  
  
"I am still looking for which computer was infected first. The first computer usually is the one where the virus originates from," answered Heero. After a few more minutes, Heero made a small sound. Some might say a sound of surprise.   
  
"What did you find, Yuy?" asked Lady Une.  
  
"It started from Relena's computer. The computer in her office. According to the file, the virus was inserted into the CD-ROM drive of her computer. At about 7:25 pm, the day she disappeared," answered Heero in soft, cold voice. There was a collective amazed silence in the room.   
  
"Why don't you play the footage from the camera, so that the rest of us can see it?" requested Trowa.  
  
Quatre nodded and started the video.   
  
***Relena is walking up to the door. The shot is done over her head. She opens the door, and simple walks away. She doesn't even turn to look at the door to see if the automatic security lock had activated locking the door. The whole time only the back of her head and body is showing, except for the fleeting side profile of her face.*** Nothing more than that.  
  
"This is strange. It's like she just left without looking back," observed Duo.  
  
"That's exactly it," said Heero in a monotone voice.  
  
"What?" asked Wufei who was getting seriously bothered by the lack of commentary that Heero was giving.  
  
"The one responsible for Relena's disappearance is Relena herself."   
  
  



	4. Regretting Nothing - Part 4

Regretting Nothing - Part 4  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own Gundam Wing. It's not like I ever will. I do however own the original characters that are coming up.  
  
Author's Note: Relena is now known as Sidney Marquette. So, whenever she actually appears I'll call her that. You will have to read the previous part as to why Relena would pick that to be her name. This is piece is to not change Relena's character, but to develop it. The way I see it she never really gets to be herself. Heero is now in the story. However, puzzled he may be. I will try to keep Heero's character as much the same as possible because he shouldn't change in my piece at all. Also, Heero calls Millardo, Zechs, remember they don't like each other very much. Everyone remains the same, only Relena changes. Back to the story. It's been over three months now.  
  
Angela Hart liked her new roommate very much. Although, the news about the disappearance of Relena Darlian finally made the news, Angela never stopped liking Sidney Marquette. Angie has always been a loyal, honest, and highly observant person. Actually, most of the students were known for being observant. When the news of Relena's disappearance came out, Angie began to suspect Sidney as one in the same person. However, after the first conversation about Sidney looking like someone, Angie never brought it back up.   
  
Besides it didn't take long for Angie to forget her suspicions about her roommate. Sidney was a different person from the Relena Darlian she knew from the news and television. Relena was a delicate creature. Sidney was very strong for the most part. Relena had a way of attracting attention. Sidney made it a point to blend in as much as possible. Relena had a persona that would only scream confidence when she spoke, never when she was just seen. No, Sidney carried herself with the confidence of some who knew exactly who she was. Since Angela was a very observant person she could easily tell that Relena felt uncomfortable. No, Sidney was too comfortable. Sidney was also fiercely independent and unafraid to try new things. She was a really daring person, who knew how to have fun and enjoy life. She knew the exactly balance between having fun and being a responsible person. Sidney it was as if she was really living life for the first time. Sidney was also sort of a private person. While Relena, Angie observed, was a really open person. Relena also was always seen in the best tailored clothes that were designed by the top designers exclusively for her. While, Sidney bought off the rack and dressed casual. If she could go to lectures, discussions, and labs in her pajamas, she probably would.  
  
It really didn't matter. All of the students suspected at one point or another that Sidney Marquette was Relena Darlian, but that was easily disputed. Everyone soon began to think that Sidney had the good fortune to look like someone famous. So, Angie put the idea on the back of her mind. 'Besides, if she really is Relena Darlian, she must have a good reason to be someone else. I don't need to interfere. I really like her. I don't want her to be unhappy,' thought Angie.  
  
Sidney Marquette finally decided that she wanted to go into the health profession. She was now in the same major as Angela. Sidney was an amazing person, she rarely failed at anything she tried. As of the last quarter, Sidney was now the class valedictorian. However, since all the grades at the main offices were posted by student numbers there was no way of knowing who the who had second highest grades in the school. The third highest grades came from Angie. So, she and Sidney had a friendly rivalry going on. Sidney's closest competitor was only 0.5 away from her. Needlessly to say competition in the University was stiff.  
  
However, Sidney was having other problems. When she left home she was only 5'4'', for some unknown reason she grew five more inches. Now she had out grown most of her clothes. 'I think it's genetics. Millardo is over six feet tall. Why did Nature decide to give me a growth spurt after the fact that I just bought all new clothes two and half months ago? I never knew that clothes were that expensive, I guess I should have looked at the bills more instead of having them forwarded immediately to the accountant to pay off with the money in my accounts,' thought Sidney. Sidney had to go shopping this weekend when she had the chance. She had a lot of studying to do, but she really had to do something about her clothes. Her skirts were getting too short for comfort.  
  
***  
  
Heero was working in his office. The other pilots were surprise to see him stay for as long as he did. There were no more clues as to Relena's sudden disappearance. They expected him to go away after the first month. But, he didn't. He couldn't. He didn't know why she had left in the first place. Heero didn't know if she was dead or alive. In short, Heero was worried even if he never displayed it. Quatre, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei just assumed that Heero was doing his job by looking for Relena. Heero did the next best thing. He decided that he should find Zechs Marquise. No one informed Zechs for the same reason that no one informed Heero: he was no where to be found. Actually, it turned out that Zechs was working with his wife, Noin, undercover as Preventer operatives. It was a long assignment. As much as Heero didn't like Zechs, he still felt that Zechs had the right to know that his sister was missing. For now, Heero spent his time looking at the evidence of Relena's disappearance over and over again. He was viewing the last footage of her on security footage. He froze the frame just as the camera caught her side profile. Suddenly, Heero turned off his computer. Someone had slipped into his office, while barely making a sound.  
  
"Zechs Marquise," Heero said in a soft voice. The person that stood in front of him was as formidable as he ever was. He was dressed in a Preventer's uniform, unlike Heero. Heero refused to wear the uniform; he preferred his own clothes.  
  
"Yuy. I heard that my sister went missing while I was busy with my covert operation," Zechs in an equally cold voice. The two were so much alike, one would think that they would get along better. But, they were really best rivals.   
  
"You heard right. Relena's been missing for more than ten weeks now. There's nothing, the trail was cold even before it began," informed Heero.   
  
"Where's the evidence? I'd like to look over the evidence myself. Also, let me see the case file," ordered Zechs.  
  
"Let me summarizes for you. Relena just walked out for some unknown reason. I also suspect she was the one who programmed the computer virus that knocked out the entire network to buy herself sometime," Heero said.  
  
"She programmed the virus?" Zechs said in a quiet surprise.  
  
"I think that she did. I didn't think that she was that smart," Heero said with a smirk. Zechs looked at him sharply at the last part he had said. However, it was true everyone had underestimated her intelligence. Heero knew that was his mistake.   
  
"Do you know why she would do all this Heero, besides, trying to buy time to leave?" asked Zechs.  
  
"I don't know," answered Heero honestly.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?!" shouted Zechs, "You are suppose to know her better than any of the other Gundam pilots!" Zechs was now quite bothered by Heero's lack of answers. He truly expected more from him. The both of them had a grudging respect for each other. They both care about Relena a great deal. However, Zechs couldn't stand the thought of anyone with his sister. Especially Heero.   
  
"She's your sister. Don't you know why she would run away?" said Heero in a quiet voice and a slight smirk on his mouth. Both glared at each other for a moment. They would have glared at each other longer had there been no knock on the door. "Come in," commanded Zechs. This irked Heero; it's his office not Zechs'. Although, Heero would never give Zechs the satisfaction of him getting to him. So, Heero didn't show his annoyance.  
  
"Uh..um..oh, hi Zechs! Actually I have some very interesting information," said Duo.  
  
"What?" both Zechs and Heero said at the same time. 'Man, the both of them in the same room. This is serious. It's also scary,' thought Duo.  
  
"Uh…Hilde finally got around to recycling the news papers back at home and she found something interesting," Duo paused, "Hmmmm. It was on the obituaries. It's about Relena's mother, her foster mother," he corrected, "Mrs. Darlian died on the day Relena walked out."  
  
"Mrs. Darlian died. That's the reason Relena left," said Zechs out loud after a short silence.  
  
"What did she die of, Duo? Did you find out?" asked Heero.  
  
"When I found out about the obituary I asked around because I knew that you would want to know. It wasn't in the newspaper. Mrs. Darlian died of breast and ovarian cancer. She died after only being sick for three months," said Duo shaking his head sadly.  
  
"But, that makes no sense. Relena would have known right away. Mrs. Darlian would have told her. Why didn't Relena say anything? Were there any changes in her behavior? Any indication that her mother was dying?" Zechs said in a strained voice.   
  
"I couldn't say if there were changes in her behavior. I wasn't here at all before she disappeared. What about you, Duo?" Heero said.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't say Relena had any change in her behavior. In fact, she acted like normal. I could have swore this never would have happened. It's not like her at all," mused Duo, "I don't know if she was ever unhappy. Relena was just Relena. Besides, if she was she would say so."  
  
"Where could she have gone for over three months? She could be hurt or worse," said Zechs furrowing his brow.  
  
"Well, maybe you should give her more credit. If she can design a program that even Heero and Quatre couldn't unscramble immediately, then maybe she can survive on her own," said Duo. Heero looked at Duo. 'Maybe, he is right. Maybe, she will be fine on her own. But, I can't take that risk. I won't take that risk,' thought Heero.  
  
"So, Zechs, what's our next plan of action?" asked Heero to actually break the silence.  
  
"What can we do? Go to the Darlian Estate and find out if Relena ever went there," responded Zechs.  
  
***  
  
Sidney finally had the chance to hit the mall after a Saturday morning study session. She had other problems to deal with other than the fact that she had grown quickly. Sid was running out of money slowly. She was going to be tapped out. Being an independent person on your own requires money. Sidney didn't anticipate unplanned spending, which upper education usually incurred. Also, all of Sidney's clothes were dirty, and she didn't have the time do her laundry. She had no choice, but to wear a shirt that was so short it came up to her mid thigh. She was very self conscious while going through the mall. Sidney also ignored the stares that she received from leering guys. However, there was an older man who was looking at her. It was different it was a look of less leering and more like appraisal. Sidney thought that it was very strange.  
  
"Miss. Miss?" he called to get her attention. Sidney ignored him. "Please can I talk to you, Miss?" said the man.  
  
Suddenly, it had occur to Sidney that the man wasn't like all the other guys making passes at her. He was dressed in an expensive suit. He looked like a businessman.  
  
"Yes, sir? You want to talk to me?" inquired Sidney.  
  
"Yes, miss. I am from the Beaumont Fashion Agency. My name is Randy McCoy. I was wondering if you've ever considered being a model." Said Randy McCoy. Sidney gave him a suspicious look. "A model?" asked Sidney   
  
"Yes. You look very distinctive. Very beautiful. You also have the height and the body for it. Has anyone ever told you that you carry yourself very well?" said Randy McCoy.  
  
'I wonder why he hasn't asked me if I look like Relena Darlian yet. Have I changed that much? This is stupid. Me? A model? Yeah, right,' thought Sidney.  
  
"Here's my card. Call the agency. We'll set up a shoot, if you're interested. Starting models make $10,000 if they are picked up for contract," he said with a smile. After that he left.  
  
Sidney looked at the card. 'Well, I don't have a choice. I'll be broke. But, should I risk it? Hmmm. Relena was the type of person who wouldn't want to be judge based on her looks. But, Sidney needs to pay for books. Sidney's a daring person' she reassured herself.  
  
  
  
  



	5. Regretting Nothing - Part 5

Regretting Nothing - Part 5  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. I have said that many times now. I am not that creative.  
  
Author's Note: It's been awhile now since anyone has Relena. Millardo finally makes an appearance, and he's just as confused as Heero. Relena is now Sidney Marquette for those of you who haven't been keeping up. You can check out my website, but none of these parts (except for one and two) are up. They'll be posted here first. Check out our Gundam Wing cast: it's a boy band. Which one…check for yourself. Please don't throw tomatoes at us. Anyway, back to the summary: Relena just got scouted by a modeling scout last part. The Preventers just found out that Relena's foster mother, Mrs. Darlian, died the day she left. Also, there's some psychological stuff coming up. Sidney has been living comfortable in her new life, while others, namely Heero and Millardo are frantically looking for her, well…not like they'd show it anyway. New characters are introduced. Be kind, one of them isn't all that he seems. And remember, Relena has a lot of character changes (as some might call it), so bare with me. Don't quit after this it'll be worth it. Wow, this is the longest AN have ever written.  
  
Sidney was having another nightmare. She was tossing and turning. She threw the sheets off the bed. Her voice reverberated against the room's walls: "DON'T LEAVE! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!" Her screams were in a high pitched voice. Angie woke up with a jolt and came over immediately to Sidney's bed. Angie was trying to wake her up. "Sid! Wake up! You're just dreaming!" she said in a loud whisper. There came pounding from the door; people always did that after Sidney had a nightmare. Blissfully, the nightmares only came once in awhile, but the walls in the dorms were pretty thin.   
  
Now, most people would be upset, if they were jolted from a nice peaceful sleep like Angie, but she was never upset. She couldn't be: Sidney was always crying after the intense nightmares. Sidney never told her about them. Angie would always defend Sidney after one of those terrible nights. Everyone in the dorm had very little sympathy for Sidney. Maybe, it was because she was now a fashion model or currently the class valedictorian.  
  
"It's okay. You're safe. Nothing here is going to hurt you. I am here. It's all right," said Angie in a soothing voice as she placed her arms around Sidney rocking her gently. Sidney was gasping for air. Her heart was racing. Her face wet with tears. Angie always worried about her. After all, Sidney was her best friend. Angie also wished that Sidney would confided her in her more; it was as if she didn't trust her. But, Angie let it slide, whatever the nightmares were they were something Sidney struggled to keep inside her. Each morning after the nightmares, Sidney wouldn't talk for hours or even days afterwards. Part of her was embarrassed for allowing childhood traumas to get to her, and the other part wanted to keep her past forever locked away if possible.   
  
***  
  
Millardo decided that just he should go to the Darlian estate and question anyone there if they saw his sister. He was worried about her. As he drove his car to the front of the estate, a maid greeted him, "Hello Mr. Peacecraft, Mr. Thomas the executor is here to see as you requested."  
  
"Please lead the way, Miss," said Millardo. He wanted the maid to lead him, so that he could question her before they got to Mr. Thomas who was waiting the backyard. "Did you see my sister for Mrs. Darlian's funeral, Miss?" asked Millardo  
  
"No, sir," she answered. She felt uncomfortable for having no good answers for this powerful man. "Can I say something, Mr. Peacecraft?" she said in a timid voice.  
  
"Yes, please, if you have any opinion or idea of the situation, I would like to know," answered Millardo.  
  
"Well, I thought that it was strange that Miss Relena didn't make the funeral. I was here for all the visits that she and the late mistress had. I was expecting her to be here before Mrs. Darlian died. I answered the phone when she called here. She said that wanted Mr. Thomas to take care of the arrangements. She sounded distant. Miss Relena loved her mother very much. But, she made it a point never to cry after a visit. But, I overheard something I should have….," said the maid trailing off.  
  
"What?" demanded Millardo. The maid bit her lip and decided to hurry to the end, because they were almost at the backyard.  
  
"Miss Relena said that she didn't tell anyone about Mrs. Darlian dying because she said it wasn't anyone's business. That it was a family affair. The world didn't need to know about it. She said to her mother that she loved her, and promised that she would be there the day she would die. Miss Relena never made it, she tried, but her schedule wouldn't allow for it. Mrs. Darlian died in this house, she struggled for so long waiting for her. However, she couldn't hold out," the maid finished in a whisper. There were tears in her eyes. Millardo said nothing more. He thought about how hard it must have been for Relena to watch such a lively woman like Mrs. Darlian die. Millardo was suddenly struck with a thought, 'Mr. & Mrs. Darlian are the second set of parents that Relena has lost.'   
  
After the maid introduced Mr. Thomas and Millardo, they got down to business. Mr. Thomas gave Millardo the will to look at. According to the will, everything was left to Relena. There wasn't even the trust fund set up to keep her from it, so that Relena could use the money right now for whatever she desired. The entire estate was left to her as well.  
  
"Your sister gave me specific directions Mr. Peacecraft. She said that almost all the money was to be donated to charity. The money was donated anonymously, but in the memory of her both her parents. Except for the money needed for the up keep of the estate for the next ten years," informed Mr. Thomas.  
  
"She donated most of it? I guess she really doesn't need it. Did you see her at all?" said Millardo.  
  
"No. She made all the arrangements by phone. It was strange thing that she didn't even make the funeral. I thought that she loved Mrs. Darlian very much. I suppose she did, but she just couldn't take it," said Mr. Thomas shaking his head sadly.  
  
"Did she leave a forwarding address? Anyway to reach her?" asked Millardo hopeful.  
  
"No. She left nothing. Ever since that short phone I haven't heard from her. I am sorry. This must be very distressing for you. I wish I could be more helpful. But, that's all I know," said Mr. Thomas solemnly and sincerely.  
  
"That's all right you have been very informative," reassured Millardo. With that he let himself out of the house. As he got into his car he, felt like screaming his frustrations out loud. Where was she? Why would she runaway like this? This wasn't like her at all.  
  
'It's another dead end,' thought Millardo as he drove to the airport.   
  
***  
  
It was a week later after the latest nightmare incident. Sidney had a shoot scheduled in London. Sidney had a tight schedule these days. However, she could control how many jobs she could take. She was still starting out, and she really needed the money. She was signed with a beginning contract of $10,000, American Dollars.   
  
'Relena would have never become a model. She never had the confidence,' mused Sidney. Sidney had the confidence. She also came up with the idea of how to hid her identity. She never used the same look twice per fashion shoot. For the first, few ones her hair was still honey blonde, now cut layered with highlights to finally dying it a red color. She continued to change her looks frequently. It didn't take long before top designers wanted her for fashion shoot all over the world. Sidney was thought of daring and different. Most popular models never really changed their looks too much. While, Sidney made it by changing her looks often. She loved to experiment with hair dyes and different colored contact lens. She also used bronzers and different make ups. However, as an extra precaution, Sidney limited herself to just shoot, and never commercials. The biggest thing she was ever in was billboard on Times Square in New York. What hooked the agency was the resemblance she bared to Relena Darlian, but they soon forgot about her looking like Relena. That was becoming normal. Over time, people simply stopped seeing any part of Relena in her. Her nickname in the fashion industry was "The Chameleon." It was name that fit because of the constant changes she made. On top of that in her "model garb" as she called it, she could stop men cold on the street. She was enjoying her new power of turning heads without speaking. She had the best of both worlds. She could look beautiful and be admired for it; she was also highly intelligent and this was proven at the University. Despite, her busy schedule her grades never faltered. She still held the top spot. Needlessly to say, she was very proud of her self because she had built her own life with her own two hands, and on her own.  
  
Now, some might say why didn't any one notice her if she was becoming the face of the international fashion scene. This is a very simple question to answer. Heero and everyone else never bother with things like fashion magazines and fashion reports. Plus, the way she constantly changed her looks, it made it virtually impossible to trace her. Hilde, Nion, Lady Une, and Sally Po could care less about fashion, they had other more important things to do. That and there were many models who had pictures on ads and magazines without having their names on them.   
  
Sidney was also doing things that Relena would have never done for sure. She learned how to fly a plane and helicopter during a long stay in Australia, and got her pilot's license. She also had quite an ear for languages. She used to only know French, German, and English; now she knew how to speak Spanish, Mandarin, Italian (she had to she did most of her shoot either in Paris or in Milan), Russian, and Japanese. She was fluent in almost all of them. Later she would have to learn Greek and Latin for her work as a doctor (it was recommended in the University for future doctors). She was not just daring in her looks, but in her actions as well. However, she drew the line at nude shots. Sid convince half of the crew during a shoot in the Caribbean to go swimming with the sharks in the water. Of course, that was with a safety cage. She wasn't class valedictorian for nothing.   
  
However, she had plans to become a doctor. She was going to quit as soon as her contract was up. But, she got her contract updated frequently to keep her at a fair salary. Sidney thought, 'I am not going to model forever. That would be silly. It's just part of my path to becoming a doctor. Nothing more than that. But, that doesn't mean I still can't have fun,'  
  
Sidney worked out regularly to have the energy and shape for her schedule she found that she liked kick boxing very much. She took a lot of self defense classes. Just self defense class, she was still a pacifist after all. She didn't anticipate an upcoming rival.  
  
***  
  
There was a young man who was ranting and raving. Every quarter there was someone who kept beating him in the grades. He finally had a chance to hack into the computer and find out the person's name through the student numbers. Christopher Ryan didn't like anyone in his way when it came to grades. So, he didn't like this Sidney Marquette. 'Who does he think he is? Coming into my territory and taking the top spot like that? When I find him, I am going to have some words with him. I'll put him in his place,' as he thought this he ran his fingers through his reddish-brown hair. His friend, Steve Bailey caught up with him.   
  
"Hi Chris! What's wrong? You look like you're going to kill someone,' he commented blinking his brown eyes.  
  
"I finally found out who the class valedictorian is," said Chris without giving a greeting.  
  
"I thought that all the names were sealed. Wait…did you hack into the system again?" asked Steve Bailey he asked in an American Southern accent.  
  
"Yes…but don't say it out loud. That I hacked into the system," Chris ordered in a loud whisper narrowing his dark blue eyes.   
  
"Well, who is it?" asked Steve.  
  
"It's some punk. Sidney Marquette. What kind of name is that? Who the hell is he?" Chris said in a loud voice. Just then, a girl cleared her throat behind them. She was gorgeous. She was tall with red, wavy hair, and lovely green eyes. She was very breathing taking. But, Chris wanted to rant more, so he glared at the beautiful red head.  
  
"I was listening to what you were saying. I'm Sidney Marquette," she said with a bright smile on her face.   



	6. Regretting Nothing - Part 6

Regretting Nothing - Part 6  
  
Disclaimer: No. I still don't own Gundam Wing. Not that I am even trying to.  
  
Author's Note: Last time you were introduced to a new character, Christopher Ryan. Yes, he's special. As my roommate describes him, he's kinda of like Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi with an education and money. Which means he's pretty smart without the two. However, he has a lot of the good qualities the Gundam pilots have. He just has to grow up a little bit first. As for Relena…I mean Sidney Marquette, she's had a lot of changes that will lead to a amazing end. She is suppose to be an extraordinary individual. People like her do unusual things. In a way some might say I am making her into a worthy partner for Heero. Don't quit now. I won't say that there's going to be a happy ending, but don't flame me if you have problem. I have pave the way for the story, and I have prepared you the best way I can. By the way, do you really think I would make it that easy for him to find her?   
  
"You're-you're a girl!" Chris exclaimed.  
  
Chris couldn't believe it. The beautiful red head that stood before him was Sidney Marquette. He expected some sniveling geek with glasses that he could easily intimidate. No, she looked very formidable. She wasn't wearing heels, but she still could almost see eye to eye with him. And he was 6'1''. He was expecting a guy.  
  
"Yes, I am. Nobody has ever mistaken me for otherwise," she remarked smartly. 'Boy, does that sound like someone I used to know,' she mused.  
  
"Aren't you some kind of model? I've seen you before," broke in Steve.  
  
"As a matter of face, yes, I am a model," Sidney answered.  
  
"Well, um, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Steven Bailey. And this rude guy is Christopher Ryan," he said with a friendly smile.  
  
'It doesn't matter. Never mind, that she's a girl. I can still take her down,' thought Chris. With that thought, he gave her an evil glare. His eyes were almost the same color as Heero's, but only shade lighter. So, the glare that he gave her didn't faze her the slightest bit.  
  
"So, I take it, you're the second in the class," Sidney said with a smirk.  
  
"I guess I am. Since you're a girl, and I'm a gentleman, I am going to warn you right now: I am going to blow you out of the water," Chris said in a cold voice with that he stalked off.  
  
"You'll have to forgive him. He's a little uptight when it comes to grades," Steve said in defense of Chris.  
  
"A little?" Sidney said arching one of her eyebrows.  
  
"He's my roommate. He's very ambitious. I suggest you don't stand in his way," Steve said with a Southern twang. He was trying to be helpful.  
  
"Don't worry. I can take care of myself," assured Sidney. After that she left.  
  
***  
  
Week became months now. The public at large forgot the news of Relena's disappearance. She was a fading memory in the minds of the people. Eventually, a new foreign vice-minister was elected to replace her. His name was Wei Robinson, a half Chinese and half American, he was diplomat who was thirty-four years old. He had over ten years in politics. Wei Robinson knew a lot about foreign policy and was said to be as wise and as judicious as King Solomon out of the Bible. He was educated in Oxford with a doctorate in Politic Sciences. He wasn't an absolute pacifist like Relena, but he was a pacifist who believed that people had the right to defend themselves reasonably and responsibly. Vice Minister Robinson was much more practically in his ideals. It didn't take long for people to decide that despite the fact Relena Darlian did a good job before, Robinson, he was better at it.  
  
Many others realized that the charm that Relena had, the charm of a child, also made her inept. Some might have argued that she was quite mature for her age, but still it was wrong to rely on a child to have such a difficult job as maintaining peace. Granted, the five Gundam pilots were also quite young, they still didn't have the responsibility and the difficult job that Relena had.  
  
The Preventers had other things to do, and most of the Gundam pilots have other things in their lives to take care of. So as soon as Heero, Millardo, and Nion showed up they decided to take over the investigation, so that the others could be freed up. Not that, Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, and Duo still couldn't help, but now they were officially taken off the case. There was nothing left. All the trails lead to dead ends. They had exhausted all possibilities. Millardo had assumed that his sister left because of the sudden death of her mother. It was as if she had vanished into thin air. As if she never existed in the first place. She was nothing more, but an afterthought.  
  
***  
  
Chris knew the rules of defeating one's opponent was to learn more about her. He had to observe her in her natural setting. He had to get information on her. Chris soon found out that Sidney Marquette was an overachieving individual, just like himself. She was majoring in the medical school of their university, Excelsior University. All indications showed that she had promise as a fine surgeon. However, he later found out that she want to go into pediatrics. Moreover, Chris could almost find nothing on her past. It was as if she never existed before going to Excelsior University. He had cornered Angela Hart, Sidney's friend and roommate, but got no information out of her.  
  
"I see you've been checking me out for my weaknesses. Let me assure you right now: I am not afraid of you. I have dealt with far worse," Sidney said about a week after he had questioned Angie. She had caught me off guard and surprised him.  
  
He turned to find her standing behind him. Her hair was now a rich brown mahogany, which contrasted very nicely with her now blue eyes. Her skin was tanned.  
  
He let out a sigh, "Damn. What do you want, Marquette?"  
  
"Hmmm. I wanted to talk to you. I want to settle things. Why is it you're giving me such a hard time about being at the top of the class?" asked Sidney.  
  
"Because…I guess, it's because I've been the best wherever I've been. I didn't expect anyone to be able to beat me here. I guess it's hard to explain," mumbled Chris. For some strange reason, Sidney was making him feel like he was being a petty brat. She had the maturity and elegance over him. "How do you do it? How do you do so well without trying so hard?"  
  
Sidney couldn't help but smile. He really wasn't that bad. He was just insecure. "I do well because I don't try as hard. I do well because I love what I'm learning. Yeah, sure I still study a lot, but I've learned that it's not the grade that matters. It's if you really learn anything important," she said looking at him.  
  
"That's it. That's your secret?" asked Chris. He just couldn't believe how simple it was.  
  
Sidney knew that she still wasn't getting through to him. She shook her head and decided to switch tactics. Sid never thought that she would be using her diplomatic skills for something like this. She rubbed her head with her index finger and her thumb. "Tell me, something Chris: are you really learning anything? Because you have to ask yourself, if you're learning for yourself or for your grades. What are you really trying to prove?" she said in a quiet voice.  
  
Chris blinked twice. He never thought about it that way. 'Damn her. How does she do that?' he thought. He also thought of giving her a glare, but he knew that wouldn't work on her. He was now in deep thought. Sidney knew that she had won the argument, and she decided to break the silence.  
  
"What's your major, Chris?" Sidney asked as she pulled a lock of hair that fell over her eyes behind one of her ears.  
  
"I am a business major with a minor in electrical engineering," answered Chris, "I know that's a weird combination."  
  
"No, not at all. Never be afraid to be unusual," she said shaking her head. This caused her hair to shake and return to a loose hanging frame around her beautiful face.   
  
"It's obvious that you're not afraid of being unusual. You're the most unconventional person I have ever met," compliment Chris sincerely.  
  
They look at each other for a moment, and then they burst out laughing. After they got over it, Sidney looked at Chris, and held out her hand. Chris respected her. She had earned it. He took her hand and gave her a firm handshake.  
  
"Here's to a fair fight," said Sidney.   



	7. Regretting Nothing - Part 7

Regretting Nothing - Part 7  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I do own: Christopher Ryan, Angela Hart, Steve Bailey, and any upcoming character not from the series.  
  
Author's Note: If you're still hanging in there, let me reassure you everything leads to the end. I have to say that out there for those of you have lost hope. The plot will become simple once again. Just bare with me. As it stands, Relena hasn't been seen by anyone in her former life for over three years now. Later, there will be a check up with Heero and the others. I call this an interlude. It's a glimpse of her life and how it changes before she graduates from Excelsior University of British Columbia in Canada. This part is meant to give further dimensions to Chris and Angie, as well as Relena who is Sidney Marquette. Also I would like to thank Vadim for providing me with a birthday, March 8th, I chose this one. If you notice, I took the reciprocal of it with the astrological sign. Relena was originally a Pisces, now Sidney Marquette is a Virgo. Pisces is the opposite sign of Virgo. And vice versa. Anyway, back to my story.  
  
"Happy Birthday, Sidney!" yelled both Chris and Angie. The three of them always celebrated her birthday. It was always a happy occasion never a sad one. Her best friends would always try to top each other each year for getting her a birthday present. They were two of the warmest people in the entire universe. With them she felt comfortable and safe. They accepted everything about her. They loved her very much. Both, Chris and Angie knew that she had no parents and no family for that matter. So, they took it upon themselves to be a family for her. Both of them were only children, so they had an idea of what it meant to be lonely. The three best friends were very close. Despite problems in the beginning, Angie didn't like Chris much, but he had a sweet nature that grew on her.   
  
Chris learned a lot from Sidney. He learned that he had to live life as fully as she did. The reason why she was so easygoing was that there was very little to get upset about, it was just little things. They still were neck and neck for the position of class valedictorian. Sidney unfortunately, during some of the quarters finally faltered because she had accidentally allowed for her schedule to get too crowded for studying and classes. That and she had a bad case of seniorities.   
  
Angela was her main competitor in the medical school. However, their rivalry was still much more friendly than the one Sidney had with Chris. They could still laugh about it. While if things got bad between Chris and Sidney, one of them, namely Chris, would be sore at the other one for days. Angie and Chris shared a sort of psuedo brother-sister like relationship, which meant that they would argued over petty things. They would bicker. Angie was a fiercely loyal friend and could be relied on for almost anything. She could be trusted with secrets. Chris was a rational person who always looked at both sides of any argument, that is an argument not involving himself. He was empathetic to others.   
  
Today, September 8, her birthday according to her birth certificate. They were all at Angela's parents' new home in Prince Rupert Island, they decided to retire a year early there. Her parents were always so friendly to Sidney and Chris. They took both of them into the fold as if both were their own. Mrs. Hart made the birthday cake for Sid's small birthday party. Sidney did a lot of modeling shoots, but she didn't see the point to keeping the pictures, so Chris and Angie took them instead. They were very proud of her, while Sidney treasured the candid shoots she took of Angie and Chris.   
  
After their first year at Excelsior, Angie and Sid moved to an off-campus apartment. It was great to have a roommate who could afford to pay for half of the things; it seemed as if Sid didn't mind it so much. It also became very obvious that Sidney prefer making her life as simple as possible. She never let much get to her. Even though she could afford to have a car, she still used public transportation. Sidney was often heard saying, "The simpler things are the better."  
  
It was about a week before graduation that Sidney had to go to Spain for a fashion shoot. So, Angela left with her so that they could get in some more fun before graduation. A week after graduation was to be the last job that Sidney had to do for her contract to be up. The Beaumont Agency tried everything to convince her to renew her contract, but she wasn't interested. Actually, Sidney didn't want to press her luck with each fashion shoot she was getting more and more paranoid about getting caught. In other words, she had to get going while the going was still good. Chris was invited to go with the girls to Spain, but he declined he said that he had to go see his parents in Manhattan before graduation. Even though, his parents were arriving for graduation the following week.  
  
***  
  
The day of graduation was a sunny one. When Angie and Sid came back, they found out that Chris was the class valedictorian. It made sense since he and Sid were so close in competition. He only beat her by 0.25, but that was good enough. As it stood, Sidney was class salutatorian and Angela had the third highest grades on the final standings. Sidney decided that she didn't want to make a speech. Angela supported her, despite the fact that Chris wanted her to. Angela and Chris thought that she didn't like talking in front of large crowds. The Chancellor allowed for Sidney not to make a speech. So, she wasn't forced to, after all she wasn't class valedictorian. Sid and Angie had to pick up their classes rings and their doctorates later at the ceremony. They were dressed in black mortarboards and robes for the ceremony. Chris delivered a beautiful speech partly because he got a lot of help from Sidney when he composed it.   
  
At the end of the day, the three friends went out all night, and partied until dawn. They actually began to talk about future plans at breakfast at an outdoor café in the early morning hours.  
  
"So, what are you going to do now, Angie?" asked Chris as he stirred his latte.  
  
"I already got a job at a hospital at Washington, D.C. I am going to be researching for cancer with one of my idols," she answered with a smile, "What about you, Dr. Marquette?"  
  
"I decided to hold out for a little while longer before I settle down, Dr. Hart," answered Sidney as she sipped her coffee.  
  
"Wait. I thought that you weren't going to renew your contract with Beaumont," asked Chris with a mouth full of pastry.  
  
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Mr. Ryan," said Angie. Chris smirked at this comment. And decided to so show the chewed up particles in his mouth. "Yuck. What's wrong with you? You've only been out of college for a several hours, and you're already acting stupid."  
  
"Yes. My contract will be up after the shoot in Barbados. After that, I am free. You hear me! FREE!" Sidney said with a laugh. Both Chris and Angie had a look on their faces that showed that they were slightly embarrassed by her. She had yet another look for the last shoot that she used for the ceremony. Her hair was dyed black and had curls in it. It had grown out a little bit from the last haircut she had; it was now at her shoulders. Her eyes were wearing an amber color. A look that was inspired by Angie's exotic looks. She looked like a beautiful exotic tropical goddess.   
  
"What are you going to do, Sid? What hospital are you going to work for? I think I can still put in a word for you, if you just wait awhile," said Angie.  
  
"Signed up for the special physicians abroad program. They want a pilot and a doctor. As of yesterday, I happen to be both. So, I'll be leaving right after the Barbados shoot in Jamaica," informed Sidney. The true was she wasn't ready to settle in anyone place again for a little bit. If she had to wait for a little bit, after all college was only an interlude for most people. It wasn't something permanent. To pick some place to practice would have meant that she would have to be tied down. To pick a life already. She didn't feel emotional prepared for it.  
  
"Well, have fun. I don't envy you, Sid. You'll be going through jungles and other unpleasant places. It would be like going to Chris and Steve's apartment everyday. Danger with things that shouldn't be moving. Even though, it's good noble work to help poor people who can't afford doctors," Angie remarked.  
  
"Hey! What about my apartment?" cried Chris. Chris and Angie glared at each other. Sid couldn't help, but laugh.   
  
"Oh, by the way, promise that you will drop us a line or an e-mail or something. Send us some postcards. Tell us about some of your adventures. Don't forget us, okay?" said Chris in a sincere voice.  
  
"Don't be silly. Of course, I keep contact with you both. I wouldn't abandon you guys. I trust you both more than anyone," said Sidney who was alarmed at how emotional she was getting. She never told them about her past. Before it was out of necessity, now she couldn't tell them because she had lied to both of them for so long. She was afraid to lose them, if she told them the truth. "Enough of this mush. It's not like we'll ever see each other any more. Chris, you didn't say what you were going do with you degree in business and minor in electrical engineering," said Sid who was switching topics away from her.  
  
"No. I didn't. How could I have forgotten? Steve and I have decide to make our own business together," said Chris.  
  
"What kind of business?" asked Sidney.  
  
"Well, it's sort of for corporate espionage. There is a market for companies that do that kind of work. It falls under security. So, we want to get in at the ground floor. I am going to ask for a loan from the bank, instead of my parents. I want to do it on my own. Without their help, even if they would offer to help. I mean look at you, Sid. You made it on your own," Chris said as he gestured at Sidney. She was starting to feel a little more uncomfortable. Angie decided that it was time to break for the day. Sidney had to pack and get ready to leave in the next few days. They already moved out of their apartment and were living with Steve and Chris for the time being. Chris gave up his cleaner room for the girls to stay in, and took the living roof pull out sofa bed. So, Angie lift up her coffee mug, and Sidney and Chris followed suit. They put their mugs together.  
  
"Here's to the future. The world is ours now. It's what we make it. Good luck to all of us," toasted Angie. With that their mugs made a clunk sound. They decided to walk back to Chris' apartment.  
  
A few days later, Sidney was off to the airport. After the shoot was over she took a flight to South Africa to began her new job as a doctor and as a pilot.  
  
***  
  
Back at the Preventers offices, Heero was in his office. It has been four years since Relena has left. There was never a trace of her. He still worked for the Preventers. He and Millardo kept up the search for much longer than anyone. However, with Relena's disappearance, Millardo had to take over some of Relena's duties. He now had occupied Relena's offices. His wife, Nion, had their first child two years after Relena disappeared. She allowed to let the child be named Lena a derivative of her aunt's name, when Millardo immediately said that she looked just like Relena when she was a baby.   
  
The world didn't stop the day Relena left. The reason why they called it a disappearance instead of a runaway was because no one wanted to believe that she would leave without a good reason. Peace was still maintained. It didn't take any more people to take care of it more than when Relena was vice-minister. Needlessly to say, the world did not crumble in her absence. It still progressed like it always did.   
  
Heero continued searching for Relena longer than anyone. He did it until Lena was born. He thought of her often. But, he didn't cease functioning. Something that did change in his behavior, was the fact that he reverted back to the way he was before he had ever meet the other Gundam pilots. And Relena. He worked covert operations to maintain peace. He didn't mind such missions. They were the things that Relena, if she had been there, would have approved of.  
  
'I know that you're alive somewhere. I hope you have a happy life, Relena,' thought Heero. This was when he was still looking at the that old footage of the security tape. He still freezes it at the spot where it catches her side profile. But, he only did this in his office. Which, he was rarely in anyway.   



	8. Regretting Nothing - Part 8

Regretting Nothing - Part 8  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundman Wing. But, my original characters are mine! You hear me mine! Sorry I should stop that. Don't stop reading.  
  
Author's Note: Relena is now a doctor by the name of Dr. Sidney Marquette. Her age is suppose to be twenty-two like the rest of the Gundam pilots, but she put her age a year older in her forged documents. She graduated out of Excelsior University, but she is at a genius level just like the rest of her friends. Which means that she is quite advance. However, from here on out it's different. Here is the part where you will think that I may have seen more than one too many ER episodes. Also, Heero in the last part has finally resigned himself not to keep looking for her. After all, it's been awhile. But, not all good things can last forever, especially if it's based on a lie.   
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
Dr. Marquette was already running late. It was already 6:15, she was suppose to be at the emergency room at six. However, it was a rainy day, and there was traffic everywhere. It has been three months since she finished her service at the physicians abroad program. Dr. Angela Hart, who was still working in cancer research, had helped her get the a position by recommending her. It's been a year since the day at the café in British Columbia. Sidney now wore her hair natural blond color and her eyes were there natural light blue color. She was no longer super model, Sidney Marquette, so she didn't have to keep changing her looks anymore. She did however cut her hair really short, and it was beautiful to say the least. Her specialty was pediatrics, but she was working the ER. She was also known to be a fantastic surgeon.  
  
After trekking through the jungles of Honduras and India, and also the plains of South Africa and China, she was relieved to be back to civilization. Sidney learned how to work under some of the worse conditions without the best equipment. This made her highly resourceful and gives her the ability to improvise when the need came up.   
  
However, the life in civilization was more fast paced, there were also traffic jams. And other things like that. She worked usually ten hour shifts. So, tonight she would be on from six at night to four in the morning. This suited her just fine. She really didn't mind it too much. She walked into the ER wearing her scrubs underneath with a black pea coat over them. She was carrying her old reliable backpack from Excelsior.   
  
"Sorry, I was stuck in traffic," Sidney said as she shook her umbrella to get the excess water off. The nurse took the umbrella from her and handed a chart in place of it.  
  
"You're needed in Exam Room One as soon as you finish depositing you things to the locker room," said the nurse. Sidney took the chart, and moved quickly to the locker room. She opened her locker and put the backpack in while she placed the chart on top of the lockers. She put on the lab coat that had her name embroidered on it. It was a gift from Chris, he give both Angie and her lab coats with already had their names on it. They later found out that he had bought them a year before they even finished. Sidney couldn't help but admire the faith he had in them. She placed her stethoscope in one of her lab coat pockets and closed the locker. She picked up the chart and went off to Exam Room One.  
  
It wasn't until about 10:00 when another doctor showed up to take up the slack. With the rain, there were usually more accidents. So, usually more doctors were called in. She ran her fingers through her hair, and decided to go get a cup of java from the cafeteria. That was where she found a very weary, Angela having a cup of java as well.  
  
"Hi Angie, what are you doing here? I thought that lab rats worked regular hours. Isn't late for you to be here?" said Sidney.  
  
"Oh, hello Sid. I didn't know that you were on tonight. I guess with the rain and all. As for your question as to what I am doing here, it's because I have a six year old patient who has leukemia. I can't save him. It's just breaking my heart," she said almost clipping the last part with her British accent.  
  
"Oh. I am sorry. I know hard it is. To watch, someone die because the cells in their own body have turned against them. How it's like to watch them fade a little bit at a time. To watch someone crumble. It is heartbreaking," Sidney said in a far off voice. Suddenly, memories were coming back to her. She quickly put those away.  
  
"Did you ever something like that while you were Asia, Africa, or Latin America?" asked Angie.  
  
"No. I mean yes. But, I am talking from personal experience," she answered in a soft voice as she traced her finger over the rim of her cup.  
  
"What about?" Angie inquired. She was eager to hear anything Sidney had to say about her past. Although, Angie already knew that it was probably a sad past, she still wanted to hear it.  
  
"My mother died of breast and ovary cancer. When I was seventeen," revealed Sidney. Her eyes lacked any emotion.  
  
"You're mother died. A year before you went to college? Before Excelsior? That must have been terrible for you. I had no idea. You should have said something sooner. Why didn't you say anything about her death until now," asked Angie. Her eyes filled with genuine concern.   
  
"I guess I thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would have made the pain go away. But, there are days when the pain is as fresh as the day she died. I wasn't even there when she died. What does that make me? A terrible daughter? A horrible person?" said Sidney.   
  
"No. None of that was your fault. It never was. How could you let yourself believe that? Who made it that you think everything is your fault? Because no one can be blame for everything," she reassured her. But, before Sidney could say anything to Angie in response there was a page.  
  
"Dr. Marquette. Please report to the emergency room."  
  
" I have to go," said Sidney as she got up and left the table.  
  
***  
  
Apparently, there was car accident that involved three cars and a motorcycle. One of the cars was a limo. The motorcyclist was dead on arrival. The other people were in critical condition. They were in all the available exam rooms. Sidney came running in and one of the other male doctors, Sean Finnegan, handed her a chart.   
  
"The patient in Exam Room Three is Caucasian female. Age twenty-two. She's pretty banged up. But, she's in the best shape compared to the others. She was the passenger in the totaled limo outside. You should see it, Sid. The entire trunk space is completely driven into the back seat. But, since there weren't any seat belts, she was thrown forward with such force that it may have give her a concussion and perhaps just a broken arm. I'll let you see her, since you have been here the longest, now," finished Dr. Finnegan.  
  
"Wait, where's Dr. Johnson?" asked Sidney.   
"He already went home," answered Dr. Finnegan as he ran off to help stabilize someone's spine. Their conversation last for less than a minute.  
  
The motorcycle coming out of no where in an intersection and losing control caused the car accident. The limo came to a stop, but another car, with a family of four couldn't stop in time, and plowed into it. The third car was the one that hit the motorcycle, and it in moments later hit a telephone pole. All of this, Sidney would find out later. For now, she had to go see the patient.  
  
"Dr. Marquette, she seems only semi-conciseness," remarked Nurse Perez, "She's still pretty banged up. But, out of all the others, she's the most likely to live through this. She's lost so much blood and I think she has more than a broken arm."  
  
As a practice of giving care to anyone, the doctors at Saving Grace Hospital of Washington, D.C. emergency room, typically folded the top sheet which held the name of the patient and other insurance information over the back of the chart. The sheet underneath was the information on the patient's injuries. It is a practice that Sidney Marquette will wish never existed as she came to the patient. With the nurse still hovering, she finally saw who the patient was.   
  
The young woman was definitely Relena's age. She had long platinum blond hair, but this time her eyebrows were sculpted to have only the bottom half. Her skin was even paler because of the lost of blood. She was still for the moment. And her eyes were closed for the moment.   
  
"Dorothy Catalonia…" said Dr. Sidney Marquette in a soft voice forgetting to treat her for a moment.   
  
Suddenly, the young woman's eyes shot open. She took a look at the doctor who was standing over her.  
  
"Miss…Relena…" Dorothy said in a shocked voice.  
  
Author's Note: The jig is up for Relena. If you notice I let it slip by using Relena's name for the age of Dorothy. I'll just assume that they're about the same age. Don't comment on that little slip. Call the use of my creative license.   



	9. Regretting Nothing - Part 9

Regretting Nothing - Part 9  
  
Disclaimer: Same as always. I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
Author's Note: Last time, Dr. Sidney Marquette had to treat Dorothy Catalonia. Dorothy knows that Dr. Sidney Marquette is formally Relena Darlian. I have worked in an emergency room in case anyone was wondering. I totally forgot that they used military time in most emergency rooms, so I put it here now. I wanted this as realistic as possible. So, this is a whole new set of problems for her. Let's just say her past finally caught up with her.  
  
"Miss…Relena…it is you!" exclaimed Dorothy who practically came off the bed. Sidney held her firmly down. Sidney was now mad. This was something she did not expect. Now she remembered that she had to do her job. Sidney let go of Dorothy. Dorothy was light headed now and she decided it was probably a good idea to stay in the bed, even if Relena didn't say so. Sidney turned and walked over to the exam tray and pick up an injection and filled the syringe with a sedative. After that she walked back to Dorothy's bedside, and with a cotton ball to sterilize the area she wiped over where she was going to inject the sedative.  
  
"I am going to have to sedate you now, Ms. Catalonia," she said in a firm voice, with that she insert the needle and push down the plunger of the injection, and lifted it back up. Almost immediately the sedative worked. Now that Dorothy was knocked out, Sidney could work on her without any noise coming from her. She wasn't in the mood for whatever lies Dorothy was might to spout. She had tolerated Dorothy before, but she didn't have to now. She wasn't a diplomat; she could honestly say when she didn't like people. But, there was one saving thing about Dorothy's character. Actually, two. She knew that Dorothy was going to betray long before she ever did in the past. She expected that out of her. Relena didn't expect it out Heero or Millardo. The reason why Sidney tolerated her before was because of the old adage: "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." The second thing was Dorothy had changed from being a war mongrel to a well-known pacifist and philanthropist. Sidney hypothesized that Dorothy had the epiphany that what she was doing wrong after the Libra incident all those years ago. She wasn't in politics, but talked about her views often at public functions. Sidney followed her career, so to speak, not religiously, but to keep up with the events of the world. She knew that Dorothy was attending UC Berkeley, a school known for its liberals, just as Excelsior was known for its geniuses. So, Sidney didn't hate her, but rather she was awry of her. But, now was good and mad at her as well.   
  
She walked over to more medical equipment and pick up the X-ray scanner. She scanned Dorothy's body, and afterwards entered the data into the reader. Sidney found out that Dorothy had broken her arm, but there was more damage than that. She had punctured her lung and had broken two ribs. Thankfully, Dorothy didn't have any damage to her cranium. However, Sidney was working fast. Because Dorothy had lost blood, Sid had to call the blood bank. It took a little under an hour, but when Sidney was done she ordered that Dorothy stay in the exam room for a while before she was to be moved.  
  
When she got outside the exam room, she stripped off her rubber gloves, and threw them into the trash receptacle. As she did that, "DAMMIT!" she said in a loud voice as she stomped her foot. She felt like punching a wall in frustration. But, before she could think about it anymore, she got another page. She was off and running again.   
  
***  
  
Sidney was a professional if not anything else. So, when it came time to work, she stopped thinking about her problems and got to work. She was a focused person; she still believed that people's lives matter more than her problems. As she was with a little girl who's brother bit her, she was very focused. The parents of the children weren't too happy. But, afterwards Sidney decided to have a talk with the little boy.  
  
"Why did you bite your sister, Sammy?" asked Sidney. She was really good with kids, after all she was pediatrician.   
  
"'Cause I don't like her," answered Sammy with a lisp. He was only four years old and his sister, Janine was only three. Apparently, according to the parents, Janine started crying early in the morning waking everyone up. So, Sammy decided to remedy the problem by biting her. Of course, this made things worse.   
  
"You just can't go biting people, Sammy. Especially your little sister. Why don't you like her?" said Sidney in a calm voice.   
  
"Well, it 'cause she cries a lot. I don't understand a word she says. She's no fun. Momma says that one day she will be fun. I can't wait that long. I never asked for a little sister. No one asked me if I wanted her, Dr. Sid," stated Sammy empathically. Dr. Sid was what Sidney allowed her littlest patients to call her. It made them more comfortable. She also made it a point to go to eye level with any of the children she was talking. It made them feel important.   
  
"Well, your mother is right, Sammy. You just have to hang in there. You have a very cute sister. One day, she'll mean a lot to you. But, for now I want you to promise me that I won't be seeing you again because you bite your sister, okay?" said Sidney holding out her hand.  
  
"Okay. I promise, Dr. Sid. But, I still won't like her. Just I won't bite her, anymore," said Sammy who looked right into her eyes. Sidney believed him, and they shook hands. As Sammy ran back to his parents, little Janine ran to Sidney.  
  
"Thank…you..Docker Sid," said Janine. Sidney picked her up despite the stickiness because of the lollipop that she had consumed after the treatment. "You'll be just fine, Janine," assured Sidney. After the entire family left the ER, with the parents telling Sammy that he was still going to be punished when they all got home.  
  
***  
  
Dr. Katrina Piccolo, Kat for short, was the head of the ER. Unlike, the usually heads of the departments, she was a hands on doctor. Especially with the storm that just wouldn't let up outside, every doctor in the ER was needed. Kat was brought in at the wee hours of the morning. She had graduated out of Harvard, and she was twenty-six years old. She was a very rare, Italian blond with dark eyebrows and eyes for contrast. All of which was naturally.  
  
"Nurse Perez, is Exam Room Three free?" asked Dr. Piccolo.   
  
"No. There's a patient there who wasn't stable enough to be move. She was in the car accident at around 23:20. Do you want me to go and check for you, Dr. Piccolo?" said Nurse Perez.  
  
"No, that's all right Anita. I'll do it myself," she answered. Dr. Piccolo went to Exam Room Three, and found that the patient had finally regained conscious from the sedative she was given.   
  
"Oh, wow. I didn't expect someone like you, Ms. Dorothy Catalonia. However, as much as it is a honor to meet you. I have to move you to another room. We need the space, and there's already a room ready for you, Ms. Catalonia," said Dr. Piccolo.  
  
"Where's the doctor who treated me when I first got here? I'd like to see her," she made the mistake of trying to get back up. There was contortion of pain in her face. So, Dr. Piccolo gently pushed her back down.  
"Well, let me see your chart, so that I can checked you treated you earlier. Hmmm. According to this it was Dr. Sidney Marquette. I guess she wouldn't have a problem seeing you later. But, as it stands it's pretty busy here. Oh, by the way, you will have to stay in the hospital for at least forty-eight hours. So, we can make sure, your body doesn't fall apart when you leave. I'll relay to Sid that you wanted to see her, Ms. Catalonia," said Dr. Piccolo as she motioned for the orderlies to move her to a stretcher freeing up the exam room.  
  
"Sidney Marquette. Dr. Sidney Marquette. Sid," Dorothy said in an inaudible whisper trying to commit Relena's new name to memory. Not that she was positive it was her. But, in the back of Dorothy's mind she knew.  
  
***  
  
At about one in the morning, when things have finally tapered down in ER. Although, the doctors were still on alert. Dr. Piccolo decided it was time to catch up with Dr. Marquette. Kat thought that Sid was one of the best doctors on staff in the entirely hospital. Despite, her age she had a lot maturity. She also had a lot of experience. Sid had varied skills that made her a priceless member of her department. She was also the quiet and mysterious sort that never talked about anything personal. Kat and the rest of the staff were well aware of the fact that she used to be a model. When Dr. Angela Hart recommended her for the position, it was unanimous by the board to hire her. However, Kat had her reservations about hiring someone who was like Sid, but those reservations disappeared right away. Sidney was well liked and respected by the staff. Because it was her skills and personality that made her so likable. Sidney was general easygoing person with a good sense of humor. That was why Kat never expected that reaction from her.  
  
"Hey, Sid. The patient you treated earlier wants to meet you," said Kat.  
  
"Which one, Kat? I've seen so many tonight or this morning, whatever day it is….that I don't remember," said Sidney quite honestly. She was physically exhausted. She couldn't remember the names of all the people she had treated. Not that she was expected to.  
  
"Dorothy Catalonia. That speaker who talks about peace, and gives to charity. Who knows she might give the hospital a donation because of your good work on her," joked Kat.  
  
"No. I won't see her," said Sidney. She shook her head. Sidney had almost forgotten that Dorothy was even in the hospital. Her territory.  
  
"But, she wants to see you, Sidney," said Kat who was now concerned. Sidney was the type of doctor who cared so much for her patients that she would check on them even after they left the emergency room.  
  
"I don't want to see her. I don't have do to anything. I don't want to do," Sidney said her voice was now cold. Her eyes were like flint. Kat took an unconscious step away from her. Suddenly, Sidney realized the way she was acting, so she quickly made up an excuse. "I am sorry, Kat. It's been a long night. I am just really tired, and my shift isn't over for another three hours," she said shaking her head sheepishly.  
  
"That's alright. It's been a long night. Sean said that you were here longer after Logan left. I should have known better. But, since you are tired, maybe you should take a break in the crash room. We have the crash room in maternity for tonight or for this morning because all the exam rooms are needed," suggested Kat.  
  
"No. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather just go home. I am already dead on my feet," said Sidney. Kat looked at her, and realized that now that things had died down, Sidney could leave.  
  
"You should go. Get some rest. You have the next two days off," instructed Kat.  
  
With that, Sidney went to the parking lot and got into her car, a shining new silver Mercedes, and drove home to her apartment in Georgetown. Her apartment was not that far from Saving Grace Hospital. She needed time to think and rest. She had to get ready for what was coming up next. She had the feeling that she was going to have to buckle down her heels, and get ready for a fight.   
  
  
  



	10. Regretting Nothing - Part 10

Regretting Nothing - Part 10  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Maybe, some one will buy me a Gundam for my birthday.  
  
Author's Note: Dorothy's in the hospital after a bad car accident. The chase has finally begun. There will still be some twists. Yes, I do like torturing you people. This is my hobby.  
  
Dorothy had been in the hospital for over twenty-four hours now. She was groggy from too much sleep and medicine to dull the pain. On top of that, she was subjected to the horrible hospital food. 'How is it possible for every hospital in existence to have such awful food? Do they all use the same cookbook?' thought Dorothy frowning as she stirred some unidentifiable mush. 'I am going to need another doctor or a stomach pump if I eat any of this,' she mused. So, instead of risking it, she pushed the tray away. Lady Une was at the entrance of Dorothy's room and cleared her throat.  
  
"Enjoy the food, Dorothy?" asked Lady Une with a slight smile.  
  
"If the accident didn't kill me, then the food will," said Dorothy with disgust as eyed the food. She was afraid the mush would come alive at any moment and attempt to kill her.  
  
"I heard what happened after that conference you talked at last night," said Lady Une.  
  
"Perhaps, I should have stayed for the ball afterwards, but I didn't want to. Besides, I wouldn't have seen her if I had," said Dorothy. She had important news. Lady Une would be happy to hear about it. So, Dorothy was acting a little catty.  
  
"Her? Who are you talking about, Miss Dorothy?" asked Lady Une. Dorothy couldn't help, but smile. She had gotten Lady Une's attention.   
  
"Relena Darlian Peacecraft." Dorothy said without much further adieu. She was looking quite smug.   
  
"Are you positive, Miss Dorothy?" said Lady Une. To say the least she was stunned.   
  
"Would I lie about something like this? Something everyone's been praying for?" asked Dorothy looking sharply at Lady Une.  
  
"You said that you saw her here. Well, then where did you see her? Was she involved in the accident you were in?" questioned Lady Une.   
  
"No. She wasn't in the accident. She was the doctor who treated me when I came in. She works in the emergency room," answered Dorothy.  
  
"Relena? A doctor?" gasped Lady Une. She couldn't believe it. She knew that Relena was obviously quite intelligent. But, a doctor?   
  
"Yes. She's under a different name. Sidney Marquette. She also looks different. Her hair's much shorter. Her right ear has four extra earring holes in it that is not including the one regular one. I also could have swore that she grew taller," informed Dorothy.  
  
"The emergency room, right? Do you mind if I go down there and check?" asked Lady Une. Something about Dorothy made Lady Une want to believe her. The only way to do that was to check. Dorothy nodded and Lady Une was off to the emergency room.  
  
When she got there she walked up to the secretarial desk of the ER, the was a staff member sitting there in front of a computer. "Yes, can I help you, Miss? Wait, you're Lady Une of the Preventers!" exclaimed the very perky front desk girl. "Are you here for some top secret mission?"  
  
"Actually, I am here for some information," stated Lady Une, "Do you have a Dr. Sidney Marquette on staff?"   
  
"Oh! Sid. Yeah, we do. But, I don't know if she's on today," said the girl, "Hey, Dr. Johnson is Sid here today?" she called to a man in his early thirties with black hair and green eyes. He was short at about only 5'7".  
  
"No. She's not. She won't be back on for two days," answered Dr. Johnson, "Do you need something, Lady Une?" he asked cautiously. He was so short compared to this woman just like with Sid. But, Sid made him feel comfortable.   
  
"That's alright," said Lady Une. She had a feeling that this was all true, but this was something she had to tell the others to investigate when she got back to the Preventers Offices in Europe.   
  
***  
This was the second time Lady Une ever called an emergence meeting with the Gundam pilots. Except this time, Heero, Noin, and Millardo are present for this meeting. Sally Po also decided to attend. So, they all waited for Lady Une. She had call them all while she was on the plane. When, she finally arrived, the meeting began. Mariemeia was with Lena in one of the other rooms watching her for Noin and Millardo.   
  
"What is this all about that we had to come here at this God forsaken hour, Woman?" said Wufei in an angry tone. Around the room one could obviously see that it was far too early in the morning for this. Duo was obviously yawning and making exaggerated movements. This was really annoying Wufei, who was slapping Duo's arms back with a scowl on his face. Quatre was blinking his eyes in an attempt to keep awake. Trowa had a blank not quite awake look on his face. Heero simply had his arms folded over his chest. He wore no expression on his face. Millardo had arms in the table, and his hands were around his coffee mug. Noin wore an expression that said, "Well, what?" Sally Po was drinking out the her coffee mug and already on her second cup. Lady Une let out a sigh. She hoped that what she was about to say was going to wake them all up.  
  
"I think I found Relena," Lady Une said in a quite voice.   
  
It was as if someone had let off a firecracker in the room.   
  
Everyone had truly woken up at once. This started an entire barge of questions.  
  
"What do you mean you think you've found, Relena?" Millardo said, he was practically shouting.  
  
"Where? Where? Where?" asked Duo. He was now wide-awake.  
  
"Why are you just standing there, Woman?! Explain yourself!" shouted Wufei.  
  
Heero's eyes had widen slightly at the beginning of Lady Une's announcement. While everyone else was causing a ruckus, Heero decided to listen and to turn on his laptop.  
  
"I was checking up on Dorothy. She was in a bad car accident. But, everything with her seems fine. However, when she first arrived, a Dr. Sidney Marquette treated her. Dr. Marquette is Relena. Although, I haven't confirmed. It's the best lead we've had in five years. It came from Dorothy, so it should be pretty solid," said Lady Une.  
"Which hospital?" asked Heero in a quiet voice. Everyone was surprise to hear him talk, he almost never talked during mission briefs or meetings.   
  
"Saving Grace Hospital in Washington, D.C. Relena, I mean Sidney Marquette, works in the ER," answered Lady Une. Heero typed into his computer, while he was doing so the conversation continued.   
  
"A doctor? My sister is a doctor," Millardo said it with a certain amount of pride. Even if it wasn't confirmed yet.   
  
"Sidney Marquette. That is an unusual name," commented Quatre.  
  
"Yeah. It's unisex. I like it. I bet Sid is her nickname," stated Duo cheerful.  
  
"The woman's got lots of explaining to do," said Wufei. Trowa said nothing.   
  
"If she's a doctor, that means she is very well skilled and highly educated," this comment came from Sally.  
  
"That is if it is her," said Noin. She really didn't want to bring them back to reality. But, they were getting their hopes up too high right away. Just then, Heero projected something on the viewer of the conference room. He had hacked in the Saving Grace Hospital's personnel files and download a file. It was the picture that Sidney Marquette had on her staff ID of herself. It was suppose to be like a mug shot, but instead looked quite flattering.  
  
"It is her," said Heero in a soft voice. There was a collective silence in the room. Millardo hadn't expected his little sister to change that much, but she had to the look of an older and wiser woman. She no longer looked cute-she was beautiful. She was no longer a child.   
  
"Oh my God. She-she cut all of that beautiful hair of hers! " cried Duo.  
  
"See, Duo. Not everyone is that attached to their hair," said Wufei with an evil grin on his face. With that comment, Duo pulled his braid closer to him, and further away from Wufei. With whom he was sitting right next to. Duo kind of let out a whimper.  
  
"Are those five earrings in just one ear? What does that mean?" asked Quatre. The Relena, he knew was a conservative person.  
  
"What else does the file say, Heero?" asked Trowa.  
  
"According to the personnel file, Relena or rather Sidney, only started working at the hospital three months ago. Before that she was in the Physician Fliers, a program where doctors were brought to places that couldn't afford or get doctors to come there. Re-Sidney graduated a year ago from the Excelsior University in British Columbia, Canada. Also, her birthday is different. However, her health history is here, including her blood type that matches her up, all right. Other than all that, her home phone number and address is also here," said Heero. Everyone was staring at him.   
  
"Excelsior University! The hardest schools to get into in the entire planet. I applied there, but didn't get in. I had to go to Cambridge instead. The student body is made up of geniuses," informed Quatre. This was unbelievable. Quatre major was in business and economics.   
  
"So, what? Maybe it's just as pretentious as Cambridge," said Wufei. He was proud to have graduated from the University of Tokyo. Which also had quite a student body. Wufei was earning a degree in Chinese Literature, with a minor in physics. The rest of the pilots either did have to go or didn't want to go to college. As it stood, neither Wufei or Quatre graduated yet, but it was their last year at their respective universities.  
  
"What did she put on as her birthday?" asked Millardo.   
  
"September 8th," answered Heero. He knew her birthday well, it was a date that never forgot. "She put her birthday a year older."  
  
"A year older? Maybe that's why she graduated so fast. That added with the fact that Excelsior has an accelerated program…yes, it's possible for her to be a doctor," said Quatre.  
  
"Relena must have worked very hard. Doesn't that school have students whose IQ's are between 140 to 150?" commented Sally.  
  
"That's right," nodded Quatre, "I was told that the school was too fully to take anymore people. But, I also found out that Excelsior is a school that takes more precedents over ability and talent than to money. I later found out, that Excelsior didn't except me because they thought that I was too busy, and that I wouldn't be able to take the programs there seriously. Unfortunately, that's true. I barely get to my classes in Cambridge. What with the business with my family and the Preventers." Quatre didn't mind. The truth was that Excelsior was too demanding for his tastes.  
  
"I think we should find out more information. Before we confront her. We don't want to scare her off again. This is a lucky break. It may not come again," said Lady Une.  
  
"I just want to see my sister. That's all, but you're probably right about scaring her off. So, we should take our time," said Millardo.  
  
'Yes, we need to take our time,' thought Heero.   



	11. Regretting Nothing - Part 11

Regretting Nothing - Part 11  
  
Disclaimer: I promise I won't try to be cute here. =^._.^= That's a deformed cat. Anyway, I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
Author's Note: Relena just got caught. Big surprise there, like I would write it without her getting caught. Anyway, it was only a matter of time. Relena isn't at the hospital she got two days off after the night she saw Dorothy. Everyone now knows her new identity. But, all of them have agreed that it would probably be a good idea to find out more than just barging into her life. Does that make them out of character? Or logical? I'll let you decide. Back to the story.  
  
Sidney Marquette was in her one bedroom apartment in Georgetown. She was restless and paranoid. She also couldn't sleep. The nightmares that haunted her from childhood were still present. For some unknown reason, they had intensified, and came more often. Making it unbearable for Sidney to go to sleep. That was one of the reasons why she didn't mind working odd hours in the emergency room. She took shifts most people wouldn't have taken.   
  
Sidney took lots of coffee, basically anything that had caffeine in it to avoid going to sleep. There were days when such behavior took it's toll. However, Sidney never showed it. She didn't want to be thought of as weak. After all, Sidney was model she knew the tricks of hiding dark circles under her eyes or getting rid of the puffiness. Sidney no longer cried after a nightmare, she had outgrow that. She did anything to pass the time when she should have been sleeping. She was reading, listening to music, or practicing Tai Chi or yoga. In the garage, Sidney kept her sports equipment. She also read the newspapers, but she didn't own the television. It was in the newspaper where she found out that she had a three year old niece, Lena. Sidney didn't know how to react to having her niece named after her. Or rather, Relena. She clipped the announcement of Lena's birth, and saved it among her files.  
  
Sidney kept her apartment neat. Despite the fact it only had one bedroom, it was spacious. Her kitchen was large and spacious, but she could only cook certain foods. No one was perfect after all. She had pictures of Chris and Angie, but never of herself. There were a few candid shot of her with either Chris or Angie, or both. She also had a training pole, to practice her hand coordination in the living room. The door to her room was a sliding door out of an Asian designed. So, the furniture looked at like something out of the Bombay Company. Exotic and beautiful. Sidney was known for having excellent taste. Even though she no longer modeled, she still dressed in a simple sophisticated style. Except for a few pieces of her wardrobe, most of it was solids. She still had a lot of casually clothes, which were her favorite things to wear. She was wearing a sweater with the name of Excelsior on it, and a pair of well worn jeans. She had taken out all her earrings, and her class ring. These were the only pieces of jewelry she wore for the most part.   
  
There was also something else in her apartment that she kept.  
  
Every doctor was required to have a psychological evaluation. Sidney had to do it for the Physician Fliers and Saving Grace. There were prescriptions given to her for mild depression and insomnia. However, since they gave her prescriptions, they assumed the problems were solved. She kept the prescriptions in the drawer, but never had them filled. Sidney didn't want to think that she needed drugs to survive. Besides, the nightmares were that bad. At least that's what she tried to convince herself.  
  
***  
  
Lady Une and Millardo decided to divide everyone on into teams or dispatch an individual to do some questioning. The first place to ask questions would be at Relena's alma mater, Excelsior University. It would be soon enough before they would be able to assemble a dossier on Sidney Marquette. They all soon found out that she was the model whose face was practically everywhere for a short time.   
  
They assembled almost all the pictures and video shots of Sidney Marquette. Duo scheduled for the viewing of all the material he and Quatre had gathered up.  
  
"Wow. I mean wow. Talk about hiding in plain sight. Sidney Marquette did shoots all over the world. However, the reason she was able to keep her identity a secret was the fact that she never duplicated the same look for every shoot that she did. Some of the looks were downright remarkable," said Duo.  
  
"It's amazing how makeup, hair dye and styles, contacts, and different clothes can do. It was as if she became a different person for each of the fashion shoots," added Quatre. Duo and he started to show the pictures (which was quite a few, but not all of them) in the form of a slide show. They made sure to put the pictures in chorological order. So, that they could see Sidney's evolution so to speak. Duo really liked the assignment that was assigned to him. They started the slide show. The first few shots were Relena with her naturally hair color, but with different makeup. Those were considered rare shots of Sidney Marquette. Duo wasn't the only one to notice how beautiful her body was, however he was the only foolish enough to comment on it in the same room with Millardo and Heero.   
  
"I also have to say, I never noticed she had a body like that. Mother Nature was very kind to her. According to some of the fashion commentaries, the most distinctive feature she has are her legs. I'd have to agree with them on that one," commented Duo with a look of appraisal at the pictures. This earned him a glare from Millardo. But, this time, Heero was truly speechless. Not quiet, but totally and utterly speechless.   
  
'She is doing what I never thought she would ever do. I never expected this. She's bold. It's like I never even knew her in the first place,' thought Heero while at the same time he betray no expression on his face.   
  
"I questioned the guy who first scouted Relena, Randy McCoy. He said that she was going to the height of her modeling career. But, she quit. Actually, she never bothered to renew her contract with the Beaumont Agency. You'll never guess where she was scout, and why she was there. She was one of the malls in British Columbia near the university. Relena was shopping for new clothes, apparently she outgrew the ones she was wearing. Relena shot up a good five inches more after she left," informed Quatre.  
  
"Wait, that woman's as tall as me!" exclaimed Wufei.  
  
"My sister was one of the most photographed women in the world," said Millardo in disbelief. He didn't think his baby sister was bold enough to do some of the shoots that she was required to do.  
  
"Why was she modeling in the first place? Whomever, Relena has become, she still strikes me as person who doesn't do things without a reason," this came from Noin. Noin always had good insight during the meetings.   
  
"That's where we come in," said Trowa, he and Wufei were the ones who went over to Excelsior to ask questions about Sidney Marquette. Wufei went with Trowa because he didn't want to work with the "loud" Duo. Heero worked by himself with his laptop.  
  
"Yes. Her major was medicine. Which according to the school expense records, it's the most expensive major. However, since she didn't start to model until after she was going to Excelsior they had no problem letting her do it. The counselor we talked to said that Sidney or Relena was running out of money. So, they allowed her to stay without kicking her out, most of the students don't work, but they have wealthy parents who pay for everything. Which means, the students are expected to be especially focused," said Wufei.  
  
"According to the guidance counselor, she said that Relena was the class valedictorian for several quarters, but there was hard competition. So, Relena in the end was the class salutatorian, but she was only beaten by a quarter of a point," reported Trowa.  
  
"Relena must have worked harder than anyone at that school. She did everything on her own," said Millardo in a soft voice. He was have the sinking feeling that his sister wasn't just fine, but that she didn't need him anymore. In fact, that she did better without any of them, then she ever did with them. He was seeing new dimensions in his baby sister that he didn't think possible. 'Maybe, I should stop calling her my "baby" sister,' he mused. She was definitely a woman now. If she didn't attract attention before, she was doing it now. This made Millardo have uncomfortable thoughts.   
  
"That does mean that she wouldn't have to renew the contract once she had graduated," said Sally.  
  
"What did you find out, Heero?" asked Lady Une.  
  
"I did some research about the Physician Fliers Program. Relena was recruited out of her school. It is a non-profit organization. Relena was especially recruited because she had the piloting skills that they needed also," said Heero.   
  
"Wait…did you just say piloting skills?" asked Quatre.  
  
"Yes, not anything we mobile suit pilots should be concerned about, but she has license to pilot small planes and helicopters," answered Heero, "Relena did her service in this order: South Africa, India, China, and Honduras."  
  
"According, to her school records, she can speak over half a dozen languages," said Quatre, "I think it would be very useful, if your traveling around the world like that."  
  
"There's also something else, the people at Beaumont said," added Duo quietly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to say it out loud.  
  
"What?" asked Millardo. Duo looked at Quatre who nodded at him. Duo gulped and decided he might as well say it now that he said something.  
  
"They said that Relena had to be heavily insured because of the fact that she kept doing dangerous thrill seeking actives. Which runs the gambit of swimming with the sharks to rock climbing," Duo winced waiting for some kind of reaction from Heero or Millardo or both.  
  
"Apparently, Relena has lost her mind," said Millardo. This would have been funny had he not been scowling. There was now a lot of tension in the air. Why was she putting her life in jeopardy needlessly?   
  
"What happens now? Should we go forward?" asked Quatre.  
  
"Of course. We have to," answered Heero.  
  
"I just had a thought. Relena has outsmarted us all," said Duo.  
  
There was nothing anyone could say to that.  
  
***  
  
Sidney decided that it was about time she took a vacation. She hadn't had really one since Spain the week prior to graduation. But, even that was a working vacation. She also wanted to get out of the D.C. area for awhile. Now when Sidney went on vacation, she usually ended up dragging Angie or Chris along with her. This time it wasn't any different. The three of them had decided to go to Prince Rupert Island to see Angie's folks. Chris invited Steve to come along. Since, the vacation was planned in short notice, Sidney and Chris decided that renting a plane would be the best idea. So, that meant that Sidney would be piloting.   
  
Sidney was packing the night before she left. She left that at the last moment because it gave her something to do since she couldn't sleep. She had hoped that her nightmares would stay away during the vacation. Sidney had a lot of planning to do, but she was the sort who could never do a thing while on vacation, even if she had planned for it. Either way she wanted to get away for awhile, before she had to face all of them. Especially Heero.   
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Regretting Nothing - Part 12

Regretting Nothing - Part 12  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. But, would like to have the money the original creator made.  
  
Author's Note: The time has come for Heero and the rest of the pilots to go forward. Sidney has decided to take a long over due vacation with her friends. Not to runaway again, but to be well rested to fight for her freedom and new life. There will be some fun stuff coming up because they will be observing her everyday life. The vacations she takes with her friends are like weird family vacations.  
  
Sidney, Chris, Angie, and Steve finally arrived at the airport near Prince Rupert Island, Canada. However, Angie was not happy. While, Sidney, Chris, and Steve were having fun. As they unloaded the luggage.  
  
"Sid, did you have to turn the plane like that? Have you lost your mind? What are you trying to do, kill me? I thought that I was going to be sick," asked Angie frantically. Sidney had decided to do some aerial tricks before they landed. Angie was by nature a very precautious person, therefore she was having fit.  
  
"Are you kidding, Angie? That was cool!" exclaimed Chris with a large grin on his face.  
  
"You are insane, Christopher Ryan!" shouted Angie.  
  
"It was like a rollercoster ride! Wasn't it, Steve?" asked Chris looking at Steve. Steve nodded empathically.   
  
"See. It wasn't that bad, Angie. You're still here safe and sound," Sidney said in a condescending tone.  
  
"You are by far the most reckless person I have ever meet, Sidney Marquette. You also are the most sadistic person I have ever meet." Angie said folding her arms over her chest. Steve and Chris burst out laughing. Arguments like these were typically, the things Angie said were never really meant.   
  
"Angie, I think you are making a big deal out of nothing," Chris said, which was big mistake.  
  
"Why do you always take her side?" asked Angie accusing tone.   
  
"I don't always take her side. I am just looking at this rationally. Honestly, you always overreact to everything, Angie," said Chris, his New York accent coming in stronger.  
  
"Now, now. You two. Stop fighting," said Sidney who was acting as referee between the two. She was standing between them, slightly waving her arms. Of course, failing to stop them.  
  
"Can't we take a vacation without having a fight?" asked Steve with his Louisiana twang.  
  
"NO!" all three of them said in unison.  
  
***  
  
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei arrived at Washington D.C., after making arrangements. The hotel that they were going to be using was the headquarters for their work. Heero was placed in charged by Lady Une. He would give the orders for everyone else to follow. The others didn't mind because Heero was the one who they suspected had the best chance of getting through to Relena.  
  
Heero found out through the hospital that Sidney Marquette had gone on vacation. She left without telling where she was going. They checked around for flights, but found that there weren't any tickets under her name. Duo suggested that since she was a pilot, perhaps she would rent a plane to fly. They found nothing. However, they had her address, so that meant that they could at least see where she lived.   
  
"We will set up surveillance on her. That is if she does come back," instructed Heero. That was the underlining fear. Maybe, Relena had gone one step ahead of them again. But, then again she was always one step ahead of them. This was true for the entire time.  
  
"All of us will be on rotation. We also have to set up cameras and sound equipment in Relena's apartment," said Heero in a cold voice. His eyes were devoid of emotion.   
  
"Wait? You mean you want us to put spy equipment in her apartment. Don't you think that's a little extreme?" asked Quatre, he had his eyebrow arched.   
  
"No." responded Heero.  
  
"But, that's an invasion of her privacy," insisted Quatre. It wasn't as if they were spying on an enemy. This was Relena. Their friend. At least, his friend. The rest of them didn't seem to have a problem with this. Heero gave Quatre an evil death glare. So, Quatre decided to drop it. Although, he still knew what they were doing was wrong.  
  
***  
  
Over the next few days, the Gundam pilots made more arrangements and focused on the task at hand. They found Relena's apartment in Georgetown. Heero, Quatre, and Duo were the ones who were going to go and break into her apartment.   
  
"Wow," whistled Duo when he saw Relena's silver Mercedes in the garage. "She's definitely a doctor all right."  
  
"Well, let's just put the cameras in here and get out," said Quatre. He wanted to do this a quickly as possible. He felt guilty enough already. He didn't want to compound his sin even more. There was just something wrong about this.  
  
"Let's look around first," said Heero.   
  
"Heero, don't you think it's enough that we put the cameras and the sound equipment," said Duo. Now, he was having reservations. He and Quatre looked at each other. Heero glared at both of them. So, both of them shrugged their shoulders and went along with him. They both knew better than to make Heero madder.   
  
They got into the inside. Duo noticed the training post in the living room.   
  
"I wonder why she would have this in her living room?" asked Duo.  
  
"To practice. What else do you think it's for?" said Heero with a smirk on his face.  
  
Quatre looked at the pictures in Relena's living room. He took note of the two people who were in all the pictures. There was young man who was quite tall with reddish-brown hair and deep blue eyes. He was very handsome, thought Quatre. As much as he hated to admit it, he seemed like the guy Relena could be with. There was a cute exotic girl who looked Asian but not quite. Quatre saw pictures of Relena, which were rare shots. Apparently, Relena didn't keep many pictures of herself in the apartment. There was a candid shot taken after a soccer game. Relena was obviously on the team and they had won some kind of championship against UCLA. There were shots taken at graduation. There are some shots of her in different locations. Different places around the world. From all indications, Relena was living a very different and exciting life from before. Quatre felt even guiltier.  
  
Heero was also looking at the pictures in the living room. These were different from the modeling pictures; these were taken during her regular life. He looked specifically at the two people who were almost always present. His eyes narrowed when he saw the guy in the picture with an arm around Relena giving her bunny ears. He didn't know what he was feeling. But, it was boiling in his stomach, and increasing his blood pressure. Heero was unconsciously clutching his jaw.   
  
Duo was watching Heero. He didn't like the fact that Heero was getting madder. Maybe, it was time to get to work. As much as he didn't want to it, he would rather do that, then watch Heero explode.   
  
They looked over her files. They found her diploma, and mentions of her being on the chancellor's and dean's lists. They also found the old test results from the standardized testing. Heero looked at the MCAT scores that she had earned. There were books on different subjects and languages. Mostly medical books, but she had classical literature in its original languages. Duo admired her taste in music. Relena had an diverse taste in music, so there were so many different kinds. He also liked her sound system, that Chris had installed for her. Heero noticed that she didn't have a computer, or she took that with her. They found the birth announcement of Lena Peacecraft's birth. Quatre opened the drawer with the prescriptions in it, since his sister was a doctor; he knew what most of the drugs were prescribed for. Quatre quickly shut the drawer. Since, Heero was the bedroom. Quatre had decided to not tell Heero about the prescriptions. He refused to allow Heero to make things worse. Heero was making him into a truly dishonest person. Quatre felt that he could talk to Relena later himself.   
  
Heero was in Relena's bedroom. It was strange for Heero. He never entered her bedroom until now. Not the bedroom in the Sank Kingdom or anywhere else.   
  
The bed was king sized and made. He walked over to the walk through closet, and decided to look in there. It was filled with some very nice clothes. He could smell her scent in the there. It was a sweet lingering scent. It was mixed in with the potpourri in the closet. Heero found different kinds of shoes. Her feet were still small even if she was tall, he noted. She had different shoes, but not too many. The last drawer he opened was her underwear drawer. Which he quickly rifled through. If anyone saw him, they would have thought that he was embarrassed. There was nothing in the closet.  
  
Heero went to the vanity table made of mahogany wood with a large mirror near the window. He found makeup, which consisted mostly of concealers. He thought that she must have preferred to wear a fresh natural look. Heero opened an antique jewelry box, given to her by Angie's parents as a graduation present, and found some thumb and toe rings. Interestingly, there weren't any earrings in the box; she must have had them with her. Heero recognized the belly ring in her jewelry box. It was the one used in some of the shots. The ones with bikinis or short tops. He noticed that Relena didn't have bikinis, but rather one pieces or tankinis. Her style was simple yet elegant. The apartment was a statement of her.  
  
There was the bathroom to look through. He found some facial cleaners. He also learned that she had liked a mint-scented shampoo. Heero looked at the different bubble bath soaps and shower soaps. He opened a drawer with some feminine products and quickly closed it. There couldn't possible be anything in there.   
  
He looked at the nightstand near the bed. It only had a lamp on it, and an old worn doll. It was just a stand, but it didn't have any drawers. Heero searched for more underneath the frame of the bed. Nothing. However, for some strange reason he felt closer to her more than he had ever been in the last five years.  
  
Duo searched the kitchen. Sadly, there was no food, thought Duo. He didn't find a lot in the way of appliances. He did however found a lot of numbers for takeout. He also went to the garage and found a box of sports equipment and her bicycle.   
  
"Hey, Quatre! She has boxing gloves!" shouted Duo. Duo looked through the box and found a soccer ball, jump rope, small dumbbells, and other things.   
  
Heero came out of the bedroom after he decided to place only one camera and sound piece in the vanity. Duo and Quatre had already finished and were waiting for him. He had taken the longest. They made everything the way it was again, and since all of them were wearing gloves there was no worry about fingerprints. Heero worried about the lack of security in Relena's apartment. Then, he had the sudden thought that she wouldn't need one if he didn't break into it. He quickly disregarded that thought. It was for her protection that he broke in.   



	13. Regretting Nothing - Part 13

Regretting Nothing - Part 13  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I like to torture the characters as if they were my own.  
  
Author's Note: There's not much to say from the last part. I do however would like to thank the people who have reviewed this story. Thank you so much.   
  
Sidney returned to Georgetown late in the evening before she had to go to work the next day. She wasn't aware of any changes in her apartment. She had new film rolls to develop, which she placed on the counter. Sidney would have to go shopping tomorrow, but that was okay, her shift didn't start until after two in the afternoon.  
  
Sidney thought back to her vacation with her friends. She was actually able to forget her problems for a while. However, now that she was back home, she was still thinking about them. There was mail to open, which she decided that she should busy herself with. There was nothing much just some bills and ads. She took the grocery store ad and placed next to the film on the counter.   
  
'What am I going to do now? I can't just wait for them to take everything that I have worked so hard for. Maybe, Dorothy didn't say anything. Oh God, who am I kidding? Of course, she told someone, we never really liked each other in the first place,' thought Sidney.  
  
She stomped her foot and sat down on the sofa. Sidney let out a sigh, and rubbed her head. She decided that maybe some sleep was indeed in order. So, she got back up again to go to the bedroom. When she got there she changed into a pair of pajamas and a tank top, and got some aspirin out of the medicine cabinet. She took off her makeup with some cleaner. Sidney took off her earrings and ring with care, and placed it in the jewelry box. Sidney gazed at her reflection in the mirror, and she let out a sigh. After that she went to bed in a dream less sleep.  
  
***  
  
Heero was watching all this back in the hotel room. Everyone else had gone to bed. He was watching her with such interest. This was the first time he had seen her in five years. There was something that made him feel funny inside. He had place the camera in the bedroom without much thought. Now, he had actually regretted it. Because she changed right in the bedroom, without going into the bathroom. He had a view of her beautiful body. It was graceful and delicate looking. She looked fragile, but she wasn't. He was watching without any emotion on his face. She was untouchable and ethereal. Her short honey blond locks shined in the light. Her eyes were clear, and one could almost see her soul in them.  
  
The vision that he thought about as he went to sleep with was the vision of her in front of her mirror just before she went to bed. He didn't think he was doing anything wrong. Perhaps, it because he never experience something like this before.  
  
Heero justified his behavior as it being his mission to find out where she was and to bring her back.   
  
***  
  
It was about six in the morning when she got up and to go for a run. She needed to work out her aggressions. So, she put on her warm ups and a sweater and went out for a run. She left the coffee maker on to make the coffee automatically.   
  
Heero had sort of slept in. So, the only people up for Relena's morning run was Wufei and Quatre. Both Wufei and Quatre had the good manners not to watch her dress.  
  
"I think we should cut the signal to that camera," commented Quatre.  
  
"I agree. There's just something wrong about having any cameras in her place at all. It's an injustice. Not to mention illegal," said Wufei.  
  
"You agreed with me!" said Quatre out loud.  
  
"Don't say that out loud. People will hear you," said Wufei.  
  
"But, why didn't you say anything? You guys made me look like I was wrong," exclaimed Quatre in a quieter voice.  
  
"Do you think you can reason with Heero? If you can't I don't think the whole group of us can," said Wufei.  
  
By this time, Heero had gotten up. So, they couldn't continue their conversation. Heero saw that Relena wasn't in view of any of the cameras.  
  
"Where is she?" asked Heero in a cold voice. Unlike, Wufei and Quatre, he was just wearing boxers. He wasn't even ready for the day. Heero didn't like the thought of waking up and already having her gone.  
  
"Um. She went out for a run, Heero. Relena should be right back," said Quatre, "Besides, she left the coffee maker running," he added.  
  
"I can't believe I forgot to put some of us outside of the apartment," said Heero. He wasn't use to making so many mistakes. He didn't think that she was the type to exercising in the mornings. Wufei gave him a look. But, Heero ignored it.  
  
Heero had decided that Wufei and Trowa would take the shift to observe her at the hospital. Quatre decided to call his sister to confirmed what he had found at Relena's apartment. Duo had to call Hilde and take care of business at the salvage yard. That meant that Heero would be alone. He decided to check out the two people who were in Relena's photographs. Especially, the man in the pictures.   
  
***  
  
Sidney made it to the ER at 1:45 pm. When she came in it was as busy as usually. She had plans to meet with Angie and Chris later that evening for dinner. Wufei and Trowa had positioned themselves to where they could see her. They decided to take the first shift because they were the quietest. Both of them wondered why Heero didn't take the first shift. However, they didn't question him.   
  
"There's a man in Exam Room Five, Dr. Marquette. He had a laceration on his right arm," said Nurse Carlisle.   
  
"Alright, I'll see him right now. Thanks, Andy," said Sid. Sid walked to the Exam Room Five. Ever since that night she saw Dorothy, she broke the practice that the ER had, and now took a glance at the name.   
  
"Hello, Mr. Larson," greeted Sidney, "My name is Dr. Marquette."  
  
"Hi Doc," greeted Mr. Larson. Mr. Larson was about in his mid to late thirties. He was lanky and had graying hair. However, he made Sidney uncomfortable. With good reason, through out the treatment, he had his hand on her thigh.   
  
"Thanks, Doc. Are you single?" asked Mr. Larson giving her a flirtatious smile.   
  
"Not for you, Mr. Larson," answered Sidney stripping off her gloves. She looked at his hand on her thigh.   
  
"By the way, if you don't get you hand off my thigh right now, I'll make it so that you have a real reason to be here," said Sidney with a sweet smile on her face. Mr. Larson immediately let go and she left the room.  
  
Wufei and Trowa were watching this the whole time. Wufei had a smirk on his face. Trowa looked like he was laughing on the inside. They didn't know if they would report this to Heero. They looked at each other. But, said nothing.  
  
***  
  
Quatre was talking to Iria, his sister, on the videophone. He had committed to memory the names of the drugs from Relena's prescriptions. He thought of asking Sally first, but he decided against that because Sally would be able to figure out that it was about Relena.  
  
"Hello, Iria. How are you?" greeted Quatre.  
  
"Hi Quatre! I am just fine. What about you?" asked Iria.  
  
"I am fine. Actually, I am working on a…a case, that requires some of your medical knowledge," said Quatre, "I was wondering if you could identify what these drugs are for."  
  
"Alright. Do you have the list?" asked Iria. Quatre read it off. Iria shook her head.  
  
"I don't know who the patient is. But judging by what you've just read, I would diagnose this person as having depression and insomnia," Iria said sadly, "I hope whomever they are you can help them, Quatre."  
  
"Thanks, Iria. I'll see you later," said Quatre signing off. He slumped back in his chair. 'How am I suppose to help, Relena? She obviously wouldn't want it,' thought Quatre.  
  
***  
  
Heero had a lot of information on Angela Hart and Christopher Ryan.  
  
He had learned that Angela Hart was a doctor at Saving Grace. She was in the same place with Relena. So, Heero decided to put off questioning her. He didn't want to send anyone else to do. He felt as if it was something he had to do.  
  
Christopher Ryan was a partner in Bailey & Ryan Limited. A company that was also based out of Washington D.C. The truth was there wasn't a really clear reason as to what the company really did. Both graduated from the same school and the same class as Relena. Old college friends. Angela Hart was Relena's roommate. Christopher Ryan was her competition in the school. He was the valedictorian.   
  
Heero found out that Christopher Ryan had a degree in Business and Electrical Engineering. He also found out that Christopher Ryan had a fourth degree black belt in two different forms of martial arts. Heero had their pictures on file. Christopher Ryan was one inch taller than him. For some reason, he didn't know why that bothered him  
  
Either way he would go to Bailey & Ryan Ltd. He would find out more about Christopher Ryan.   



	14. Regretting Nothing - Part 14

Regretting Nothing - Part 14  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I do own the story.  
  
Author's Note: Heero is proceeding slowly with the investigation. He doesn't want to scare her into hiding or to lose her again. Sidney Marquette, formally Relena Darlian Peacecraft, is well aware of the fact that she may have been caught. There is more of a look into the daily life of Sidney Marquette. Remember, the Gundam pilots are now spying on her. Don't you think that's wrong?  
  
Heero Yuy arrived at the front office of Bailey & Ryan Ltd. He had an appointment to meet Steven Bailey. However, Heero was more interested in meeting Christopher Ryan. Heero came down to the offices under the cover of hiring the Bailey & Ryan Ltd. He knew they did security, but the corporate offices didn't show what kind they did. Their company revenues were higher than most companies of its caliber. Heero had suspicions that the company had more going on than it really did.   
  
"Hello, how may I help you?" said the secretary at the front desk.  
  
"I am here to see Mr. Bailey. I have an appointment. My name is Heero Yuy,"   
  
"Ah. Yes. Mr. Bailey will meet you in the conference room, Mr. Yuy. It's straight down the hall, the last door to your left."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Heero walked down the hall purposefully. He was dressed in a suit for this meeting. He had his regular trench coat over it. When he got to the conference room the door slide open. There was a man with brown hair and brown eyes. He had taken off his coat and rolled up his sleeves. This was Steven Bailey.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Yuy. How are you today?"  
  
"Fine."   
  
"I must say we don't usually get government contracts. To have a job from the Preventers would be interesting."  
  
"I would like to know what your company specifically does, Mr. Bailey."  
  
"I guess we don't advertise that much. We are company that does corporate espionage. My partner does the actually work so to speak. I am the company front man. The face of the company. I line up the clients, and deal with them face to face."  
  
"You are spies."  
  
"I wouldn't say that. We get called in from the outside to investigate cases. Some of the work involves spying, but not all of it. Spy is such derogatory term, Mr. Yuy."  
  
"Can I meet your partner?"  
  
"We normally don't allow for that, Mr. Yuy. Since he's the one that does the undercover work, he normally doesn't meet the client."  
  
"If the Preventers are to hire you, then we need to get a full security check, Mr. Bailey."   
  
"They must do things different in the government. Alright, I'll have to check with my partner, Christopher Ryan," said Steve giving in.  
  
Heero said nothing and waited for Steve to call Chris. Soon, he and Steve were walking down a corridor. There was a tech lab that required a security badge, retinal scan, and thumbprint to open the door. The lab was sterilized like a hospital; there were workstations. It was specially designed under Chris' specifications.   
  
Heero saw him. He was wearing jeans and long sleeved shirt. He didn't look like a businessman. Christopher Ryan looked like someone who wasn't at work. Heero remained expressionless.   
  
"Heero Yuy. Meet Christopher Ryan. Chris, this is Heero Yuy from the Preventers," introduced Steve. Chris held out his hand and Heero took it. Both of them had a firm grip.   
  
"Hello, Mr. Yuy. I must say it is a honor to meet one of the Gundam pilots," said Chris. Heero gave him a glare.  
  
"I wanted to meet you. We at the Preventers offices were wondering about your company."  
  
"What do you have a mole?"  
  
"Nothing like that. We just like to know about things. Your company has become very sought after, Mr. Ryan."  
  
"Oh. Well, would you like a tour of the lab?" asked Chris.  
  
"I have to go back. Remember, about tonight, Chris," said Steve.  
  
"Don't worry, Steve. I'll get there in time. I'll be having dinner with Sid and Angie, but I'll get there," said Chris. With that Steve left the room. Heero heard Sid's name and perked up slightly. Chris gave him a tour of the lab. Heero at the end of the tour was looking at the office in the lab. It was different from his; it had personal things on it. Heero's attention was drawn to the bulletin board near Chris' door. It had some candid shots of Relena and Angela. There was a recent shot of Relena at the corner of the board. Chris received a call from Steve.   
  
"Sorry, I'll be back, Mr. Yuy. I have to go see if I have something in the lab," said Chris excusing himself. Heero looked at that picture of Relena. He didn't know what came over him. He took the picture off the board, and left the lab and offices discreetly.   
  
***  
  
Heero decides that tonight would be his turn to watch Relena. Duo agreed to take the shift with him. Sidney came to the outdoor café for dinner straight from her shift at the hospital. She was still wearing her blue scrubs, but on her it looked like a high fashion statement. Angie was going to show up later, but Chris was already there. Chris and Sidney hugged and kissed each other on the cheeks. Heero's jaw clutched. Duo was aware of it, but said nothing.   
  
"Hi, Sid. How's life at the ER?" said Chris.  
  
"You know. All fun and games," said Sidney smiling at Chris.  
  
Chris was fiddling with his napkin. Whenever he fiddled with something, which meant he had something on his mind. They had ordered ahead for Angie, but were still waiting for their food. She was worried about Chris and his fidgeting. Maybe, it was work. But, since it he made it a point to never talk about the office, she didn't know whether or not to ask. So, she asked still out of concern.  
  
"What's wrong, Chris?" asked Sidney. Chris looked at her and groaned. He was shaking his head. Sidney's eyes widen with even more concern.  
  
"I feel so guilty. So very guilty. I cheated!" said Chris loudly.  
  
"What did you cheat on, Chris? It can't be that bad," said Sidney in a reassuring tone, "What is it? Can I help you?"  
  
"I have to make a confession, Sid. It's the only way I am going to feel better. Do you remember when you went to Spain with Angie?" asked Chris. Sidney nodded.  
  
"Well, while you were away…I hacked into the Excelsior system, and I changed my grade. I gave myself a quarter of a point higher. I am so sorry. We were suppose to be co-valedictorians! Sidney? Are you alright?" asked Chris because she was just sitting there without an expression on her face. Sidney looked at him, her eyes were burning. She looked about ready to kill him.   
  
"I am going to seriously hurt you, Christopher Ryan," Sidney said in a loud voice, "How could you do it?!"  
  
"I don't know it's a guy thing," said Chris weakly.  
  
"How big is your ego? My God! What the hell is wrong with you?! What you didn't want to share? You are a horrible best friend. I need a new one. You are a liar."  
  
"Now, now. There's no reason for you to be so upset. You were the one who kept saying that grades and rank don't matter."  
  
"That is not the point! You lied!" Sidney glared at him. Chris looked like he was going to bolt at any second. Just then, Angie showed up.   
  
"Hey, I so sorry that I am late. Traffic was horrible. What's wrong?" asked Angie when she noticed that Chris looked scared and that Sidney was giving the look of death.  
  
"You'll never guess what dear, Chris, just confessed," said Sidney with a sarcastic voice.  
  
"What?"  
  
"He hacked into Excelsior's computers and changed his grades. He made himself valedictorian all by himself. Because he didn't want to share," said Sidney with anger in her voice. She had her arms folded over her chest.  
  
  
  
"Oh, my God! How could you do that to your best friend, Chris?" asked Angie looking at Chris in disbelief.   
  
"I have no idea. I have a problem. I am an overachiever," said Chris.  
  
"Well, that still doesn't mean you can just do that….wait, a minute…if Sidney was suppose to be class valedictorian, then I was suppose to be the salutatorian!" Angie said with the realization sinking in. Chris had to get out of there fast. It was a good thing Steve had paged him just then.  
  
"Well…it's Steve. Gotta go. Bye!" Chris exclaimed as he got up. He got up and jumped the fence and took off running.  
  
"Come back here, you jack ass!" yelled Angie. She didn't care about it being in public. Sidney was more restrained.  
  
"We'll get him later, Angie. Don't you worry," said Sidney as she ran her fingers through her hair. Their food finally arriving.   
  
***  
  
Heero and Duo saw all of this. Duo was cracking up. Duo really liked Chris for because he was thought that he was a lot like him. Heero had a slight smirk on his face. He never saw Relena have that kind of reaction before.   
  
"Angie, we have to do something about him. But, we shouldn't report it to Excelsior. Besides, it's in the past. He still needs to pay for it," said Sidney.   
  
"I agree. But, what?" asked Angie.  
  
"Give me some time. I'll come up with something, Angie," promised Sidney. She looked around and noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Heero. She would know him anywhere. Sidney had to get up and leave without making such a big fuss. She was careful not to turn around.   
  
"Gee. You know what, Angie. Would you mind if I go home? I am just beat. I had a hard day," lied Sidney licking her lips.   
  
"That's alright. I've lost my appetite. God damn, Chris," said Angie. Angie gave Sidney a wry smile. Sidney tried to smile back, but couldn't. They walked back to their cars, and they went their separate ways. Heero and Duo went back to the hotel so that Heero could watch Relena through the cameras.   



	15. Regretting Nothing - Part 15

Regretting Nothing - Part 15  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Nor do I have lawyer. Please don't sue.  
  
Author's Note: Heero and Sidney are about to go head to head. Heero checked out Chris. What are those strange unknown feelings he's having against the guy? Will Angie and Sid hurt Chris before Heero? But, remember they're his best friends…they shouldn't hurt him that much? J  
  
Sidney came back to her apartment. She was good and mad. 'Damn, Heero. For interfering in my life. Who the hell does he think he is? He doesn't even know me,' thought Sidney. It was nice to finally know if Dorothy had said anything, but now she had bigger problem. It was so frustrating. Sidney felt like she was going to scream. She began pacing in her living room. For now, Sidney was aware of the fact that she was being spied. At least in public, she would have never suspect that Heero would go as far as to put bugs and cameras in her apartment. Her private place. Sidney felt that if she started screaming the whole neighborhood might hear her. Besides, there was no way of knowing if there was a car outside with the Preventers in it. Sidney's eyes widen in alarm. She quickly ran and slammed all the windows shut, and closed all the curtains. The cameras that Heero had installed were well hidden. The only way to find them was by chance.  
  
To work off her aggressions she decided it was time to use the good old training post in her living room. She punched it and kicked it for over an hour. Finally, she just felt exhausted and decided it was time for a shower and for bed.   
  
***  
  
Heero and everyone else were watching this. Duo was wincing through out Relena's practice on the training post. Quatre was startled to find that she had some defense skills. Wufei was busy watching, so that he could figure out what level she was at. Trowa was watching with a blank expression on his face. Heero looked with interested.  
  
"I think that Chris guy has really gotten to her," assumed Duo.  
  
"Some best friend, how could he steal not share the spot with her," said Quatre. Duo had told the rest of them everything that had happened. While Duo thought it was funny, they thought it was disturbing.  
  
"Such injustice," echoed Wufei. Trowa said nothing.  
  
"I knew that there was something wrong with that guy," said Heero quietly. This came as a shock to the rest of them. He never said things like that about someone who never did anything personally wrong to him.  
  
***  
  
It was around one in the morning when Sidney had that nightmare. She was tossing and turning. Her breathing was rapid. Her heart felt like it was going to come out of her chest. Sidney woke up without getting completely up from the bed. This was one of the rare occasions where Sidney didn't scream.   
  
Everyone at the hotel had gone to be, except for Quatre. He saw the torment on her features as she slept. Quatre frowned, but remained quiet. Perhaps, he would tell Heero. 'I don't know if I should. I don't know if he really cares about her or the mission. It's hard to tell after five years,' thought Quatre. He decided to go bed.  
  
Sidney was still awake when Quatre decided to go to sleep. But, she never wanted to go back to sleep after a nightmare. So, she made herself a cup of coffee, and stayed awake until dawn on the living room sofa in front of a window. Since she didn't open the curtain she never knew when dawn came, but somehow knew that it was time for her morning run.  
  
Quatre and Trowa were already waiting outside in an unmarked car. But, unlike when Heero went was watching her, they didn't follow her during her run. They decided to wait until she came back.  
  
"I honestly think that Heero's gone too far this time," said Trowa quietly.  
  
"I don't think you should blame him. It's his mission," said Quatre. Quatre now agreed with Heero that Relena should be under surveillance for her own healthy and safety. Quatre was more worried about her now, but he still didn't tell anyone. They had invade her privacy, so Quatre would have to use a lot of tact if he wanted to talk to her. Maybe, set up a chance meeting like Dorothy. Of course, Dorothy's meeting wasn't by chance. But, something like that. Although, he wouldn't be hurting himself to see her at the emergency room.  
  
"You disagreed with him before. You were the only one who said anything about the cameras being a bad thing to do," said Trowa looking at Quatre. Quatre was in the driver's seat. He had his hands on the steering wheel. Quatre let out a sigh.  
  
"Let's just say I had a change of heart," said Quatre in an exasperated tone. Trowa was by far the most observant of all the Gundam pilots. He could see through Quatre, but decided not to press him. However, Trowa let in the last words of the conversation.  
  
"I think Heero has gone too far this time. Even for him," said Trowa.  
  
***  
  
Sidney was at the hospital at ten in the morning. At around five in the afternoon she received a call from Chris. She had completely forgotten that she was mad at him. Chris had something important to tell her, so he called from his lab.  
  
"Sidney, there was something strange that happened at work in the lab," said Chris.  
  
"What is it?" asked Sidney who was still a little sore at him, but she was always willing to listen to him.  
  
"Maybe, I should start from the beginning. Yesterday, we actually allowed a potential client down the lab."  
  
"I thought that you didn't do that."  
  
"Normally we don't, but it was for a government agency. Anyway, I was near my office door to open it, and I found a picture of you missing off my bulletin board. Someone had lifted it off. It can't be me. Or the cleaning crew because they don't clean my office. I do. Steve wouldn't do it; he already has some pictures of you. So, I think the client that came did it. I was suppose to check if I had the ropes that I needed for last night's climb I did for a case. So, I decided to playback the cameras, and he did it," said Chris.   
  
He didn't reveal the name of the client, but Sidney knew who it was. Heero. She was sure of it. He must have found out about Chris and Angie. 'Damn him. He can mess with me, but not my friends. It's time to draw the line,' she thought angrily and protectively.  
  
"Sidney? Are you okay?" asked Chris whose eyes were filled with concern. She was quiet but had no really expression on her face. "Are you still mad at me?"  
  
"Not really, but just disappointed. Angie's probably still mad. You will pay for it. You know that."  
  
"For the rest of my life, I swear," said Chris solemnly with a flicker of humor in his eyes. This time Sidney couldn't help but smile. Chris always managed to get her to smile. He always made her feel better, but she still couldn't tell him about her past.  
  
"As it stands, you have a fan, Sidney," said Chris playfully, "Do you want me to tell you the name? I'll break practice this time just for you."  
  
"That's all right. It's not like I don't have fans from the past," said Sidney mysteriously.  
  
"Well, I have to go. I have to go to back to work. Although, I am my own supervisor. I think it's time. Bye."  
  
"Wait, Chris do you want to come over to my place for dinner? I'll try to see if I can get Angie."  
  
"I guess so…that depends are you cooking? Because I can only come if you're ordering take out."  
  
"Fine. I'll order takeout. I am so sorry, but no one's perfect. I won't try to subject you to my cooking. Bye, Chris."  
  
***  
  
Heero was the one who was watching her during a shift by himself. The rest of the Gundam pilots claimed they had something to do. In truth, all of them had some slight misgivings about Heero's need to continually watch her. Especially since she was doing nothing wrong.  
  
Heero followed her when she got off work around seven. She went home, but she had messages on her machine that said that both Angie and Chris would be around at eight. So, she decided to go for a walk. She walked to the park nearby in her neighborhood. Heero followed her carefully concealing himself in the shadows. Sidney sat down on the park bench, and let out a sigh. She knew that she was being followed. So, there was no point to putting this off now.  
  
"Heero. I know that you're there. You can come out now," said Sidney looking straight ahead at nothing in particular. Heero decided that it was best to comply with her. She knew he was there. When he came out, she looked at him.  
  
"What no gun and death threat? Isn't that our standard greeting, Heero?" asked Sidney in a sarcastic voice.   
  
"Hello, Relena. It's been a while," said Heero with a slight smirk on his face.  
  
"Not long enough. Why are you here?" asked Sidney in a suspicious tone.  
  
"To find you. You really pulled a fast one," answered Heero. He was trying very hard not to glare at her.   
  
"Well, now that you've found me, let me make one thing clear to you. I am not going back."  
  
"But, Relena…"  
  
"Don't call me that!" Sidney interrupted him in a snap. She glared at him. "My name is Sidney Marquette. That's Dr. Marquette to you!" she said in a loud voice.  
  
"Why did you leave?" asked Heero in a quiet voice "Is it because of me?"  
  
"Oh, don't you dare flatter yourself, Heero Yuy," Sidney said in a cold, angry voice, "You can go to Hell for all I care." With that she stalked off. Leaving Heero slightly stunned.  



	16. Regretting Nothing - Part 16

Regretting Nothing - Part 16  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing. You can't sue me even if you are the creator because I have already said that I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
Author's Note: Ah, isn't love grand? Nothing shows true loving like stalking. At least, in Relena and Heero's relationship. Wait…they don't have one. As I have said before I wouldn't make it easy for him, not that I am verifying or denying that they will be together at the end. Do you really blame her? Not that I am making Heero is worse or out of character, everything he is doing is within his character. You just have to think about. It is his mission. Remember, he was given strict orders to observe Relena and perhaps even bring her back. He's just doing an "excellent" job doing it. Also, if you notice I go into a lot of Chris and Angie some for comic relief, but to show their importance to Relena and the story.  
  
Angie and Chris arrived at Sidney's apartment at about the same time, after eight. They found that she had just taken a shower and was dressed in sweats and a tee shirt. It looked like she had just worked out. Her pixie short blond hair was damp, but almost dry. Chris and Angie were arguing as they were coming into Sidney apartment. All she could do was shake her head and smile.  
  
"You are the worst bloke in the world!" cried Angie from behind the door. Chris pressed the doorbell. "It's open!" said Sid. When the door opened Angie and Chris were fighting to see who would get in first, Chris managed to get in before Angie.  
  
"Hey, I thought you were a gentleman!" shouted Angie.  
  
"I am when a lady is present," teased Chris. Angie glared at him. He laughed. Angie was obviously still mad at him. Chris took it in stride. He knew that Angie would forgive him eventually. Sidney smiled, she was careful not to laugh because Angie was obviously very agitated. She loved spending time with them. Her smiles and laughter were always genuine. Sidney never thought it could be fun to watch two people argue, but she knew was the way they showed affection for each other.  
  
"I ordered the food a little late. I just got out of the shower, sorry," said Sid.  
  
"Good. What did you end up ordering?" asked Angie.  
  
"Chinese," answered Sidney.  
  
"Thank God. I thought you might try to cook something again!" exclaimed Chris. Angie started laughing.  
  
"I don't make fun of your handicaps, Chris. Mr. I cheat because I need to gratify my ego…or Mr. I can't learn a language as simple as Spanish or any other language for that matter," said Sidney defensively.  
  
"But, at least Chris can't hurt anyone physically with his faults," reminded Angie. She was smiling.  
  
"Yes. Isn't it amazing, Angie? Doll Face, here can get an entire chemistry experiment perfect and get a good grade for it, but she can't cook a decent meal!" exclaimed Chris. Both Angie and Chris burst out laughing.  
  
"Don't call me, Doll Face. I mean it, Chris," said Sidney annoyed. It was Chris' term of affection for her. The doorbell rang again. The food had arrived. So, they all settled down at the small circular dining room table. Angie always recommended this restaurant's takeout because it reminded her of her mother's cooking. Chris loved Chinese food. While they had the meal a conversation began around the table about their love lives. Sidney had a nonexistent one for obvious reasons because she didn't want anyone to get too close to her. Besides, having a relationship required being honest, which was something she couldn't be. Angie had a semi permanent boyfriend who was one of the doctors who also worked at the hospital. Chris…well, Chris needed help.  
  
"I just told her I was going to meet you guys later. I have no idea why she got so mad," said Chris saying what happened in last disaster of a date.  
  
"What were your exact words, Chris?" said Sidney putting down her chopsticks as she was analyzing the situation. Angie had given up. As far as she was concerned, Chris was hopeless with women.  
  
"All I said was that I would be meeting my girlfriends later," said Chris innocently. He was total clueless. Angie nearly choked on her almond gelatin. Sidney groaned and rubbed her head.   
  
"Do you know that makes you sound like a player, Chris?" asked Sidney. Angie hit him upside his head.   
  
"Ow! Stop that, Angie! I didn't think about that way. Is it my fault you two are my closest buddies, and are girls? That was the proper term," said Chris.  
  
"Do you ever hear yourself when you speak, Chris?" asked Sidney was still rubbing her head.   
  
"Sometimes," said Chris who was still looking innocent and cute. Sidney and Angela felt like banging their heads on the table, rather than try to reason with him.   
  
***  
The pilots were at the hotel watching this like a TV show. Heero said nothing about meeting Relena earlier. He didn't want to. All of the others knew that Heero was suppose to be keeping an eye on her, but he didn't report anything. Duo and Quatre were actually finding the situation quite amusing. Even Wufei and Trowa had smirks on their faces. Heero remained expressionless.  
  
"This is funny," said Duo laughing, "I like Chris. You know what, Relena's developed a personality and a sense of humor."   
  
"Yes. Beauty and Brains. That's quite a combination," observed Quatre.  
  
"I think it's strange for a man to have two women as he's closest friend,' commented Wufei.  
  
"I think they are his friends to keep him out of trouble," remarked Trowa.  
  
Heero said nothing throughout this. Instead he was watching Relena. She was happy and comfortable in her new life.   
  
***  
  
Heero had to report back to Lady Une. Milliardo was waiting to be informed of the Gundam pilot's progress. Milliardo was busy with Lena in the living room. He was reading a story to her, and she was sitting in her father's lap. Lucrezia came into the room. "There's a call for you, Milliardo. It's from the Preventers. Lady Une," she said. Milliardo got up and put Lena on the ground. Lena made a slight whimper.  
  
"It's alright, sweetie. Daddy will be right back," reassured Noin.   
  
"I'll finish the story when I come back, Lena," promised Milliardo as he left the room. He got to the videophone.   
  
"What's going on with the investigation, Lady Une?" he immediately asked without any greeting.  
  
"Quatre reported that they only have her under surveillance. There's nothing really to report. Relena is just doing what any normal person does. It is her, but they say she's had a lot of changes. But, we already knew that. Maybe, now would be the time to approach her," said Lady Une.  
  
"Find out where she'll be tomorrow at six in the evening," instructed Milliardo, closing the channel.  
  
"So, they found her," said Noin, "You're going down there aren't you, Milliardo? Be careful when you approach her. Watch you words, Milliardo. You have to do that if you don't want to lose her again."  
  
"Don't worry. I know how to handle my own sister, my love," said Milliardo.  
  
"Daddy!" cried Lena. Milliardo went back to Lena to finish the story.  
  
'I hope so,' thought Noin.   



	17. Regretting Nothing - Part 17

Regretting Nothing - Part 17  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I don't own a lot of things. My most expensive possessions are my computer and my textbooks. So, that shows you how much I am worth.  
  
Author's Note: Milliardo back in the story. Sidney had dinner with her best friends the night before. Don't think Chris is stupid. After all, he did hack into the school's computers, and he's a partner in one of the wealthiest companies out of D.C. He's just inept with it comes to women. Heero is sort of sore from his last encounter with Relena. Although, he's not sure as to why. Maybe, he's as inept with women as much as Chris is.  
  
Milliardo was scheduled to arrived later that afternoon. Lady Une gave orders to tell him where Relena would be at six. According to the schedule at the hospital, Relena would there to work her nightshift. Heero made it a point to cut the signal to the camera and sound system in Relena's room. The rest of the Gundam pilots thought that was a good idea. They all decided not to tell Milliardo about the camera because it was either him or Heero. It was probably better that Milliardo didn't know about the camera. All the other cameras were left operational. Quatre was looking at Duo, Trowa, and Wufei. He was shaking his head in disgust. 'Her own brother! They are just like the same person. Heero and Milliardo,' thought Quatre. The others silently agreed with him. They agreed that the cameras were extreme things.   
  
"So, my sister will be at Saving Grace tonight, Yuy?" checked Milliardo.  
  
"Yes, Zechs."  
  
"Was there anything that wasn't in documented in your report?" asked Milliardo suspiciously. He knew Yuy had something up his sleeves. He didn't report meeting with her or meeting with Christopher Ryan. He did provide background information, but nothing more than that. After, Milliardo checked into the hotel, he left for Saving Grace.  
  
***  
  
Milliardo came into the ER. It was a hotbed of activity. Milliardo looked at his watch it was only five. An hour before he had plan to see Relena. But, she was already there; her shift had started at four. He tried to stay out of sight, but the guy who was on front desk duty saw him.   
  
"Mister…are you sure you don't need any help. Hey…you're Milliardo Peacecraft," said the front desk guy.   
  
"I am waiting for someone. But, I am a little earlier," said Milliardo Peacecraft.  
  
"Who is it one of the doctors on staff here, Mr. Peacecraft? Because I can help you," he said eagerly.  
  
"I am here to see, Dr. Sidney Marquette," replied Milliardo.  
  
"Wow. First, Lady Une now you, Mr. Peacecraft. She is really popular with the Preventers. Are you looking for a doctor for your offices? Do you want me to page her for you?" said the front desk guy giving a friendly smile.  
  
"No, that won't be necessary. I'll just wait," after that he left the front desk. He decided to look around. Suddenly, an ambulance came with someone who had been had been shot. Just because it was peace didn't necessarily mean that there wasn't any crime. He was a police officer. He had lost a lot of blood. Sidney came running in.   
  
"BP is dropping, so is the pulse. He's not breathing except the tube now," said the EMT.  
  
"I'll take over from here," said Sidney. They wheeled him into the Exam Room Two and started to work on him.  
  
"The bullet has entered the aorta. It's cut the oxygen to the rest of the body," said Sidney. Her hands were covered with blood already. He was just losing too much blood. His vitals were dropping. Sidney injected something, but it didn't work. She couldn't stabilize him.   
  
"Get the paddles in here, NOW!" ordered Sidney. The nurse brought the paddles to her. They were charged up and ready to be used.  
  
"Charge at 100. CLEAR!"  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Change it to 150. CLEAR!"  
  
Nothing.  
  
"200. CLEAR!"  
  
Nothing.  
  
She began to do chest compressions on him. Her hands were on his chest pressing down. There was no reaction. Now, the nurse's hand was on her wrist. The nurse looked at her.  
  
"It's over, Dr. Marquette," said Nurse Perez. Sidney let out a sigh.  
  
"Time of death: 17:20. Cause gunshot wound to the aorta. Where's the family?" asked Sidney. Sidney looked lost. She never had to do this before.  
  
"They are in the waiting area outside," said Nurse Perez who was watching Dr. Marquette with concern. Sidney left without saying anything. She moved slowly and took off the smock over the scrubs and the bloody gloves. Sidney removed the cover over her hair and went to wash her hands. She let out a sigh and went to go see the wife and the brother-in-law who were waiting for her.  
  
"Mrs. Davenport," called Sidney. The woman looked up at Sidney and the woman's brother held her hand.   
  
"Yes," she was shaking. Mrs. Davenport had a sad look of hope in her eyes.   
  
"I am sorry, but your husband didn't make it," said Sidney keeping her eyes steady on the woman.   
  
"OH MY GOD! NO! PLEASE NO!" cried Mrs. Davenport as she crumbled to the floor still clutching her brother's hand. There were tears streaming down her eyes. Sidney felt like she had just killed two people. She went on to explain the specifics of what happened, and the arrangements that should be made. But, neither was listening to her. Sidney felt like she had just lost her voice.  
  
Milliardo was watching this from a distance away. His sister looked like she was lost. There was a sad look in her eyes that she didn't betray on her face. He let out a sigh. He didn't like seeing her in pain. He decided to see her before six.  
  
***  
  
Sidney was now in the locker room. She had thrown her stethoscope into her locker. She felt like hitting something.   
  
'I am suppose to be the best. The best. I could have done more. I should have done more. What did I do wrong? Why couldn't I save him? What's wrong with me? I just couldn't save him. How could I not save him?' thought Sidney.  
  
She was sitting on the locker room bench. Her elbows were on her thighs and her breathing was rapid. Her face was buried in her hands. She was rocking back and forth. She was close to tears.  
  
This was the first time she had lost a patient. For all the times, she had come close to losing someone; she was still able to save them. She blamed herself for not being good enough. She was now shaking. She was cursing under her breath.  
  
There were footsteps that came into the locker room. Not wanting anyone to see her in the condition she was in, she sat up. But, she didn't turn her head.   
  
"Relena…"  
  
Milliardo. She thought. She sat up straighter. He walked up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off and got up. Sidney turned and glared at him. She was staring straight into the face of her brother. His ice blue eyes gazed into her slightly darker eyes. She folded her arms over her chest.  
  
"Relena, I'm sorry for what happened back there. You did everything you could," he said in a soft voice. Something in her broke.   
  
'Who the hell does he think he is? He's not a doctor,' thought Sidney. Her eyes darkened with anger. She knew that she was being illogically, but somewhere in her conscious she remembered that Milliardo was out to take her freedom.  
  
"What the Hell makes you think you know how I am feeling?!" she snapped.  
  
Milliardo was taken back by surprise. He had never seen his sister like this. She never talked to him like that before.   
  
"Relena, I was worried about you back there," said Milliardo not knowing what to tell her.  
  
"I will be just fine," she informed him in firm tone.  
  
"Relena, it's alright. You can come with me. I am sure they won't mind. Let's just talk," there was a touch of pleading in his voice.  
  
Sidney ignored it. She wanted him out of the locker room. She wanted him and everyone else out of her life.   
  
"What part of 'KEEP OUT: STAFF ONLY' don't you understand?" she asked. He ignored her question.  
  
"Come with me, Relena. Please," he said. He took a hold of her upper arm. His touch was soft as if he was afraid of scaring her. She shook his hand off her arm and pulled back from him.  
  
"What you people are doing is harassment," Sidney said, "I won't let you interfere in my life. Not anymore."  
  
"Relena, I am your older brother, I am concerned about you," said Milliardo. His feelings were mildly hurt by her reactions.  
  
"Concerned? My, I am truly surprised, Mr. Peacecraft," Sidney said in mocking tone, "I didn't know you cared."  
  
"But…I fought for you. How could you think that I don't care about you, Relena?" asked Milliardo as he looked in to her eyes.  
  
"You fought for me! You fought for yourself. You fought for revenge for the Sank Kingdom! Don't use me as an excuse for your past battles. Fighting to bring peace? That is an oxymoron! I can't believe that actually worked!" shouted Sidney. She didn't care who could hear her.   
  
"You cared about the Gundam pilots. They also did the same thing," said Milliardo.  
  
"I don't care. If I did I would have stayed," answered Sidney coldly. With that she tried to get past him. Milliardo blocked her way.  
  
"Let me do my job, Mr. Peacecraft," said Sidney in a dangerously cold voice, "Why don't you leave like you always do? Or can't you stand the fact that I am actually doing something good and noble. Something that you couldn't do when you ran away from your responsibilities."  
  
"What's that suppose to mean?" asked Milliardo. He couldn't understand what she was saying.   
  
"When you left, you left for blood. You became a solider. You took lives. I am a doctor. I save lives. You were trying to justify your actions by saying it was for peace. That is bull!"  
  
"Relena Peacecraft." Milliardo had just lost his patience.   
  
"Stop calling me that," said Sidney in a quiet cold voice, "You told me once to call you Zech Marquise. Well, I am asking you to call me Sidney Marquette. I never wanted the Peacecraft name. I didn't ask to be born. Especially not to that family. I can't even use my parents' name. Darlian. However, I have to get back to work."  
  
Milliardo just stood there looking at her. She turned and walked to the door. Sidney turned a little bit, and looked at him.  
  
"At least, this time you get to see me walk out."  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Regretting Nothing - Part 18

Regretting Nothing - Part 18  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I still own Christopher Ryan, Angela Hart, and Steve Bailey. I have created many more characters. They belong to me as well.  
  
Author's Note: Some might have thought that Sidney was being very bitter in the last part. However, there's no other way to reason with these people. I made it a point to write about a patient dying to prove that she is human, and that she can't save everyone. Sidney has to establish that she is going to stand her ground. Which I must say I am very proud of.  
  
Milliardo went back to the hotel. He went straight to his room. Relena had given him a lot to think about. He never thought of it that way. But, he thought about how hurt she looked when he wouldn't back off.  
  
'How can I back off? She's my baby sister. She needs me. It's her I have done so much for. She's all I have had for the longest time,' thought Milliardo. Then he thought of calling home to Paris. So, that he could say goodnight to Lena and Lucrezia. He wanted to give to Lena everything that he had lost. He had lost Relena, his parents, and the subjects of the Sanc Kingdom. Somehow he didn't think it would be so hard. Her parents. She considered the Darlians her parents. That's why she took their name when she became the Vice-Minister. She also wanted even then to remove herself from the Peacecrafts. Remove herself from him.  
  
***  
  
Heero was watching Relena's apartment waiting for her to come back from the hospital. He didn't know that Milliardo was back. He assumed that Milliardo had taken over surveillance of his sister when he went over to talk to her. Heero had hoped that Milliardo had some luck getting through to her. Heero had cut the picture that he had taken from Chris' office to fit his wallet. It was the only personal photograph he carried in his wallet. The rest were the photos on ID's. He kept it hidden in the folds of the wallet.   
  
Suddenly, Relena came into her apartment. Relena looked upset. Something had happened. She was shaking it was a mixture of grief and anger. Relena looked like she wanted to hit something. Anything. Heero never knew that she had a temper. Of course, considering her brother's temper he shouldn't be surprised. Relena never had a chance to really show her emotions. Just like him. Except she had to act happy and peace loving all the time. But, there were tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"I am sorry. I am sorry, Mr. Davenport. I am sorry, Mrs. Davenport. I am so sorry. I wasn't good enough to save you Mr. Davenport. You were such a good man. You protected people. OH GOD FORGIVE ME!" cried Relena. Heero watched as she went to bed without changing out of her scrubs. She just went to bed on top of the bedcover without any blankets on her.  
  
Heero watched until her tears stopped and her body stopped shaking. Something happened. It didn't have anything to do with them. Someone had died. Someone she didn't even know. A Mr. Davenport. Someone she didn't know the first name of. A person who protected people and was a good man.   
  
'A patient died tonight. But, why is she taking it so badly?' thought Heero. Now that she was asleep he could go to bed. So, he went to bed, wondering if she was cold without any blankets. And wondering why he cared at all.  
  
***  
  
The next morning all the pilots were having breakfast together. Milliardo wanted to do the surveillance that morning. He wanted to see the neighbor that Relena lived in himself. So, this meant that the Gundam pilots could say what they had been thinking of all this time.  
  
"I think it's wrong to continue doing this," said Wufei, "She isn't doing anything. Nothing."  
  
"I agree. Heero, you've gone far enough," said Trowa.  
  
"I don't know. I mean the cameras were wrong, but I think we should still keep an eye on her, " said Duo.  
  
"It's wrong. It's an injustice. I'll admit it. I didn't respect Relena before, but I do now. I used to think that she was some weak woman, but she's not. We should let her live her own life. If she wants to have contact with us, then fine. But, we shouldn't force it," said Wufei.  
  
"She can take of herself, Heero. Can't you see that?" said Trowa trying to be reasonable.  
  
"She's my friend. I want to be there to protect her," insisted Duo.  
  
Quatre didn't say anything. He was quietly stirring his tea. He knew what Wufei and Trowa were saying was true. She was entitled to live her life anyway she chose. But, he was worried about her mind. All of this was just making it worse.   
  
"I think we should keep an eye on her. I think we should cut the signals to the cameras and the bugs. Heero, but we should be a part of her life. Since, we saved it, it's our responsible of making sure that she stays safe."  
  
"Listen to me all of you. We will do what we have been doing all along. Until I feel we should do otherwise," Heero said in a cold voice. This was all he said in the meeting. He stood up and left. The rest of couldn't do anything about it.  
  
***  
  
Sidney had decided to go on a blind date. She normally didn't do it. She was feeling much better, after talking to Angie about Mr. Davenport. So, she decided to allow Angie to set her up. Sidney knew that she was being watched. 'Let's give them something to watch,' thought Sidney. She knew that somewhere either Heero or her brother was watching her. But, this was by far the worse set up that Angie has ever done to her. The guy, Robert, talked about nothing but his car. Sidney was bored out of her skull. For the shock value, Sidney was wearing a pair of two inch heels, making her height 5'11". Her hair was the same as always (there wasn't much to do anyway with its length) but it had jewel clips. She wore a short red wine colored dress with tiny straps to support it. It only came to her mid thigh. Her legs were dynamite that night. Heero and Quatre were doing the surveillance. Wufei and Trowa refused. And Duo decided to go with Wufei and Trowa because Quatre was going anyway. Milliardo didn't come either. But, it was enough that Heero was there.  
  
Robert was actually quite handsome looking. He had longish blond haired and brown eyes. But, he was vapid because he all talked about his damn car.  
  
"You see we couldn't go in my car because I don't know you that well. I couldn't risk it," said Robert.  
  
'I am going to kill, Angie. She will pay for this,' thought Sidney nodding. She had dealt with a lot of boring people before, so dealing with Robert wasn't a big deal.  
  
"You should see the detailing done to the grill. It is sweet,' said Robert smiling at her. Sidney suppressed a yawn. She took a big sip of her wine.   
  
'I wonder what would happen if I jab this fork in my eye right now. Maybe I could get out of this faster,' mused Sidney as she looked at her fork.   
  
However, Sidney did get a desired effect out of Heero. Heero was unaware that he was giving the death glare to Robert. Quatre saw, but he decided to say nothing. Heero cared about her, that's all Quatre needed to know.   
  
***  
  
Finally, Sidney got home to her apartment. 'Thank God, it's over,' thought Sidney as she kicked off her shoes and pick them up. She staggered into the bedroom. This time all the Gundam pilots were out. Wufei, Trowa, and Duo have decided not to watch the cameras anymore unless Heero or Zechs were there. Heero and Quatre got caught in traffic and couldn't get back into the hotel. So, they never saw the phone conversation. It was recorded, but they wouldn't see it until later. The videophone rang. Sidney answered it.  
  
"Angie…if it's you I am going to kill you…" started Sidney. But, it was Chris. He had a weird look on his face. "Oh, Chris. Hi! Let me tell you what Angie did to me. You know Robert. Well, he…"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" he interrupted. His eyes looked positively deadly.  
  
"What?" asked Sidney not knowing what he was talking about.  
  
"That you are Relena Darlian Peacecraft."  
  
  
  
  



	19. Regretting Nothing - Part 19

Regretting Nothing - Part 19  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. As I have said before.  
  
Author's Note: Sidney's life has gotten really uncomfortable in such a short while. They're a bit more to go (I haven't total finished yet, as of writing this). Hang in there. All will be revealed soon.  
  
"Chris. I…what can I say?" said Sidney. That's why he had a weird look on his face. It was a hurt look on his face.   
  
"Well?" asked Chris. He actually glared at her. He rarely did it, but he did.  
  
"Chris, I can explain everything I swear," pleaded Sidney.   
  
"Can you?" asked Chris. There was a mocking tone in his voice.   
  
"Just give me a chance. That's all I'm asking," she begged in a whisper.  
  
"Fine. I want to be fair about this," said Chris.  
  
"Look. They are watching me. We can't meet here. We have to meet somewhere else. Other than here. Angie, you, and I have to meet somewhere, where they can't be nearby," said in a whisper Sidney. Chris' eyes went up in alarm. 'Were they watching her right now?' thought Chris.  
  
"Alright, we'll meet tomorrow at my lab. Come there by ten," said Chris turning off the videophone. He didn't even say goodbye. Sidney didn't want to know if there was someone outside at that very moment watching her.   
  
***  
  
Chris' lab was probably the safest place to be in at this point. It was like a fortress. Even if, Heero had managed to get inside before. Chris was smart enough to put the security on rotating protocols. Angie and Sid arrive a little before ten. So, they were already in his office. He had turned off the camera and sound recorder there for the added privacy. Sidney was still nervous.   
  
"I have something to tell the both of you," said Sidney, " I thought that I wouldn't have to. But, my past has caught up with me."  
  
"What is it?" asked Angie. Chris motioned her to be quiet. Angie kept quiet.  
  
"I haven't been completely honest with you both. I had a different life before you knew me. I was someone else. I ran away from it all. I made a whole new life for myself. My name was originally Relena Darlian Peacecraft," Sidney said lowering her eyes. Chris had no expression on his face. Angie had a look of deep thought on her face.  
  
"So, that's why you look like someone I had seen before when I first meet you. But, I quickly dismissed my suspicions. Besides, you didn't act like her at all. I mean yourself," corrected Angie.  
  
"Wait, you had a feeling before. Why didn't you tell me?" asked Chris in exasperated tone.   
  
"Well, I didn't think about it by the time we meet. I had sort of forgotten it. Besides, by that time Sidney didn't look very much like Relena. Or herself? I am so confused," replied Angie who was rubbing her chin.  
  
"I don't believe this. Sidney - Relena whatever the hell your name happens to be! How could you lie to both of us for so long? We are your best friends!" said Chris in an angry voice, "Sure, I lied about the grades. But, that was only about grades. You are a liar. You lied. You lied about your whole life. Is it possible that our whole friendship was a lie? How long were you going to continuing lying to us, if I hadn't found out?"   
  
Sidney couldn't say anything to that because it was all true. All she did was wince at the words. Chris looked at her and his glared soften. He couldn't stand to see her hurt even for a minute. She was still his best friend after all.  
  
"How did you find out, Chris?" said Angie who wanted to cut the thick tension in the room.  
  
"Heero Yuy from the Preventers. An old acquaintance of our Sidney here came to this lab under the lie that he wanted to hire us. He stole a picture off the board over there," he gestured, "I found out from the security cameras. So, I called her and asked her. I got suspicious. Okay? But, that isn't as wrong as lying to us for five years."  
  
"Why did he take the picture?" asked Angie.  
  
"I have no idea. I think he was just here to check me out. He must have found out about the both of us, Angie," said Chris. He ran his fingers through is rich, thick hair.   
  
"It wasn't all a lie…" said Sidney in soft voice. She looked up at both of them, she had sat down after Chris started to talk about Heero. Both Chris and Angie focused their attention back to her.  
  
"I just couldn't say anything, Chris. All the friends I ever had before you two only liked me because of my name. It got to the point where the lie was too old. It was like quicksand. I wanted to tell you. I thought that I would lose you both. I thought that you wouldn't want to be my friends anymore," said Sidney in a sad, hopeless voice. The last part was only a whisper. That had been one of her underlying fears. Losing them. Losing the only friends she ever really had.  
  
"How could you believe that?" said Angie coming to Sidney's side, "After all, we've been through." Angie gave Sidney a hug. She kept holding her.   
  
"Why did you leave?" asked Chris, "Surely, being one of the most powerful people in the world must have meant something."  
  
Sidney looked at him. Angie and Chris looked at each other. Sidney realized that they would never truly understand. But, that meant she couldn't try to explain.  
  
"Because I felt like I was dying. I wasn't allowed to be me. I was doing what everyone else expected out of me. When I wasn't living up to my own expectations. There was too much pressure. Everyone expected me to handle everything. They thought that just because I could act like an adult, that I was an adult. I was a child. If the world had crumbled, it would have been my fault. Everyday I was just going through the motions. There was no feeling to it. I was numb. Everyday I felt a part of me was dying. My soul was being taken from me. There was always security around. It made me feel trapped. Suffocated. Then, my mother died. I felt like I had to get out of there before some form of cancer got to me. Not cancer like your cells attacking your body, but the kind of cancer that eats away at your soul," she finished her voice was barely above a whisper.   
  
"How did you get out of there?" asked Angie.   
  
"It must have been difficult. Considering how much security they would have around you," said Chris.  
  
"That was the beauty of it. The day my mother wrote about her cancer was the day I had gotten my test results. My test results gave me something I never had before. Brains. " said Sid with a smile on her face.  
  
"I have to tell you. No offense, but Relena Darlian never stroked me as highly intelligent. Average, maybe," said Chris.  
  
"None taken. Relena Darlian stopped existing a long time ago. You see how bad it was for me to even know about myself. And, there I was expected to know everything about the inner workings of peace," as Sidney said this she threw her arms into the air.  
  
"Well, are you going to continue?" asked Angie.  
  
"I took up the most interesting hobby in between meetings and speeches. I decided to design a computer virus. It took about six weeks to make the core of it, but it was worth it. I also forged documents and made a small nest egg. My mother and I had regular visits together. We talked about life and how it should be lived. My mother told me never to live a life with regret. Then, I realized that I was regretting everything, so I decided to make a new life of my own," said Sidney in a far off voice.  
  
"What does that have to do with a computer virus you programmed as a hobby?" asked Angie. Angie could work medical equipment, but when came to such things as the inner workings of a computer, she didn't know much.   
  
"Because of the fact that it could be used to buy her sometime, Angie. A virus that has to be programmed longer is better and more effective," answered Chris " I wouldn't want to unscramble a mess like that."  
  
"What will happen now, Sidney?" asked Angie. She didn't care that her original name was Relena. She was Sidney her friend.  
  
"I think they'll drag me back," answered Sidney in a sad voice.   
  
"But, that would be foolish. The world is at peace now. It has been for over five years. Not to insult you further, but Wei Robinson is doing a better job than you, Sidney," commented Chris.  
  
"I won't matter to them. I ran from my responsibilities. But, you see I was never really prepared for them. They just pushed me in and said 'Here do the job,'" said Sidney.  
  
"We can't let them just take her, Chris!" exclaimed Angie.  
  
"I still don't see why you don't want to go back," said Chris in a soft voice. He was analyzing the situation. This made him a good judge of character. And of life in general.   
  
"Because all they have to do is expose me. It's as simple as that, Chris. All they have to say is that I am Relena Darlian Peacecraft, and every thing I have worked for and earned on my own will be gone. It will be taken from me. Everything. My medical license. My diploma. My career. My life. No patient will trust me to treat them. I know I lied about my name, but I never lied about the person I became. They want to take who I am. They don't care that it will hurt me. They just want me back there to be the mindless pretty diplomat that I was before. It will also be a form of punishment for leaving my responsibilities behind. They think I can still do the job. But, I can't do it anymore. I grew to hate it. How can I do something I don't love? I love medicine. It means more than being a diplomat. When you're a diplomat you just talk about how to make things better for people, but you don't deal with real people. When you're a doctor, you get to actually see people get better. You're there when they need you," said Sidney.  
  
Chris realized another thing that made Sidney his best friend. Angie, too. They were compassionate people. They were passionate about what they did.   
  
"Alright, we have to fix this somehow," said Chris in an authoritative voice.   
  
"How?" said Sidney, "They'll find a way to take everything."  
  
"Why don't you just leave again? You've done it before. We'll help you, Sidney," offered Angie.  
  
"No," answered Sidney in a firm tone. She shook her head.  
  
"But, we'll help you get out of here," intoned Chris.  
  
"Don't you see that's what they'll expect out of me?" asked Sidney. She first looked Angie in the eye, and then Chris.   
  
"If you don't leave, then they'll drag you back. You'll lose who you are. We'll lose you, Sidney," said Angie. Her eyes looked sad.  
  
"I have to make my stand here. I won't standby and let them take what's mine. I have too much to lose now. I didn't have the strength to stand up on my own. Now, I do. And that's exactly what I intend," Sidney said in a very firm tone. Her eyes were light up with a fire. She looked downright defiant.   
  
"We'll help you. We are your family," said Angie. She looked at Chris. Chris nodded.   
  
"You said that they were watching you. That means that you can't go back to your apartment. Let me check something," said Chris as he sat down at the computer.  
  
"What are you checking, Chris?" asked Angie.  
  
"From my experience in this business, when someone is placed under surveillance they usually don't limit themselves to just spying outside, but they usually put in cameras. If there are any, they could have been put in at anytime, and you wouldn't know about it. Wait…there's a signal coming from her apartment. Yes, they put in cameras all right," announced Chris.   
  
"What? I should have known better. It's been so long since I've dealt with these people that I forgot what they were capable of. How could I have been so stupid?!" yelled Sidney. She ran her fingers through her hair. She was now mad. It didn't take much to see who did it. Heero. It was always Heero. Her eyes narrowed.   
  
Angie and Chris looked at her. They were sort of scared by her reaction. They knew that she was mad. They have seen her mad before. But, never like this.  
  
"Do you want me to cut the signal?" asked Chris in a timid voice. Sidney gave him a sharp glare. "All right then. I'll cut the signal. They will be able to detect it. But, I'll send another signal to intercept it at the same time. And find out if any of the Preventers are far from their source," said Chris. He typed some more. And when he was done. He looked up. He knew that the Preventers was a government agency and ran on a special signal that wouldn't be interrupted, and was for a more secured line. Chris took a perverted pleasure messing with a government agency. He enjoys such challenges.   
  
"That's it. The signal been cut and scrambled. They should be sending someone over there to see who tampered with the signal. I'll send a signal to intercept them. Then, I'll go and find the cameras and return them," said Chris.  
  
"If I were you I would take a sledge hammer to them," said Angie who was narrowing her eyes and had her arms folded over her chest.  
  
"No. I want to meet them all myself. For now, give me your keys, Sid. I'll go to your place. Here are my keys. Stay at my apartment for now. Angie drive her to my apartment. We'll just have to leave your car here in the parking garage. Take Angie's car. They don't know how it looks like," instructed Chris. He and Sidney traded keys. Sidney also took a disk out of her bag, and handed it to Chris.  
  
"What is it?" asked Chris looking at her.  
  
"Something that might be useful. Modify it any way you can. But, be careful with your own systems," said Sidney with a smile on her face.  
  
"Alright, but we have to work fast. I'll pick up your clothes. Do you want any kind of clothes in particular? Otherwise, I'll pick up the things on hand," asked Chris, and he inserted the disk into a computer that wasn't part of the office's network.  
  
"I don't care," said Sidney. She was mad. She was thinking about the invasion of her privacy.   
  
"We'll let's get going. We can't waste any more time," suggested Angie.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	20. Regretting Nothing - Part 20

Regretting Nothing - Part 20  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. I like to make up my fun stories with them.  
  
Author's Note: Chris has come up with a plan. Can he outsmart Heero and the rest of them? Duo is a stool pigeon, but can you really blame him. When you have to choose between furious big brother or your best friend, who would you choose?   
  
Chris went to Sidney's apartment after she and Angie went to his apartment. Chris decided to send messages on the Preventers line to distract them. He sent the message in the form: 'WE'VE FOUND HER. COME BACK TO BASE."  
  
He sent it on the open frequency. Duo and Wufei were headed for Sidney's apartment by Milliardo to see why the signal had broken so suddenly. But, on the way over there, they received the message.  
  
"What does it say?" asked Wufei who was driving. He would only go with Duo if he could drive. He claimed it was for his safety that he drove.  
  
"It says to go back to the hotel," said Duo.  
  
"That was fast," said Wufei as he turned the car to go back.  
  
Meanwhile Heero and Trowa were headed to Saving Grace Hospital to check if she was there. She wasn't scheduled, but there was possible an emergency that she was called in for. They have seen it several times. She was called in if there was enough time for a child to have surgery done by her. She was after all the best pediatric surgeon in the emergency room. They had already arrived, and Heero was in the process of getting out of the car when they received the message. Trowa looked at him, and Heero nodded. With that they drove back to the hotel.  
  
***  
  
Chris got to Sidney's apartment in plenty of time with the scanning device he found all the cameras easily. When he found the one in the vanity, he shook his head, and sighed.  
  
After that, he packed some clothes for Sidney. He also remembered to pack some toiletries, slippers, another pair of shoes, and make up. He put the cameras in the box, and locked her apartment. He decided to go to the hotel. It wasn't that hard to figure out where they went. All Chris had to do was hack into the Preventers' computers, and it was as simple as that.   
  
***  
  
"What do you mean we gave a signal for all of you to come back?!" barked Milliardo. He was absolutely livid. He was upset that his sister was nowhere to be found. Some might say even frantic.   
  
Everyone was back at the hotel as Chris had planned it. Milliardo and Quatre were there and had no idea about the message.   
  
"But, we got it on the way over there! Didn't we Wufei?" insisted Duo. Wufei nodded.  
  
"There was the message when we got to the hospital," said Trowa quietly.  
  
Heero was tracing where signals had come from.   
  
"There was an interruption on our frequency. I am attempting to pinpoint it, now," said Heero.  
  
Suddenly, he had hit the firewall that Chris had set up. Everyone was standing behind him. They saw his eyes narrow. He looked murderous.  
  
"Dammit," he growled in a quiet, cold voice. He started to attempt to break down the firewall. But, then a computer virus hit his laptop. His entire system was scrambled.  
  
"GOD DAMMIT!"  
  
In matter of minutes, his entire hard drive was wiped clean.  
  
***  
  
Chris had arrived at the hotel with their equipment. He went to the lobby and asked the woman at the front desk to contact Heero Yuy.  
  
"I know that there's a Mr. Yuy here. He's not expecting me, but tell him that Christopher Ryan is here to see him," said Chris. He was acting very charming that the woman couldn't help, but smile as she called the suite.  
  
"Mr. Yuy, there's a Mr. Christopher Ryan to see you," said the woman in a friendly voice.  
  
Heero looked at the videophone. He looked at the rest of them. He had almost forgotten about Christopher Ryan. Suddenly it made sense. Of course.  
  
"Send him up," ordered Heero.   
  
"Isn't Christopher Ryan one of Relena's friends?" asked Milliardo. He didn't pay much attention to the files on Angie and Chris. He was too focused on Relena.  
  
"Yes," said Quatre. An idea was sparked in his head, but he doesn't say anything.   
  
Chris showed up in a few minutes. He knocked on the door, and Trowa opened the door. Chris was dressed in black corduroys with a black jock shirt, and a leather jacket. Trowa gave him a gesture to welcome him inside. Most of them were sort of getting over the shock of him coming, and Heero was glaring at him. Milliardo was sizing him up. Quatre looked at him thoughtful.  
  
"Hi everyone! I brought back you equipment unharmed and undamaged as a form of professional courtesy," said Chris as he put the box down on a nearby table. Milliardo walked up to him. He offered his hand to Chris for handshake. Chris looked his hand and walked past him. He walked up to Heero instead. Heero looked at him. Since they were almost as the same height they were almost eye to eye.  
  
"What made you think I wouldn't figure out that there were cameras and bugs in Sid's apartment? Please give me some credit. Then again if you couldn't give Sidney any credit, why would I expect any from you, Yuy?" said Chris as he looked straight into Heero's eyes.  
  
"You were the one who sent the signal. You were the one who set up the firewall. And the virus that scrambled and wiped my laptop clean was yours," said Heero accusingly.  
  
"Actually, the virus was Sidney's. Didn't it seem familiar to you, Yuy? God, are you slow! I just put in the firewall knowing that you would unscramble it, so I left you a little surprise. Except this time I made sure the virus search and destroyed everything," informed Chris with a smirk on his face.  
  
Heero looked poised to attack Chris at any moment. Every one of the other Gundam pilots were ready to stop him. Chris looked very calm. Heero didn't have any emotion on his face, but his body was tense.  
  
"So, you know my sister," said Milliardo. Chris was built like him. They were the exact same height. Duo and Trowa were slightly taller than him, but Chris had a way of carrying himself taller.   
  
"Yes, she's my best friend," said Chris who had a smile on his face after he broke the staring contest he was having with Heero.  
  
"Best friend?" said Milliardo. He must have known Relena well to call himself that. Chris had a friendly outgoing nature that was very likable. Quatre had told him what he done earlier to Relena in regards to their grades. So, that's why Milliardo didn't expect the honorable and trustworthy man standing in front of him. He was something special if he was a member of Relena's very tight knit, very small group.  
  
"I guess we finally get to meet you, " said Duo who was smiling, "My name is Duo Maxwell. I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie."  
  
Chris let out a laugh at Duo's greeting and shook hands at him. Wufei didn't completely understand why they were getting along, 'Maybe, it's because they are both Americans. But, then again this guy's not as annoying or as loud as Duo,' thought Wufei.  
  
"My name is Quatre Raberba Winner," greeted Quatre who shook hands with Chris.  
  
"My name is Trowa Barton," said Trowa.  
  
"But, your real name is Triton Bloom," said Chris as he shook Trowa's hand.  
  
"I am Chang Wufei," announced Wufei. He shook hands with Chris, and noticed that Chris had a firm grip. Wufei figured that he was awful strong. Perhaps as strong as himself, Heero, or Trowa.  
  
"I know that you, Mr. Winner, are currently going to Cambridge for Business and Economics. I know that Mr. Chang is going to the University of Tokyo for Chinese Literature, with a minor in Chemistry…no Physics. I know that Mr. Barton's sister Catherine will be having a baby with her husband in about, oh, I'd say a few more weeks. Five tops. Mr. Maxwell, I know that your salvage company is about to expand, but you've kept the deal quiet from your fellow pilots. Oh, Mr. Yuy, I know that your last covert operation was in Australia. Mr. Peacecraft, I know that you are currently working with Vice-Minister Robinson to do further restoration to the Sanc Kingdom," said Chris, as if he was mentally naming a list off the top of his head.  
  
Everyone looked surprised. None of the knowledge that Chris had just revealed was supposed to be common knowledge to the public. Duo eyes had widen in surprised. No one knew about the deal to expand except the people who were going to invest for the expansion into the other colonies, not just L2. Not even Hilde. Milliardo was in talks with Vice-Minister Robinson, but only a dozen people knew about them at best. As for Heero, no one was suppose to know about any of his covert operations. Let alone where the last one was.  
  
"How did you find out?" asked Milliardo.  
  
"Didn't Yuy, give you my full resume? I guess he didn't say that I work corporate espionage," said Chris with a smug look on his face.  
  
"Why did you find out all this information about us?" asked Duo.  
  
"When one wants to defeat an opponent one must know them. I know it's very Machiavellian of me, but it works. Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you now. Don't mess with me. Don't mess with Sidney. Just because she's a doctor doesn't mean she doesn't know how to do what I do," warned Chris in a cold voice. He exited the room leaving everyone stunned. So, Duo looked at Trowa, and they decided to count the cameras and microphones to see if they were all there, but Chris came back and duck his head in.  
  
"Oh, by the way, don't worry it's all the there. You can trust me. I even took the one in Sidney's vanity out. You know the one in her bedroom," said Chris who smiled suggestively as he made his final exit.   
  
"What about the one in her bedroom?" asked Milliardo in a cold voice. That was too far even for him. He didn't like the thought anyone seeing his sister that way.  
  
"It was Heero's idea. He was the only one who went in there. Sorry, Heero, it's him or us," confessed Duo quickly as he stepped away from Heero. Quatre did the same thing.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WERE THINKING, YUY?!!!" shouted Milliardo as he advanced towards Heero. The rest of the Gundam pilots looked like they were thinking of restraining Milliardo, but they looked at him, and decided that it was against their better judgment.  
  
"I was told to do a through job, Zechs," said Heero who shrugged and looked like he was just following orders.  
  
"I DON'T THINK THAT WHAT LADY UNE MEANT AT ALL, YUY! THE REST OF YOU HOW MUCH DID YOU SEE?!" yelled Milliardo. He said this with the sinking realization that rest of them might have seen more too.  
  
"Don't worry. We always had the good manners to leave the room or avert our gazes when she was dressing or changing. We never saw a thing. I don't know about Heero though," said Duo honestly. The rest of them nodded.   
  
"BUT WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THE CAMERA IN RELENA'S ROOM SOONER?!!!" yelled Milliardo looking at all the Gundam pilots.  
  
"Because, we were told not to by Heero," said Duo simply.   
  
"I was the one who said it was a bad idea in the first place," said Quatre in a quiet voice.  
  
"I think this whole mission was a mistake," said Wufei honestly.  
  
"I agree," intoned Trowa.  
  
Heero said nothing, but he gave what could be classified as a dirty look to the other Gundam pilots, and a look of defiance towards Milliardo.. Milliardo looked at him. And then all hell broke lose. There was yelling and swearing coming from the Prince of the Sanc Kingdom. The likes of which were never heard. (Author's Note: I would like to keep my rating a G, if you don't mind!)  
  
However, while all this ensued, Quatre quietly slipped out of the room, and ran for the parking lot hoping to catch Christopher Ryan.   
  
  
***  
  
Chris was almost to his car when he heard the sound of faint footsteps coming towards him. It was Quatre. Chris turned and looked at him.  
  
"Yes. How may I help you, Mr. Winner?" Chris said in an innocent tone.   
  
Quatre was only 5'11''. He had to look up at Chris, who looked even more taller.   
  
"You have to go back to Sidney's apartment," said Quatre. He used her new name because he had hoped that Chris might listen to him that way.  
  
"Why?" asked Chris with a clueless expression on his face.  
  
"Because, there's something there --- I can't say it out loud here --- but look into the table near her bedroom door. Look into the drawer. You'll have to dig, but when you find it, you'll know why I am asking you to do it," pleaded Quatre.  
  
"But, what is it?" asked Chris.   
  
"Just do it. You can help her. She needs your help," said Quatre, "You're the only one who might be able to get through to her." He finished in a soft whisper.   
  
Chris didn't know what to make of what Quatre had just said. But, he looked into Quatre's eyes. Chris knew from his research that Quatre was probably the most honest out of the Gundam pilots. He didn't know why, but he trusted Quatre's word.  
  
"Okay, I'll check it out, thanks, Mr. Winner," said Chris.  
  
"No thank you, Mr. Ryan. But, call me Quatre," said Quatre as he turned and ran back into the hotel room before they noticed that he was gone.  
  
Chris got into his Mustang and drove back to Sidney's apartment.   



	21. Regretting Nothing - Part 21

Regretting Nothing - Part 21  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Or the very interesting characters in it.  
  
Author's Note: Some might say that I am slowly torturing you people. But, I wanted to make my story as complex as I could possibly make it. There should be a few more chapters to go. I want to surprise you. I hope I have been doing that all along. Back to the story.  
  
Chris went back to Sidney's apartment. Chris went straight to the table that Quatre told him to look into. Chris took the drawer out so that he could rifle through it faster and easier. He pulled the files on the top out. Then, at the very bottom of the drawer, Chris found slips of paper.  
  
"What are these?" said Chris out loud. He looked at them. They were prescriptions. He could only identify one drug. That one was for people who had insomnia. He drugged some people every once in awhile using that drug. It was a light drug. But, the others he couldn't identify. The prescriptions came from Saving Grace. So, Chris decided to talk to Angie at the hospital later. Chris also wanted to check on Sidney. However, he felt guilty that he was invading her privacy. He would apologize later for it.   
  
***  
Milliardo was done blowing his top, he stalked off to his room, and decided that it was better that he be alone for a while. Heero was trying to fix his laptop with no success. Quatre was pacing in his room, and praying that Chris had done what he had asked him to do. Wufei was reading some thing for one of his classes at Tokyo. Trowa had decided to go to the pool, and exercise by swimming for a while. Duo was calling the investors. Suddenly, Heero had a thought that had escaped him. He knew that everyone was separated for a while to cool off, and to get out of each other's hair, too.  
  
"I just realized something. Where is Relena?" asked Heero in a quiet voice.  
  
"I think that she is probably with one of her friends. Now that she knows all about the cameras, she wouldn't want to stay there. Even after, Ryan had taken them out. Also, we could still probably watch her without the cameras by following her. Wise woman. She knows who she is dealing with," said Wufei logically. He had admired Chris for having the courage to mess with them. He was a worthy adversary for Heero. Someone who could challenge him.   
  
"Which friend? Chris or Angie? Maybe, even that friend, Steve," said Heero. He ran his fingers in his hair. He decided it was futile to try and fix his laptop. He would have to get a new one. Something was burning in his chest. The moment that Chris had the front desk clerk call for him. Chris was a good friend to Relena. No. A best friend. Something that Heero could never been. He couldn't even just be her friend. What he did was something an enemy would do. Chris had gone in, and did everything out of love. He did it all for his best friend. He didn't just stand up for her. He was there as her voice. Heero was pretty sure that Chris knew that Relena or Sidney had lied to him, but he was there for her nonetheless. Heero began to wonder if he could have done the same thing. Heero had saved her life many times, but he never openly stood up for her. Not in public any way. Chris was a better man than he was. Actually, both he and Sidney were better people than him in general. He thought of the intimacy that all her friends shared with her. They could all laugh and have fun together. They also stood up for each other. Heero shook his head, and wondered where all those thoughts had come from.  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Dr. Hart. That handsome, ultra fine friend of yours Chris is here to see you," said Nurse Clarke.   
  
"Let him in, Ashley," said Angie. She wasn't expecting Chris at all. What if there was something wrong with Sidney?  
  
"Hi, Angie," said Chris who looked very solemn. Nurse Clarke checked him out as she left the room. She was mouthing the word "fine" with her lips. Chris ignored her. They greeted each other with the standard hug and kiss on the cheeks.   
  
"Hi, Chris. Is there something wrong with Sidney?" asked Angie with concerned eyes.   
  
"That depends. What can you tell me about these medicines?" asked Chris as he handed the prescription slips to Angie.  
  
Angie took them and looked at them. Her hair was up in a ponytail and sort swung around as her head moved. Chris waited patiently for an answer.  
  
"First of all, this is from the psych board of this hospital. It's Dr. Gutierrez's handwriting. One of the drug is for insomnia and the others are for mild depression," said Angie, "It looks like Sidney never had them filled. Oh, no!"  
  
"Wait a minute. Sidney has depression?" said in disbelief Chris. He couldn't believe it. Sidney never let on that she was depressed. Then again, she never showed when she was in any physically pain after some of her workouts, why would she show that she was in pain emotionally or mentally?  
  
"How did you find out about these prescriptions?" asked Angie. She was sure that Sidney would have kept them well hidden in the apartment, and that Chris wouldn't go looking for them without a good reason.  
  
"Quatre Winner. He caught up with me after I dropped off their stuff. I wasn't sure whether or not to trust him, but he seemed sincere. So, I decided to check it out. They dug through Sid's stuff, Angie. I can tell the hierarchy in that group. The only people we have to worry about are Heero Yuy and Milliardo Peacecraft. But, Peacecraft is out of the loop. That was plenty obvious. I am positive that Yuy was running things. He was the one giving orders. The Gundam pilots just followed them. Then again, it's a government job, and Yuy's pretty intimidating," said Chris. He had analyzed the situation quite well. Chris knew better than to underestimate Yuy.  
  
"We have a bigger problem than those bloody twits, Chris. What about Sidney? What are we going to do?" asked Angie. Chris just looked at her. 'What are we going to do?' pondered Chris.  
  
"Maybe, she doesn't want us to interfere, Angie. We have to except that. That's probably why she didn't say anything about the depression. In fact, I feel guilty just talking about it here," said Chris.   
  
"But, Chris, something bad is happening to her. I just realized something. The nightmares. I bet they never went away. Remember, whenever she had those terrible nightmares we'd talk about, Chris," said Angie as she widen her eyes in realization.  
  
"I didn't think much about them. I mean that didn't care. It's just that I thought that every one has nightmares," said Chris.   
  
"They were always intense. When she first moved to D.C., I wanted her to move to my apartment with me, and be my roommate just like in Excelsior," revealed Angie.   
  
Chris knew how much Angie valued having a place all to herself. This was very serious. Chris wasn't liking this one bit.   
  
"What do you think we should do, Angie? Tell the psych board. Because that would get Sidney suspended," said Chris.  
  
"No. We won't do that, Chris. Her career is her life. It defines who she is. But, I'll have the prescriptions filled here in the lab. After all, I work with terminally ill patients all the time. They get depress, and some don't sleep much. So, I can get these drugs no problem," said Angie with a determined voice.  
  
"Won't you get in trouble, Angie?" asked Chris. He didn't want Angie to do anything she was uncomfortable with.  
  
"Please, Chris, you weren't the only graduate out of Excelsior. I am the salutatorian, after all. Besides, I don't mind taking a risk for my friends. Especially, you and Sidney," said Angie with a slight smile on her face. Then, she was serious again. "I just realized something else. Sidney is, or rather was, a Peacecraft. She's had a rough childhood. Not monetary, wise, but in the sense of loss. Her biologically parents died when she was practically a baby. Her adoptive father was assassinated. Sidney even talked a very little bit about her adoptive mother's death by cancer. She also talked about the pressure of being the world's designated peacekeeper," finished Angie in soft voice.  
  
Chris listened. He never thought that Sidney had that much strength. She was tough, but Chris didn't think she was that tough. Or maybe not, if she was suffering from depression.  
  
"We have to do something. If it was mild before, it could be full blown now, Chris," added Angie. She thought that Chris was in deep thought. Probably, analyzing the situation like he always does.   
  
"Quatre mentioned that I was probably the only person who could get through to her. But, I can't if she doesn't want my help. What am I suppose to do force her? That would be something Yuy and Peacecraft would do. I am not going to do that to her," Chris whispered softly.  
  
Angie gazed at Chris. She didn't know Quatre Winner personally, but she agreed with him. If they didn't help her soon, they would lose her forever. That would be to death. Angie knew in her heart that Chris was the only one who could help her. No matter, how much Angie could wished she could do it, she couldn't.   
  
"He's right. You have to help, Chris. You're the only one who has a chance. I don't think her brother can help her. I don't think any of the Gundam pilots can help her. I'll do the only thing that I can do for now, which is fill these prescriptions just in case. I know that we probably won't be able to get her to take them. But, you never know," Angie whispered softly. She felt her eyes blur. She wasn't going to lose one of her best friends. Not like this.   
  
Chris came closer and enclosed her in a much-needed embrace. They both need it.   
  
"It's alright. I'll do what I can," he whispered.  
  
"We can't lose her. We'd lose a part of ourselves. She part of our family," sobbed Angie.  
  
"I know. I won't let her go without a fight. I promise that for all three of us, Angie," whispered Chris.  
  
"I'll be praying for all of us," said Angie.  



	22. Regretting Nothing - Part 22

Regretting Nothing - Part 22  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in Gundam Wing. But, here's a paradox for you: do I own Sidney Marquette, who is a new incarnation of Relena?  
  
Author's Note: Everything is strained right now. The Gundam pilots and Milliardo just met Christopher Ryan. He really gave them a surprise. Angie and Chris both know about the unfilled prescriptions. Can one imagine the strain that Sidney must be under? Also, I used my birthplace as one of the locations. ^_^  
  
Chris' apartment was just as much a testimony of himself as Sidney's apartment was to her. His apartment was modern sleek in design. It would remind one of Chris' lab. Angie's apartment was the coziest out of three. Her place was homey. Sidney was living in only a one-bedroom apartment, no matter how spacious it was; it was nothing compared to Chris'. Then again, out of the three, he made the most money. He was after all half of a multimillion-dollar company. His apartment was filled with toys. Well, the kind of toys a guy would love. Chris had a pool table in his living room in one of the open corners. There was a punching bag, and weights for lifting, as well as a bar in the balcony. He had a well-stocked kitchen. Chris' mother was Italian American and his father was Irish American. Chris could cook Italian meals in his kitchen, which was well stocked with kitchen gadgets. Although, both Angie and Sidney had had Chris' mother's cooking, and knew that no one was as good as Mrs. Ryan. Either way, Chris was still a better cook than Sidney. Actually, the best cook in the group was Angie. Her style was pan-Asian and she loved to bake sweets.  
  
Chris' place was located in downtown, highly expensive, Washington D.C. While Sidney lived in Georgetown, and Angie lived in Norfolk, which was a far commute. Angie's condo was in a gated community. As doctors they made enough money to live in D.C., but opted to live away from it. There wasn't enough disposable income to spend on living in D.C. Chris preferred living in the area of where his offices were nearby. Although, at first glance, Chris' place looked too modern to be a home, but it had a lot of pictures of his family, Angie, and Sidney. He still displayed a lot of Sidney's old modeling shoots. He had a computer in the living room, but didn't believe that he should be working outside of the office, useless it was for a case. The computer was for emergencies.   
  
The most interesting thing about Chris' apartment building was that it was originally a hotel. It was renovated and retrofitted. There was lobby downstairs that made it look like it was still a hotel. The lobby had a marble floor and large pillars. The front desk staff was always friendly. There was also one of the finest restaurant in D.C. downstairs that existed before the hotel changed to private apartments. It allowed for its tenants to eat free as part of the rent, and for the tenants' guests as well. The apartment made more money by having the restaurant. But, most tenants cooked in their own apartments. However, one could still call for room service. The building had top-notch security on it. When one came to visit a tenant, one would have to have the front desk clerk, John, call the apartment and check. The only place really open to the public was the restaurant. Sidney was staying in Chris' guest room. Chris lived in one of penthouses. Sidney didn't feel trap there like she did would if she were still Relena. Instead, Chris reassured that she could leave. In fact, that he would pick up her car for her. But, it was nice not to be alone. Maybe, the nightmares wouldn't come.  
  
***  
  
Chris, Angie, and Sidney were having dinner in Chris' apartment. Until the heat died down , so to speak, Sidney thought it would be safer for her to stay there. Chris had cook a simple pasta meal with Sidney's help. Sidney made the salad. While, Chris made the pasta and the soup. The soup was from his mother's scratch recipe. Angie had brought a flan for after dinner.  
  
"Were you able to find all the cameras, Chris?" asked Sidney.   
  
"Yes. You'll never guess where I found the last one?" said Chris with a wry look on his face. He had to tell her sooner or later because that would make him no better than them.   
  
"Where?' asked Sidney as she ate a bit of pasta.  
  
"In the vanity in your bedroom," said Chris fearing her reaction. Angie let out a gasp.  
  
"Urgh. What the Hell?!" choked Sidney as tried to get some soda down. "In my vanity, where they could see me?!"  
  
Her voice was now on the tinge of hysteria. Her blue eyes flickered. She bit her lip.  
  
"I am going to hurt them. Who would think of putting in a camera in the vanity?" said Sidney out loud. "Wait. Heero. It had to be Heero. Oh, that's it! I'll get him! That son of a bitch! God dammit!"  
  
"Yes, I overheard Peacecraft yell at him, as I was making a hasty exit," reported Chris, "I didn't hear anymore. Peacecraft got mad at him, and the rest of the Gundam pilots."   
  
"Who is Heero Yuy in all of this? I mean I know he was the pilot who had the final fight with Zechs Marquise when the White Fang tried to take over. But, he seems like so much more," said Angie thoughtfully.   
  
"He is a phantom. He was the first of the Gundam pilots that I met. I met him right after the Operation Meteor was first launched. I was on the beach, and he landed there. I guess my first mistake was taking off his helmet. He freaked and when the ambulance came to help him, he knocked out the EMTs and took off running. On top of that he stole the ambulance. Later on I found out he was in my school, so in an effort to make him feel welcomed, I invited him to my fifteenth birthday party. Do you know what he did? Of course, you don't. He ripped the invitation in half, and then I started to cry. I was a baby then, and a real wimp. Then, he leaned forward, and wiped a tear off my face, and then he said, 'I am going to kill you,'" Sidney finished. She had a tone of mockery in voice.   
  
"Did he use those exact words: 'I am going to kill you'? But, he's never done it. That's obvious. I guess when you're an assassin who's trained to have no one know your identity, it would be important to eliminate anyone who could identify you. According to the files l broke into, Heero Yuy isn't his real name. His real name is unknown. The original Heero Yuy was a slain leader of the colonies. Heero Yuy, the one we're having problems with, was raised by a scientist by the name of…" Chris informed.  
  
"Dr. J. He raised Heero to be a weapon for the colonies. Heero is a cold machine. Heero has no emotions. He is like a mobile doll. Unlike, the mobile suit he once piloted, there is no one inside. He doesn't have a soul," interrupted Sidney in a cold voice.  
  
"But, why does he seem like the most adamant out of the Gundam pilots?" asked Chris. He knew that he was only hearing one side of the story. He didn't question Sidney to make her feel like she was wrong. Rather, he did it because he wanted to be fair. Heero Yuy wasn't getting a say in their conversation. Therefore, Chris had to play the Devil's advocate. Not that Chris thought it Heero was the Devil, because Chris didn't believe that anyone didn't have a soul.   
  
"I don't see how you can defend him, Chris. He threaten Sidney once," said Angie. As she ate some pasta.  
  
"It's his mission. Heero is a soldier. He accepts missions. He can't fail. If it's his mission to bring me back, then I can guarantee you that he's not going to quit," said Sidney in a hopeless voice. "Heero used to come and save me from various things. That was when I was treated like a little delicate princess. He's threaten me more than once. It became his greeting. He never did it. I have no idea why. I suppose he was being sadistic. But, it got to the point where I never took his threats too seriously."   
  
"What about your brother?" asked Angie.  
  
"I don't have a brother. Milliardo was never there when I grew up. Siblings are suppose to grow up together. It doesn't feel like we're even related. So much for blood being thicker than water. He is a stranger to me. Just as much as I am a stranger to him. We can't be a family, not after all that's happened," said Sidney in a soft voice. She had let go. Sidney had no faith in them. They had given her very little cause to have faith in them.   
  
"What is it that you want?" asked Chris.  
  
That was an odd question. In her old life, everyone always went out of their way to give her what she wanted. What was worse was that they assumed they thought they knew what she wanted. Chris and Angie knew her better than anyone, but Chris still had the courtesy to actually ask her.   
  
"I want them out of my life for good. I want what's mine back. I can't spend the rest of my life fighting them, and never having any peace of my own. I don't want to hid anymore. They have done enough damage. Look what they have done in such a short time. They violated my privacy and kept me away from my own patients. I have to hide out here like I did something wrong. This is my life. Not theirs. I know that it sounds selfish, but I have given enough of my life to others," Sidney spoke with a clear, soft strong voice. It had determination in it.  
  
"You deserve to live your own life. You're entitled to it. You can't let them take it from you. As far as I am concerned you are Sidney Marquette, my best friend, and not Relena Darlian Peacecraft who became a shell from which Sidney Marquette emerged from. You are a survivor," agreed Angie. Chris was in deep thought. He knew that Sidney wasn't telling the whole story. But, he and Angie had agreed not to push her. If she wanted to tell the whole story, then Chris was the one who would be there to hear it.  
  
"What happens now?" asked Angie who looked at Chris because he hadn't said anything in a while.  
  
"We wait," said Sidney, "As for the camera in my bedroom, I already got Heero by having Chris put the computer virus in his firewall. It should have destroyed everything."  
  
"It did. I saw when went there. Heero's computer looked like it wasn't working at all," said Chris in a quiet voice.  
  
"I just have to take consolation for now that I got Heero where it hurts. His laptop. But, that doesn't mean it's over yet," said Sidney, "Everything will be alright guys. Things will eventually fall back into place more or less. Not that everything will be the same, but everything should be fine."  
  
Angie and Chris looked at each other. They sure hoped so.  



	23. Regretting Nothing - Part 23

Regretting Nothing - Part 23  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I still own Chris, Angie, and the rest of the new made up characters.  
  
Author's Note: Read, but don't be too hasty about your judgments. This is one of the more depressing parts of this series. You have been warned. Read Nightmares for further information, if you haven't already. However, that is for more detail. There is a summarization. This is the longest part. It's deep and sad. Sidney's pain has caught up with her.  
  
Angie had come up with an excuse for Sidney not to be at the emergency room. Angie told them that Sidney was on sick leave. Which, in Angie's eyes was true. Sidney had been at Chris for little over twenty-four hours. While, Angie was in her condo in Norfolk, Sidney and Chris passed the time by playing pool and working out. It seemed as if Sidney didn't want to talk. Chris however kept his ears open for any indication that Sidney wanted to talk.   
  
'You got to give her some time. She's been holding it in for years. She's not going to let go that easily,' thought Chris. He was at his keyboard playing some music. Sidney watched him play for a little bit, and then she sat next to him, and began to play with him.  
  
"Are you sure that you are all right?" asked Chris in soft voice.  
  
"I'm fine," Sidney answered in a soft voice as she finished off the last part of the piece. At the odd moment, a memory came back. A woman was playing a song on the piano. There was a young light blond haired boy sitting with her, and watching with deep fascination as she gently played music. The boy had light blue eyes. He had a smile on his face.  
  
"Sidney? What are you thinking? I'm not a mind reader, Sidney. Do you want anything?" asked Chris with concern written on his face.  
  
"Yeah. Look, I am feeling a little homesick. I guess that must be it," Sidney said in a soft voice.  
  
"Well, if you want to go home right now, I'll drop you off. Then, I'll bring your car back later. There should be no more trouble in your apartment. I've kept an eye on it, and it's been quiet for a while now," reassured Chris. He was really worried about her, but didn't want to make her feel anymore homesick by forcing her to stay.  
  
"No. That's all right. But, Chris…never mind it just sound crazy or silly," whispered Sidney.  
  
"What? If there's anything you need from your place, I'll pick it up for you," said Chris. He didn't mind leaving her in the apartment alone because he trusted her to be all right.  
  
"There's a doll on the nightstand. It's next to the lamp. Could you or Angie bring it here for me?" Sidney asked in a timid voice. It was a small request in the eyes of many, but an important to one to her.  
  
"I'll pick it up and bring it right back here for you, Sidney," with that Chris left with no questions asked.  
  
***  
  
Milliardo and Heero couldn't find where Sidney/Relena had gone. Heero found out that Dr. Marquette was on sick leave for some unknown reason. Heero knew that it wasn't because she was sick, but that she was getting away from them.   
  
"Do you think she went on the run again?" asked Duo.  
  
"I don't think so," said Milliardo with a sigh. "She's just waiting for us to go away."  
  
"Do you think Ryan told her about the…" Duo cut himself off. He didn't want Milliardo to explode again.  
  
"Yes, I think Ryan told her about the camera. He strikes me as a honorable man," said Milliardo in a soft voice. Everyone in the room was surprised. Milliardo never complimented someone openly unless they were really special.  
  
Quatre remained quiet. All the other Gundam pilots had noticed that he was quieter than normal. Even Heero, who was looking at him. 'What has he been thinking about all this time?' thought Heero.  
  
***  
  
Chris came back quickly with the doll for Sidney. It was an old doll. Sidney waited for him. She was sitting on the floor wearing a white tank top and flannel pajama bottoms. She had made a fire in the fireplace, and the lights were off. She looked the fire with intensity.  
  
Chris' first reaction after he opened the door was to turn on the lights.  
  
"Don't turn on the light, please. I just want to be in the dark for a while," whispered Sidney in a plea.  
  
"Oh. I brought back your doll for you. I even buckled her into the front passenger seat for you, so that she got here safely," said Chris with a smile. He really did do that.  
  
"Thanks," Sidney answered in a whisper. She didn't get up off the hardwood floor. Chris took off his coat and hung it on one of the hooks near the door. After putting the doll safely on the counter. He picked it back up, and walked up to her. She was sitting Indian style on the floor.  
  
"Here."  
  
She took it into her hands. Her eyes looked reflected the fire. Sidney used her hands, and expertly opened the back of the doll, and drew something silver out of it. It was a necklace.  
  
"This is for you, Chris. It belonged to my father. It's a St. Francis medal. My mother gave it to him, after they first met. The first part of the prayer is, well you already know, 'Lord make me an instrument of your Peace,'" whispered Sidney as she handed it to him. His eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Thanks. I don't know what to say. Are you sure?" asked Chris. She nodded. He undid the clasp, and placed it around his neck.  
  
"It looks good on you. I picked it up the last time I went home. My parents' house is outside Berlin in the countryside. The medal was in my mother's jewelry box. It was one of my father's prized possession when he was alive. Then, later it became my mother's. Now, it's yours. My doll, her name is Cosette. My father, the King, brought it home with him when he went away for one of his speeches. He brought the doll, and a new practice sword for Milliardo. I was really little, but I remember it. I remember a lot of things."  
  
"Hey. You went home?"  
  
"Yes. I went home every once in a while. I still do. There is only one maid left and a groundskeeper who keep the place up. Milliardo only went there once. So, they never had to lie about me going there. I found Cosette in the attic."  
  
"So, you've had that doll with you since you were little. I have a stuffed penguin that my dad bought me one winter when we went skating at a park near a zoo in Central Park."  
  
"Yes. I had it when my brother first left me behind. I was about my niece's age," whispered Sidney. Chris didn't say anything, but he looked at her. She put the doll in a sitting position, and Sidney stretched out her body. Sidney laid on her left side and faced the fire. She didn't complain about the floor being hard or cold. Chris didn't want to bring it up. Her breathing was quiet.   
  
"This fire reminds me of that day. I don't remember much about that day. I was so little. I do remember wandering around the dark corridors of the castle. I went into the only room that had any light in it. It was the throne room. My mother, the Queen, was laying on the floor near one of the thrones. I tried to wake her up…but, she couldn't. I didn't know at the time that she was already dead. She looked so peaceful, like she was asleep," whispered Sidney.  
  
Chris shook his head. No child should see their parent like that. Especially, not his best friend. Her breathing was getting sallow. It sounded as if she was swallowing tears. She scrunched herself up a little bit in fetal-like position.   
  
"Then, I heard some men down in one of the other yards…they took my father outside. They dragged him outside. There was a man who stood behind him. My father's hair and beard were cut, and his clothes were torn. It looked like they had tortured him."  
  
Chris looked at her. Her eyes were shine with unshed tears. That's why they were so reflective when he first came in.  
  
"The man made my father kneel in front of him with his back turned. Imagine making a king go down on his kneels before you? The man had a gun pointed at the back of his head. Almost touching it. They said something to each other. I couldn't hear. I can't remember either…But, after those words my father leaned his head back…"  
  
Chris' eyes widen in horror. "The man didn't…"  
  
"He did. He shot my father's head. His brains and blood were splattered all over the courtyard. The worse part was the crowd below cheered. They cheered because a great man was dead," Sidney finished she was barely audible. Her body shuddered. Chris laid his hand on her shoulder. He could feel her tremble under his touch. He couldn't believe that a small child could witness something like that, and survive it.  
  
"How did you get out?"  
  
"My brother carried me out of the throne room. He found his way through one of the secret passages that ran under the castle. He let me ride on his back. When we got outside, someone tried to pull me off his back, but I started to scream. Milliardo got mad and glared at him. He ordered him not to touch me."  
  
"Well, I guess that's something to thank him for."  
  
"That's not it. When we got to some place where the trees had stop, there were the Darlians waiting for us. My father had worked with the King closely, and had admired his vision. Milliardo looked at them, and said that I had to go with them. I panicked and dropped Cosette, and then I held on to Milliardo's waist. He kept saying that he would be back, and that he would be there for me. I wouldn't listen to him. After that, Milliardo took my arms off him. He turned and left me. I would have ran after him. But, my father was holding me. I kept screaming. I begged him not to leave me. He wouldn't listen to me. He didn't even look back at me. He just left me behind."  
  
"I don't know what to say."  
  
"When I was little I used to have nightmares about it. They went away over time, but they came back after Lady Une killed my father."  
  
"Is that what you dream about at night?"  
  
"So, Angie told you about those."  
  
"Are you mad?"  
  
"No. I guess Angie needed someone to talk to afterwards. Milliardo left me more than once."  
  
"He did?"  
  
"He left again when he decided to led White Fang."  
  
"I remember that. My father and mother kept me out of school. There was nothing to do, but watch the reports."  
  
"Later on when I was kidnapped by Mariemaia's men, Milliardo came back with his Gundam, Tallgeese III. He was part of the Preventers even back then, he was codenamed Wind. I found out after Nion left."  
  
"Nion? Isn't she his wife?"  
  
"Yes. I felt betrayed at first by her desertion. She loves Milliardo very much. She would do anything for him. So, she decided to leave with him. She didn't even say goodbye. Nothing. She just left without a word. She was a disappointment to me. I have no respect for her. She just walked away from me like Milliardo. People always leave me, Chris. Heero left me."  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"Heero would come and go. Just like everyone else. Heero would save me, then leave without a word. He gave me a teddy bear once for my birthday. Then, he left. He saved me from the Barton Foundation, but then in a few weeks he was gone again. I should be used to it by now. But, I'm not. I hate it. All they ever did was save my body, they never did anything for my soul really. Heero would charm me, then leave. Milliardo claimed that he protected me because I was his sister. I need so much more than people just saving me. It's like saving an animal only to kill it later. Everyone always expected me to wait for them to come back from whatever mission they had to do. I couldn't stand it. I am so tired, Chris. I am tired of losing everyone I care about through abandonment or death. I am tired of fighting so hard to justify my existence in this world. I've had enough. I've fought for so long. I give up. They can take my life," Sidney said in a whisper. There was a tear that ran down her cheek.  
  
"We can fight for you, Sidney. You don't have to be alone. You aren't alone. The only reason why I was so upset about you lying to me was because I thought that you didn't trust me. I suppose Angie has better faith in you than I do. I am so sorry. I would never leave you behind. You are one of the best things in my life. You have to also understand, it's not your fault that they left. It's not. They had the choice, and they made the wrong one," Chris rasped as he wiped the tear off her face. He pulled away after that and sat down back in his place on the floor. He was sitting near her head. If she wanted to he would have let her lay her head in his lap, but she didn't. That was alright. Sidney had seen four parents die in one lifetime. She was always so strong, but she was breaking down. She was close to losing it.   
  
"I trust you. I trust you and Angie more than anyone. Your opinions matter to me more than anyone's, Chris. You are the only person who knows all about this. No one else. Because I trust you. Do you trust me?" she whispered. She had her knees pulled up to her chest in a full fetal position.  
  
"Of course, I trust you. I forgive you for everything that's happened. I also apologize for everything I have ever done to you," whispered Chris in a tender tone.  
  
"Thank you. I forgive you too, Chris."  
  
"We'll come up with something, Sid. I won't let you go without a fight. Thank you for everything you have ever given me. Do you want me to tell, Angie? Because I won't if you don't want me to. It can just be between the two of us," whispered Chris. His blue eyes flickered with the flames.  
  
"No. You should tell Angie. She needs to know how important she is to me."  
  
Chris understood why Sidney didn't want to leave. Why she had chosen to stand her ground here, it wasn't her career. She could start over anywhere. It was for Angie and him that she had stayed. It was for them that she was willing to risk her freedom for. Chris looked at the fire as it caught the medal on his chest. Chris thought back to all the conversations that Angie and he had about Sidney's bad nights. Chris thought about the fact that she was heard screaming about being left behind. They let her behind and had forgotten her. It wasn't their intention, but they did. Chris also knew that Heero was so much more to Sidney than she had indicated earlier. Suddenly, Sidney had gotten up and wiped the tears off her face.   
  
"I want to go to bed now, Chris. Good night," Sidney said quietly as she left the room to go to the guest room.  
  
Chris sighed. He hated this whole situation. He had the feeling of helpless. He had never experienced at all. Chris felt her pain. It was very palpable. It hung in the air like spider webs. How could he have not noticed before? If he didn't, how could they not see that they were slowly killing her spirit? That was the best part of her. He pondered such things before he put out the fire, and went to his room.  
  
When Chris was in his master bedroom, he put on a tee shirt and a pair of cotton boxers. And gotten to bed. He went into a light sleep.  
  
***  
  
It was around midnight when Sidney had another nightmare. She was tossing and turning. The sheets were being torn apart from the bed. Her breathing was erratic. Then, she started screaming.  
  
"DON'T LEAVE ME! HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME?! I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE HERE!!! PLEASE!" Sidney screamed, and her screams were high pitched.  
  
Chris was jolted out of his sleep quick. He got out of his bed quickly, and ran for the guest room.   
  
When he got there, Sidney was tossing and turning. Her arms were flung and her legs were thrashing. Her breathing was hard. Chris didn't know if he should wake her up. He couldn't remember what Angie said to do. Right now, it didn't seem important.  
  
"Sidney, please wake up! Everything's alright. You're safe here," Chris said in a loud voice hoping to snap her out of it. He was coming closer to the bed. Sidney woke up, and there were tears were streaming down her face.  
  
"Chris," Sidney gasped in a soft tortured voice. Her breathing was hard. It was like she couldn't breath at all. Chris came up to her on the bed and held her until she stopped shaking. Chris rubbed her back. The way a parent would to sooth a hurt child. She cried on to his shirt. When she had calmed down a little bit, Chris left for a kitchen, and he came back with some green tea. Her favorite tea. Chris handed it to her and she sipped it. Chris left again and came back with a box of tissues for her. She cleaned up her face, and laid back down. She kept her hand on Chris' arm. Chris looked at her.   
  
"Could you stay until I fall asleep?" she asked in a soft voice.   
  
"I'll be here as long as you need me to be, Sid," Chris responded in a soft voice. He got on the king sized bed with her. He was on the top sheets. She was under the sheets. There was about three feet of space between them. They were facing each other. But, Chris held her hand until he knew that she was asleep. After that, he pulled his arm back, and went to sleep. He decided to stay in the bed for the evening. There was no point to getting up. He wanted to be there in case another nightmare came. He was listening to her breath calmly. Before he went to sleep, also.  



	24. Regretting Nothing - Part 24

Regretting Nothing - Part 24  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. Besides, catch me if you can, Mr. Lawyer Man. I am ClareBear. Hee hee. Ignore that last part if there are lawyers out there.  
  
Author's Note: The last part was supposed to be a very sweet ending. So, for those of you who thought something was going to happen between Chris and Sidney get your minds out the gutter. I don't write stuff like that…at least not yet. As for you people who are waiting for Heero, let me assure you that he will come in again. Don't worry, Sidney gets better. Remember, this is a story about Relena, and the person that she becomes. Back to the story.  
  
Chris woke up just after dawn. Sunlight was streaming into the guest room. He looked across him and saw that Sidney was still asleep. He got up out of the bed as slowly as possible so that Sidney wouldn't notice the shift in the bed. Chris thought that she should sleep in. Sidney had a bad night last night. He thought back to all the things she had told him. Chris looked at Sidney to make sure that she was breathing. Sidney's breathing was leveled and calm. Chris smiled softly, and pulled more of the blankets over her. He gently touched her cheek, and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.  
  
He quietly opened the door, and after one last look to make sure that Sidney was fine, he closed the door so softly that it made an inaudible click. Chris went to his room, and decided it was time to get ready for work. He took a long shower. Chris work black pants and a white shirt. Before he decided to go for some breakfast, he put on the St. Francis medal. He looked at himself in the mirror, and ran his fingers through his hair. He never really used a comb. Chris than put the medal underneath his shirt.   
  
Chris went to the kitchen, and made himself some breakfast. He did this as quietly as possible. His place was neat, after all he was no longer leaving with Steve. Chris debated whether or not his should leave breakfast for Sidney. He decided not to because there was no way of telling when she would be awake. Chris thought for one last time if he should really go to work or not, but decided that Sidney would probably want to be alone for a little bit. He left a note on the refrigerator door with a magnet to hold it. Then, he checked on Sidney one last time, and left for work.   
  
***  
  
Sidney woke up at around ten. She looked around the room, and it felt warm because of the sunlight and the blankets. Sidney looked over to the other side, and noticed that Chris was gone. Sidney sat up in the bed. 'Chris probably went to work. It's because of me that he couldn't get any work done this week. Because he had to deal with my problems. Him and Angie. I have the best friends in the world. To think Heero and Milliardo are about the coldest people in the universe, while Angie and Chris are the warmest beings anywhere,' thought Sidney as she finally got out of bed. She stretched her arms, and decided that some Tai Chi and Yoga was in order.  
  
Sidney knew that Angie had made up an excuse as to why she wasn't at work. Still she thought about the ER, and how the staff must be really busy to pick up the slack of her not being there. Sidney took a shower, and changed into some warm-ups and a tee shirt. When she got to the kitchen she found Chris' note in the refrigerator it said:  
  
"Sidney,  
  
I went to work. Don't worry I'll be right back. I may even come for lunch with Angie. If you need me just call me at work. It's all right. Oh, I almost forgot about breakfast. Just go to the restaurant downstairs, and they'll make you something. I don't want you messing with my kitchen. Bye. ^_^  
Chris"  
  
Sidney smiled at the note. Chris always teased the ones he cared about, so that made Sidney and Angie his favorite victims. She got some orange juice out the refrigerator. As she drank it she found the newspaper, and read that. After that, she was hungry, so she went to the restaurant downstairs. The staff at the restaurant was just as friendly as the staff at the front desk. Sidney ate her breakfast leisurely. She avoided the coffee for the morning and had some Earl Grey tea with her French toast, and fresh strawberries. When she was done, she went back to Chris apartment. She went out to the balcony and practiced her Tai Chi and Yoga, she didn't feel like doing much kickboxing. Suddenly, the phone rang. Sidney let the machine take it.  
  
"Hey! Sidney. If you are there put pick up. It's Chris,"   
  
Sidney went the phone and opened the line. "Hi Chris. How's your morning?"  
  
"Not bad. Are you going stir crazy? Because if you are, you'll have to pay for the damages done to my apartment," Chris teased with smile on his face, and a twinkle in his eye.  
  
"No. I haven't done any thing to your place. I went down for breakfast. It was good. I've been doing my relaxation workouts. I'm up to my yoga," reported Sidney with a smile on her face.  
  
"Oh. I'm sorry to interrupt your workout. Actually, I also called to tell you that I got a call from the esteemed Milliardo Peacecraft. He says that he wants me to meet with them again. He looks really worried about you, Sidney. What do you want me to do?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, do you want me to meet with him? Because if you don't, I won't go to meet him."  
  
"I don't care. It's your business, Chris. If you want to, I can't very well stop you."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes. Be careful if you meet with them. I don't know what their next move is."  
  
"Well, then. I guess I'll go back to work. Bye, Sidney."  
  
"Bye, Chris."  
  
***  
  
Chris got a call from Angie later that day, just before lunch.  
  
"Hi, Chris. Guess who I got a call from?"  
  
"Hi, Angie. Who?  
  
"Heero Yuy. He wants to meet with me. Can you believe that?"  
  
"Yes. I got a call from Milliardo Peacecraft. I called Sidney to ask her what she thought of it. She said it was my choice whether or not to speak to him or not. What are you going to do, Angie?"  
  
"Well, I would like to final meet these people. I'd like to tell them a thing or two. Oh, by the way, did anything happen it? Have you talked to Sid yet, Chris?"  
  
  
  
Chris let out a sigh. "Yeah. Actually, she talked I just listened. Angie, some awful stuff has happened to her. Sidney saw her father get executed when she was barely old enough to walk. Her brother left her behind to fight his own personal war. Sidney's been left behind by a lot of people, Angie," said Chris in a soft voice. He knew he could tell Angie everything, but felt that it wasn't necessary. Angie could understand.  
  
"I think we should meet with them together. Today, we should also tell Sidney."  
  
"Alright. Bye, Angie."  
  
Chris called Milliardo and the Gundam pilots that they would meet them at the hotel. Angie called Sidney. Sidney had nothing really to say.   
  
***  
  
Milliardo was waiting for Angela Hart and Christopher Ryan to arrive. The rest of the Gundam pilots were told to stay for the meeting. Heero and Milliardo had no direct conversation to each other since Chris' last visit.   
  
"I wonder why they would agree to meeting with us," said Quatre out loud.  
  
"I have no idea. Ryan is a strange one," commented Wufei.  
  
"Do you suppose Angela Hart knows as much as Chris?" asked Duo.  
  
"I don't think so," said Trowa.  
  
Neither Heero nor Milliardo said a word. Milliardo was looking at his watch. Heero was sitting there. He thought about Angela Hart. He already knew about Christopher Ryan's character for the most part. Heero thought that Angela Hart had a very strong personality. She was defensive when it came to her friends. He also wondered about Relena. It was strange not to really hear about after the last week.  
  
There came a call from the front desk. Angel Hart and Christopher Ryan had arrived, and were told to come up.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Ryan. Hello, Dr. Hart," greeted Milliardo. This time Chris shook hands with Milliardo. Angie shook hands with everyone.   
  
"Hello, everyone. What is we're all here for," said Angie. She was poised to attack.  
  
"We wanted to talk about my sister," said Milliardo.  
  
"Strange thing, Mr. Peacecraft, she says she doesn't have a brother," informed Angie. Milliardo inwardly flinched at this. Heero remained expressionless. He kept his eyes locked on Chris.  
  
"How is Sidney?" asked Quatre who looked at Chris.  
  
"She much better. Thank you for asking, Quatre," said Chris with a smile. Quatre smiled back and breathed a sigh of relief. This earned Quatre few looks from the other. Heero looked at him. 'He knows something,' thought Heero.  
  
"What are you going to do?" asked Angie.  
  
"What do you mean?" said Milliardo.  
  
"Are you going to take everything that's she's worked for?" said Angie, "Because, it's really simple, and you would know how to do it."  
  
"We wouldn't do anything to hurt her. I would never do anything to her," insisted Milliardo who was getting on the defensive.   
  
"Yeah. Right. Don't you see how good she is? She is one of the best surgeons out of Saving Grace. I may have recommended her for the job, but she got that on her own. She did it all on her own. Sidney can't even be there for her patients. Because of you people disrupting her life!" yelled Angie.  
  
Chris looked around the room and realized something. 'They are doing the same thing we would do if Sidney left us. They are a lot like us. They care about her. They love her as much as we do,' thought Chris.  
  
"Angie, stop," said Chris in a quiet voice. The Gundam pilots looked at him. Heero didn't expect this.   
  
"Why? Chris, they are killing her slowly. You know that," said Angie. Everyone else's eyes widened.   
  
"What do you mean killing her?" asked Milliardo. Angie and Chris ignored his question.  
  
"Can't you see? This is wrong. We shouldn't have come here in the first place," said Chris.  
  
"You agreed to come down here," said Angie.  
  
"Open your eyes and look at them, Angie. They are doing the same thing we would do under their circumstances. They don't know why she left. Because she should do the talking for herself. We're here because we care, but it's still wrong," insisted Chris.  
  
"I don't care. I won't let them hurt her. I won't let them take her away from us," whispered Angie.  
  
"Sidney is not some thing we can play this stupid tug-a-war game with, Angie. Besides…." Chris said. Just then the door opened.  
  
Sidney was standing in the doorway.   
  
"Besides, Angie. I am perfectly capable of fighting my own battles," interrupted Sidney with a slight smile on her face.   
  
  
  



	25. Regretting Nothing - Part 25

Regretting Nothing - Part 25  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.   
  
Author's Note: Chris and Angie came to see all of the Gundam pilots and Milliardo. Chris tried to stop Angie from saying anything more. After all, this is Sidney's fight. Another long chapter. I also too the liberty of repairing another mistake. I fixed what I had called Miliardo and Relena's mother in Nightmares. I found out that her name was Katrina, but to fix it from Nightmares, I put Ophelia as her middle name.   
  
"Chris. Angie. Could you guys wait in the lobby for me?" asked Sidney.  
  
"But, Sidney…" started Angie.  
  
"It's alright. We'll be in the lobby. Isn't that right, Angie?" interrupted Chris. He took her arm. Angie tried to shake him off, but with no success.  
  
"Sid, we should stay. We're here for you," said Angie.  
  
"I know. But, this is something I have to do for myself. I'll be fine," reassured Sidney.  
  
"Okay. We'll be in the lobby," said Chris as he dragged Angie out of the room.  
  
"But…" she interrupted from the hall.  
  
Chris looked back into the room. He closed the door. Sidney walked back to the door, and locked it. Sidney was dressed in black pants with Doc Martens. Her shirt was a navy blue and long sleeve. She wore her black pea coat over it. Sidney didn't have much time before she realized she had to come there. She didn't realized that she couldn't make Angie and Chris fight for her. It was her own fight. Sidney realized this too late, and since her car wasn't there, she had to take a cab. This didn't give her enough time to use the make up she usually used to hid the lack of sleep that she always experiencing. Sidney definitely didn't want them to see it, but what choice did she have?  
  
"Hello, everyone. How have you been?" said Sidney, trying a to find a way to break the ice. This was the first time in five years, she had seen Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei face to face.  
  
"Is that all you can say, Relena? We've been worried about you for days," said Milliardo angrily. She ignored his comment.  
  
"Sidney, are you alright?" asked Quatre.  
  
"Yes. I feel great, Quatre. I haven't felt this good in a while," Sidney said with a genuine smile on her face. Everyone was surprised that she answered him. Suddenly, it clicked. She wasn't responding to her old name, it was her new name.  
  
"Sid, have you been getting enough sleep lately?" asked Duo with concern.  
  
"No. I haven't. But, you should have already know that. Look I am here because I am tired of playing this game with all of you," said Sidney with a sigh.  
  
"Chris and Angie were the only ones who agreed to see us because they were wanted to talk with us," said Milliardo.  
  
"I should have told them to stay back. But, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was stuck somewhere else for a while. They can't fight my battles for me. I am through letting others fight for me. I also realized that not everything is my fault. Some of it is, but not all of it. And that there is nothing we can do about the past. We can't control it like the future. Even then, we don't know what the future will be," said Sidney thoughtful as she played with one of the earrings in her right ear.  
  
None of the people in the room could say anything to that comment. Heero looked at her. He realized then that the person who was standing there was the real Relena Darlian Peacecraft, so to speak. This is the person that could have developed right in front of them given the chance.   
  
"I forgot about my skills as a diplomat. I feel foolish about that. One should never forget old skills in favor of learning new ones. Therefore, I am willing to negotiate," said Sidney in a clear voice. She had walked up to her brother. Milliardo looked her in the eye. Their eyes were about eye level to each other.   
  
"Angela Hart said that you were one of the best. I am very proud of you…Sidney. You excel at everything you do," compliment Milliardo.  
  
"Not everything. I am a good doctor. In all the time I have ever practice, I have only lost one patient. Thus far, that is," Sidney said in a soft voice.  
  
"Davenport? That was the first patient you couldn't save," said Milliardo. "No wonder, it wasn't a really good time to talk to you."  
  
"I have learned that wasn't my fault. There was nothing I could do. I can't play God. I do my best and that's all I can hope for. I should stop feeling sorry for myself. It's pathetic and a waste of my time. Things could be worse. I could be dead. However, I also have learned not to keep things bottled up inside. It's unhealthy. I have also learned that I have to say what I want, and take it by force if necessary," said Sidney. She had a gleam in her eye. Her body was position not to attack, but to defend.  
  
'What is it you want?" asked Milliardo. He always thought that he knew what she wanted. He made it a point to anticipate his sister's needs. He realized that he wasn't doing that if she was fighting him.   
  
"I want my life back. I want what I have earned. You people lost the right the interfere in my life. You shouldn't have in the first place. This is my home now. This is where I belong. There are other people who really need me. Besides, life goes on. The world didn't collapse when I left, it progressed. No one is totally indispensable," said Sidney as she made a gesture while looking out of the window at the city below.  
  
"Dr. Hart said that we were killing you slowly. What did she mean?" asked Trowa in a soft voice. It seemed as if everyone had forgotten that. Sidney looked at him. She turned her attention back to the window, and folded her arms over her chest.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Woman? I know you are strong, but you are being weaken by something that you are hiding," said Wufei.  
  
"First of all, I have a name. You can even call me Relena, but don't call me Woman. It's disrespectful," corrected Sidney. Everyone was surprised. Most women accepted it when Wufei called them "Women" or "Woman." They never corrected him, but they gave him funny looks. Wufei looked mildly surprise.  
  
"Let's just say that the lack of sleep has something to do with it. And I'll be taking care of that soon enough," Sidney said in a final tone about the subject. There was no reason for them to know about the nightmares. They might know about the insomnia, but they didn't have to know about depression. It was something that she could take care of. With some help from Chris and Angie. But, they were a problem that she had to handle on her own without them.  
  
"You said that you were willing to negotiate," said Heero in a quiet voice. Sidney looked at him. And nodded.  
  
"First, let make me one point clear to all of you. I will not let you take any part of me. I'd like to know why you want me back at all. I have followed Wei Robinson's career since he was elected. He's done a better job than me. He obviously loves that job, while I grew to hate it . I'll use my diplomatic skills, but they are a little rusty. Since, we can't pretend none of this ever happened, I am willing to talk. I can't let you people haunt me for the rest of my life," said Sidney with a firm confident voice.   
  
"We won't take away anything you have worked for. But, we would like to know why you left," said Milliardo there was a touch of pleading on his voice.   
  
"Here is the short answer for now: I wasn't happy. That's it. Milliardo meet me tomorrow at the lobby at ten, here. Be prepared to spend the day with me. I'll talk to you first. I am really tired. I have to get some sleep. Please," said Sidney.   
  
Milliardo looked at her. He was worried about her not sleeping very well. So, he nodded. Heero noticed that she was going to talk to him first. That she was willing to talk to him. 'Maybe, she'll talk to me, too,' thought Heero as he looked at her. She needed some sleep.   
  
"Fine. I'll be at the lobby at ten. Thank you, Sidney," said Milliardo, "Where will you be from now till then?"  
  
"At Chris's place," answered Sidney. There was nothing wrong with telling them.  
  
"Wait. I just have to ask," Quatre said quietly.  
  
"What?" asked Sidney looking at him.   
  
"Why do you have so many earrings on one ear?" asked Quatre. Sidney smile and touched all the earring at once.  
  
"When I was with the Physician Fliers, I was flying a helicopter. There was another pilot, Duncan, who had a bunch of earrings. Nine total, if I remember correctly. I asked him about them. He said that they represent each place he had been on rotation. I thought that was an interesting way of remembering. So, I decided to do that after each rotation, as way to celebrate. I did four rotations, as you probably already know. It was either that or get a tattoo. But, I didn't want to mutilate my body that way," Sidney finished with a good real laugh. The rest of the Gundam pilots looked at her. It has been a while since they were all in the same place with her laughing. Milliardo had a soft smile on his face. Heero smiled on the inside. Sidney kept on smiling.  
  
"Each earring represents my freedom, Quatre. Together, they all represent who I am. I know that it sounds weird. Anyway, I have to go. See you tomorrow, Milliardo." Sidney left the room still smiling.   
  
***  
  
When Sidney got down to the lobby, Angie started to question her. But, Sidney didn't give much away. Chris had questions too, but kept them to himself. He noticed that she was a lot happier, then she had been in days. As if there was some great weight lifted off of her shoulders.   
  
Sidney also said that she would meet with Milliardo tomorrow. Angie began to protest, but Chris stopped her. When they got back to Chris' place, they spent the day there. They talked and played pool. Then, Angie brought up the subject about the prescriptions. Both she and Chris, apologized about them. Sidney said it was alright. That she would have probably done the same, if she were in their positions. When Sidney found out that Quatre was the one who told Chris about them, Sidney just smiled. Sidney got worried about Angie for filling the prescriptions, but Angie reassured her that nothing was going to happen. Angie said that Sidney didn't have to take the pills for the depression because they weren't going to fix things. Sidney agreed with her. She agreed to take the sleeping pills.   
  
At about ten, Angie gave Sidney some sleeping pills, so that she could get some sleep for tomorrow. Angie stayed with her until midnight in a chair, but Chris came and told Angie to sleep in his bed. He took over for the rest of the night.   
  
***  
  
Milliardo was at the lobby a half hour early. He knew that he was early, but he wanted to be there. He gave strict orders that no one is to follow them today. Milliardo looked forward to spending the day with his sister. Sidney showed up at ten minutes till the hour. She was wearing jeans, a white tee shirt, a jean jacket, and a pair sunglasses. Sidney also wore a pair of black sneakers. She took off her sunglasses, and revealed her sparkling blue eyes. Milliardo actually dressed casually. Which was strange for him.   
  
"Hi. Did you wait long? I had to get my car back, and there was some traffic," said Sidney with a small smile on her face.  
  
"No. Actually, I came down much earlier than I had to," revealed Milliardo.  
  
"Oh. Well good, you are wearing walking shoes. We'll be spending the day on foot. We'll get to spend more time, and get some talking done that way," said Sidney noticing his attire, "I hope you don't mind."  
  
"I don't mind. Were you able to get some sleep last night?" asked Milliardo.  
  
"Yes. Thanks for asking. Have you ever seen this city?" asked Sidney.  
  
"No. Not really," admitted Milliardo.  
  
"Well, then I'll give you a tour. I've only been living here for a little while compared to most people, but I know the sights," said Sidney. Milliardo and Sidney walked out of the hotel together.  
  
They spent the day together. The first place that they saw was the Smithsonian Museum because Sidney loved the stuff in there, and she thought that Milliardo would find it fascinating. They had lunch together at the old Hard Rock Café. As they walked along, they bought each other things.   
  
It was an odd thing. Before, they looked like strangers. Now, for the first time, Milliardo and Sidney actually looked like siblings. They talked leisurely about their lives. Sidney asked about Lena and Nion. Milliardo was happy to report that they were fine. Milliardo asked about Sidney's schooling. He also asked about stories about being a doctor in the Physicians Fliers. Milliardo was impressed. He smirked at Sidney comment that she couldn't cook, and was constantly teased about it. Milliardo admitted that he couldn't cook much either, and commented that it might be genetics. They looked like tourists in downtown D.C. They saw the other sights of the D.C. They even went to the zoo. Milliardo bought Sidney a stuffed panda. Sidney bought a stuff kangaroo for Milliardo to give to Lena.   
  
Milliardo and Sidney had ice cream cones. They carried their bags and talked while having the ice cream. Sidney give information about the sights that she was showing. Milliardo commented on being impressed at her knowledge about the city. Sidney shrugged her shoulders and said that it was important to know where one lived. Milliardo found something that Sidney didn't know about. It was where the old embassy of the Sanc Kingdom was.  
  
"You mean that's where it used to be. Before, the Sanc Kingdom was destroyed?," said Sidney. The building had a beautifully architecture.  
  
"Yes. It's been closed for years. I think it's now a library for European history. Maybe, someday, we'll have a new embassy," said Milliardo.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Sidney.  
  
"I have been in talks with Minister Robinson about doing restoration to the Sanc Kingdom. Not to reestablish the monarchy, but to restore it to the people. Many people were displaced after what had happened," said Milliardo.  
  
"I am surprised. I didn't know about that."  
  
"You mean that Christopher Ryan didn't say anything to you about it? I should have known he wouldn't have."  
  
"Chris does that. He likes to keep information. He probably thought that I wouldn't care."  
  
"Yes. He would make a good soldier. Chris is an honorable man. Chris strikes me as the type whose always planning."  
  
"Chris is. He likes to be ahead of the game. That's what makes him the best in his field. What do you think of Angie? I hope you're kind. She is also my best friend, after all."  
  
"I don't blame her. Dr. Hart is doing every thing to protect you. But, I do say she really doesn't think before she speaks."  
  
"It appears that way. Angie picks a side and fights for it. She doesn't care if it's the wrong side. Chris analyzes things, so he's more rational. For the most part."  
  
"Qautre told me about the grades. Are you upset about it?"  
  
"Not really. We forgave him for it. He knows that he'll pay for it for the rest of his life, through doing things for us. By being there. Besides, I lied too. No one is perfect."  
  
"Why did you leave? You could have become anything you wanted to be at home. You didn't have to quit."  
  
"I told you the short answer. I guess it's time for the long answer. Let's sit down somewhere. And we'll talk," said Sidney.  
  
They found a park and sat on a park bench. It was pretty quiet where they were. They put the bags down. Sidney looked on ahead. Milliardo listened as she started.  
  
"I wasn't happy. I felt like the job was just a job. There was nothing to it. I was bored, and I felt empty inside. My mother wrote me and said that she was dying. I couldn't believe it at first. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before she died. I also began to question things about my life."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, why was I doing a job that was making me unhappy? And….why I was always being left behind."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Everyone was always leaving, Milliardo. You did it. You left me with the Darlians. I asked you not to leave, but you did anyway," said Sidney in a soft voice.  
  
"But, I had to. I thought that you would understand that, " said Milliardo. He suddenly remembered her saying something about him leaving like he always did.   
  
"You left again to be the leader of the White Fang. You kept saying that it was for me. I find that a little hard to believe."  
  
"I did it for you. I was making the world for you. I thought that I owed you that much."  
  
"Do you know how much it hurt when I found out that Nion had left, and that you were still alive? You didn't even contact me. Codename Preventer Wind."  
  
"You knew about that? Of course, you did. Relena, I mean, Sidney, I didn't think you would care. I didn't follow the code that our father had set out. I thought that I would disappoint you."  
  
"We were just children when all that happened, Milliardo. We saw things we should have never seen. We should have grown up together. Life isn't fair. I know that much," whispered Sidney. She didn't want to tell them about their father. Not right then anyway.  
  
"I was very sorry to hear about Mrs. Darlian. She was a wonderful mother. A great woman," said Milliardo with reverence. He had to honor the woman who raised his sister.  
  
"Yes. She was. She taught me to be strong. She told me not to cry when she was dying. That's why when she died, I still called their home, theirs. I don't like the idea that both of them are gone. But, it's something that I have learned to accept. I missed my parents very much. I also miss our parents, even if I never really got to know them, " admitted Sidney in soft voice. Milliardo rubbed her shoulder, and she let him.   
  
"I am so sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I should have known better," said Milliardo.  
  
"I should have said something. But, I didn't want to complain. Besides, I wanted to get back at you guys for leaving without a word. The way you did when we were little."  
  
"I didn't turn my back then because I was a child myself. I had to grow up and be a man right then and there. I didn't want you to see me cry. I heard you, Sidney. It broke my heart. I knew that was hurting you. I thought that you would forget me. Maybe, if I never came back into your life, it would have been much better."  
  
"No. Never say that, Milliardo. You should have been there in the first place. But, I forgive you for that. You left. You had to something about Papa and Mama's death. But, if you never came back, then I would feel like something was missing. I would rather feel hurt, then a void inside."   
  
"I didn't know that your feeling were hurt because Nion left."  
  
"I was hurt because I thought I was her friend. I also thought she should have told me. I forgive her, too. I still don't understand why she followed you like that. Maybe, it's because she loves you so much. However, I bend for no man. Not even for you, big brother," said Sidney with a smile on her face.  
  
"I can see that," said Milliardo a wry smile played on his lips. Sidney playfully punched his arm. He pretended that she hurt him. They both laughed at this.  
  
"Do you know what made me suddenly what to talk to all of you? It was because I couldn't stand what was happening to me. I was depressed. I couldn't think straight. I didn't like the fact that I was reverting back to the old Relena. So, I decided to take you guys head on."  
  
"You outsmarted us. You should be proud of yourself. I bet you got a lot of satisfaction out of that. My pride got hurt because my baby sister is obviously smarter than me," said Milliardo with a real smile on his face. He had admired the woman she had become. But, that didn't mean he still couldn't call her that. He saw their father's wisdom in her. He thought about how much she looked like Queen Katrina Ophelia Peacecraft of the Sanc Kingdom. Sidney laughed at his comment. Her laughter was something that he had missed. He had missed his sister very much.  
  
"There is so much to talk about, but I think we did pretty well for one afternoon. Didn't we, Milly?" said Sidney as she tugged at the sleeve of Milliardo's shirt. He suddenly remembered her doing that when she was learning how to walk. She used him as support. He was worried about her falling down. He would always catch her before she fell. He smiled at the memory.   
  
"We should do this more often. I can't remember when I've had a less stressful day. Besides, I need an advisor. You wouldn't have to quit being a doctor. You shouldn't," Milliardo agreed with a smile, "Those people need to know that there is a great doctor in that ER."  
  
"I'll think about it. Probably, not. But, we can still talk. Maybe, someday I'll tell you everything," said Sidney. Her brother gave her a hug. She hugged him back.   
  
There was still a lot of healing to do. But, she was on the road to recovery. They talked some more. Sidney made a tentative date to go to Milliardo's house in Paris. Milliardo wanted her to meet Lena, and so did she. Milliardo said that Nion and Lena should come to D.C. before then, so that they could show them the sites. But, of course, it depended on Sidney's schedule at the ER. As far as Milliardo was concerned, he was willing to do anything to accommodate his sister to his schedule. They went back to the hotel on foot, and later had dinner together in Sidney's favorite outdoor café.   
  
***  
  
Life fell back into place. Milliardo ordered that the surveillance be lifted. Most of the Gundam pilots were happy to get back to their lives. Duo's deal went through. Quatre thought it was a good investment, and invested. He also wondered why Duo didn't come to him in the first place. Duo shrugged, and said that there were already a lot of people who asked Quatre for things, and that he didn't want to be one of them. Quatre made fun of him, saying that Duo tried to keep him away from a good investment. Trowa got home to the circus in time, to be yelled at by Catherine. Her husband was there, but she wanted her brother to be there also. Trowa was now the proud uncle of a baby boy. Wufei went back to the University of Tokyo and was able to catch up with all his work. Quatre went back to Cambridge and was able to do the same.   
  
There was only one Gundam pilot who wasn't back at work like normal. And that was Heero. He still had to talk to Sidney. Throughout this whole thing, he had learned some things about himself. He wasn't sure about his feelings, so he needed to talk to her.   
  
Sidney was coming back from the ER at around eleven at night about a week after things went back to normal. The ER was happy to have her back. So, she was happily walking to the parking lot. Today had been a good day. She had delivered a baby, saved a boy who almost died from pneumonia, and other good things. As she walked to the parking lot, she heard someone following her. It was late, and she had to be prepared to protect herself just in case. So, she turned.   
  
It was Heero. He lifted his arms up a little bit to show who he was. Sidney stopped in her tracks.  
  
"We need to talk," said Heero in a soft voice.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	26. Regretting Nothing - Part 26

Regretting Nothing - Part 26  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. And if I make a mistake on something (say, accidentally, with Zechs' mobile suit) only they have the right to sue. Even then, it's still an honest mistake. Written by someone after 12:00 am.  
  
Author's Note: Sidney finally decided to fight smart. She is now thinking clearly and rationally. This is the second to last part of the series. Heero should still be in character, but maybe a little out of character.  
  
"What is there for us to talk about, Heero?" asked Sidney. She didn't know why he needed to talk to her. He never sought her out to talk before. He looked for her to save her, but never to talk to her.  
  
"A lot has happened. I mean over the last five years. You've changed a lot. I haven't changed that much," said Heero in a quiet voice. Since, it was the evening there was very little going on at the parking lot at that hour. So, they had all the privacy they needed.  
  
"Heero, you are right there is a lot that's happened," whispered Sidney.  
  
Heero was grateful that she was talking to him, and didn't tell him to go to Hell again. As far as he was concerned, he already had been through enough Hell. He looked into her blue eyes, and they were very clear. They looked beautiful under the moonlight. Her skin looked so soft. He wanted to touch her. To make sure that she was real.  
  
"Heero, you said that we needed to talk," whispered Sidney. He looked distant, but not the normal distant, Sidney had prior experience to.   
  
"Do you know how long I kept looking for you? I kept going even after Milliardo had to give up to be with his family," said Heero.   
  
"How long?" asked Sidney. She didn't waste any time hacking through the Preventers' files like Chris.  
  
"For two years after you disappeared," Heero confessed. He had missed her all the time that he had been looking for her. Even after that.   
  
"The person you are looking for no longer exists," Sidney informed him. "She died to so that she can live somehow."  
  
"I realized something that day that you came to talk with us. I figured out that the person who I see is the person I have been looking for all along. You've grown up. But, I am sad to say that I didn't," said Heero.   
  
"I think you grew up a little bit. But, then again you were always acting like you were going on thirty, Heero," said Sidney with no humor in her voice.  
  
That was true. Heero never had a childhood. He had lost his parents like her. She was lucky enough to remember them. Loved enough to have another set. Heero never really had anyone in his life. When Relena had left, he felt like he had lost part of himself. She was the person in his life.  
  
"Dr. Sidney Marquette is the person Relena Darlian Peacecraft should have eventually grown up to be in the first place. But, I would still like to know why you left, I think there was a lot more to what you said earlier. Milliardo never said anything when he came back," said Heero.  
  
"You still know me pretty well. I left because everyone else had left too. I felt entitled to leave as well. You left right after the trouble with the Barton Foundation," said Sidney as she closed her eyes, and let out a sigh.  
  
"I had to go on another mission. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry about me. I never understood why you cared about me so much in the first place," Heero whispered.   
  
"Because it seemed like no one else did, it's not right to live in this world without anyone," said Sidney. Her breathing was steady.  
  
"But, you were the first one to really care," said Heero. "I see the person before as someone I can be with."  
  
Sidney didn't react to this at all. Heero leaned forward, and tilted up her chin so that she could look him directly into his Prussian blue eyes. Heero traced his finger along her chin. His thumb touch her lips for a brief moment. Heero decided to something that he had never done before, dropped his hand, and Sidney stayed in place looking at him. He leaned forward to kiss her.  
  
He was stopped by her soft finger tips. Heero pulled back for a little bit. He looked surprised. Sidney pulled her hand down, and stepped away from him.  
  
Sidney looked at him with a frighten look on her face. Heero felt like punching himself for moving too fast.   
  
"I can't play this game anymore, Heero. I have to move on with my life. We both do. We have to let go," whispered Sidney. It sounded like a plea.  
  
"It was never a game, Relena. I mean Sidney. You can change your name, but you can hide who you are. I let you go one too many times, and I am sorry," Heero said a little louder.  
  
Sidney didn't say anymore. She turned away from him, and walked to the car.  
  
Heero then had an epiphany. He suddenly realized what had cause all the trouble during this mission. Why he was doom to fail in the first place. He became conscious of why he had a lot of trouble with Chris. Heero knew that it was because of how he felt about her. He wasn't sure as to what those feelings were until this moment. It was something that he had felt all along. Heero decided now was the time to say it.  
  
"I love you," he said in an almost inaudible whisper.   
  
Sidney stopped. She had a stricken look on her face. Without turning she answered him.  
  
"There would have been a time when what you just said would have meant the world to me. I don't know if it's good enough anymore," she said. She walked away from him.   
  
***  
  
Things seem alright for the time being. Chris however felt that there was something wrong with Sidney still. Like there was something missing. He made it a point to be in tune with her feelings. Angie thought everything was fine, but Chris had his doubts. So, about a week after Sidney had run in to Heero in the parking lot, he decided to pay her a visit at her apartment.  
  
"Hi Chris. How are you?" said Sidney as she hugged and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Hi Sidney. I am fine, but I need to talk to you about some thing," said Chris as he hugged and gave her a kiss on the cheek.   
  
"What about?" asked Sidney. She was still smiling. But, Chris could see through her.  
  
"I feel like something has happened. Let's not play any guessing games, Sid. I know that everything with your brother is great now. Or at least getting better. But, it's like something that is missing," said Chris.  
  
"There's nothing I can hide from you, but everything is fine. I am feeling much better," insisted Sidney.  
  
"You only talked about what happened with your brother. But, you never talked about Heero Yuy," said Chris.  
  
She stopped. She didn't think that Chris would think of Heero.  
  
"I don't want to talk about him," Sidney whispered.   
  
"Ah. Something did happen," said Chris knowingly. He knew her better than anyone.  
  
"I saw Heero about a week ago," said Sidney, "He said we had to talk. And we did. That's it."  
  
"That's all? What did he say?" asked Chris.  
  
"He said that he loves me," Sidney admitted in a whisper.   
  
"I knew that he did. He had to. No one does things like that without a really good reason. The things people do for love," Chris said with a sigh.   
  
Sidney looked at him. He was right Heero did a lot of things that wasn't normal for him. But, then again, she hasn't dealt with him for the past five years. It was true he had change.  
  
"Well, did you say you love him back?" asked Chris after much silence.  
  
"No. I don't know what I think," said Sidney looking at her hands.   
  
"You didn't say that you love him. Have you lost your mind?" exclaimed Chris. He couldn't believe it.  
  
"What are you a mind reader? I am having a hard enough time as it is," said Sidney defensively.   
  
"Why didn't you?" asked Chris.  
  
"I don't know," answered Sidney.  
  
"I think I know why," said Chris.  
  
"Okay, Mr. Know-it-all, give me your answer because I am stumped," said Sidney with resignation. She folded her arms over her chest.  
  
"You are afraid that he'll take off again," said Chris with a smug look on his face.  
  
Sidney froze. She had to sit down on the couch, and Chris sat next to her. He was looking at her reaction. How could Chris figure out what Sidney had been thinking about for seven days in less than five minutes?  
  
"I think that Heero deserves a break. The guy needs a chance. That's all he's probably what he's asking for Sidney. Give the guy a break. You are being cruel," said Chris.  
  
"I am being cruel. He was the one who kept threatening me and leaving me behind," said Sidney with a touch of anger in her voice. Chris was getting on her nerves. How does he know her better than she knows herself?  
  
"Then be the bigger person, and forgive him. Show him how to be a good person. You did it before," said Chris with a smile on his face.  
  
"It's too much work. I can't take it anymore. I just want my life back to normal," said Sidney.  
  
"Sidney, you know that you love him. Otherwise, you wouldn't feel so hurt," Chris said with a tender tone in his voice. "It's not because he's a guy, and I have to side with him. He is a good person. You may not believe. He may not believe, but he's a good guy. I believe that he's a good guy. He's a lot like me. I want what's best for you. I want you to be happy."  
  
"I don't think I can trust him. I don't even trust myself," Sidney said in a soft voice.  
  
"You said that you trust me. That you trust me and Angie above everyone else. Then, trust me, when I tell you this. Can't you see that you've already won this? That you just didn't win…you won on your own terms. You said that you never wanted to regret anything in your life. Well, if you let this go without a good reason. You will regret this," said Chris in a solemn firm voice.  
  
Chris sighed. Sidney can be very stubborn if she wanted to be, so he continued.  
  
"I think that Heero Yuy has too much to lose this time. I promise you. He can't leave this time. He knows how much he has to lose. He can't afford to lose. It's not his mission to have you in his life. I know that you've been hurt before, and that's also your fear. I'll be there always, just in case. But, I don't think you'll need me to be there for that. Because It's not going to happen. Let me say this again so that you hear me: HE LOVES YOU. Don't let it slip away without giving it a chance. You said that you don't want to be afraid to live your life. But, this is a big one. This is a big chance. Take this chance, you've never been afraid to take a chance. Don't be now. I think the odds are good for both of you. You think he'll leave again. But, please if you have no faith in him or yourself…have faith in me. Trust me. Just talk to him. For me," Chris said earnestly.   
  
Sidney looked at him. Chris was someone who always knew about such things. He was her eyes when she couldn't see things clearly. Just like she was for him.   
  
"I love you very much, Chris. You are my best friend," said Sidney in a soft voice.  
  
"I know you do. I love you, too. But, you are IN love with Heero. And I love you enough to want you to be happy," said Chris with a tender smile on his face.   
  
Sidney leaned forward on the couch and gave him a soft fleeting closed-mouthed kiss on the lips. Chris smiled back at her.  
  
"I can still tell that you don't know what you are going to do, but at least I was able to help you, Sidney," said Chris with a big smile on his face. "I will always care about you and love you."  
  
"Me, too. Thank you," said Sidney.  
  
They talked a while longer. They talked about the plans that Sidney had made to meet with Milliardo later on that month. However, they didn't talk anymore about Heero that night. Chris knew that Sidney had to sort it out on her own.  
  
Chris got up to leave. He was up to the door, and had already said goodbye. But, Sidney had to say something else.  
  
"If it wasn't Heero, it would be you, Chris," said Sidney in a quiet, firm, an eternally honest tone.  
  
Chris gave her a soft smile, and closed the door behind him.   
  
Sidney spent the night thinking about everything. She put everything into perspective. Her decision had to be made.  
  
Author's Note: This is up to you folks. It always bugged me that the Anime girl always tends to (but not all the time) go for the first guy she meets. I just can't think of an exception right now. In this case, it's Heero and Relena. Case in point: in Fushigi Yuugi, there was Tamahome, then three perfectly good choices come along. Namely, Hotohori who was an excellent choice, who had been in love with Miaka longer, even before he had met her. Although, I still like Tamahome. I've had a problem with it. It depends on who the anime girl meets first.  
  
However, here's your chance to participate in my story. For all of you who reviewed, thanks for your opinions. For the many of you who all read it, thank you for keeping up. Now, I have a website. There is a poll to see who Relena should be with. Heero or Chris? There is also the vote where she is independent enough to be on her own. You can vote for that if you wish.   
  
There are some other choices thrown, but won't really count. I think that It's only fair to let you, the reader, decided. But, for whomever wins the vote out, I'll write the ending. I have a fair idea who will win this, but I won't say. It's up to you. Consider your choice carefully. If you have to reread the story, do it. But you don't have to. It's a democracy.   
  
Go the website:  
  
http://www.dreamwater.org/animelunacy.  
  
Go to the guest book. Please sign it, and then go down to "Cast your Ballots" and vote. You can give your reason why in the guest book. But, if you don't want to vote, then you don't have to. However, if you don't like the outcome of the story, don't blame me. Blame the people who voted. Also, you may say who you want in the review, but in order for it to be official you must vote at the site. I know it's a tricky way to get you to come over, but what I really want is just something for the guest book. I guarantee you it will be a fairer vote than the American Presidential elections. I'll see you all in one week. Don't worry after the ending is posted, the poll will still be present. My roommate cut the vote after one week, so that the vote remains as it should be. Sorry about the long wait, but I want anyone who wants to vote to able to. Don't forget me! Later! =^._.^=   



	27. Regretting Nothing - Part 27

Regretting Nothing - Part 27  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. So, there. :-P  
  
Heero had decided to get back to work at the Preventers Headquarters. It was all that he could do. If Sidney was happier without him, then he would have to accept that. He blamed himself for letting go of the best thing in his life in the first place. He deserved whatever fate he had received.   
  
Milliardo was on good terms with his sister. They called each other often. Eventually, Quatre confessed about the prescriptions. Everyone was surprised. Milliardo thought that he was going to seriously hurt Quatre for withholding important information. Heero wasn't mad at him. Quatre told his reasons why he kept it a secret, Heero thought that it was a good thing that Quatre did for Sidney. Heero knew that Quatre did something honorable. That it wasn't really anything against Heero, and that it was for Sidney.   
  
Heero found out that the person who had helped Sidney was Chris. Heero thought that Chris was a better man than him. Heero avoided talking to Chris, but thanked him mentally. Milliardo personally thanked Chris for helping Sidney. Chris insisted that Sidney helped herself, and would not give any other information. Milliardo wondered what else was Sidney had kept from him, but remembered that she would tell him everything someday. Milliardo decided to wait. Quatre hired Chris to do some work in one of the companies within the Winner Family business empire. Chris was happy to do the job for him. Duo tried to convince Chris to join the Preventers with the help of Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei, but Chris declined. He said it wasn't anything personally, but he didn't like to work for government offices. Now, the Gundam pilots had another friend. But, Chris was still Sidney's best friend just the same.  
  
Angie was happy things were much better. She met with Sally Po at the medical offices at the Preventers. Sally got to hear first hand stories about Sidney's feats as a doctor. The stories that Sidney herself wouldn't say. Sidney also got to talk to her niece, Lena, on the videophone. Lena commented that Sidney was a "pretty lady." Milliardo agreed with his daughter.   
  
Sidney thought of all the things that Chris had said. Chris didn't talk further about her and Heero. But, she could tell that he wondered if she would ever call him. Angie was still suspicious about the Gundam pilots and Milliardo. However, she accepted them because both Chris and Sidney were happy. Sidney's life was secured, and the hospital never knew about her other identity. Chris made sure that all the computer records would reflect that. Life was slipping back into place. Well, most things.  
  
***  
  
Heero was currently in his office. He was typing the final report on the case involving Sidney/Relena. The case of her disappearance was now marked closed. Since, he was on the case the longest, and he was in charge of the surveillance, it was his duty to do the paperwork. Lady Une was wondering whether or not to assign him to go on a mission, but she decided to wait until Heero turned in his official report.  
  
Heero finished typing the last part of the report. He stretched out his fingers, and stretched the rest of his body in his chair. Heero let out a sigh. He wondered how Sidney was doing. Heero took out his wallet, and opened it. He took out the picture he had of Sidney in his wallet, the one from Chris' office. Chris didn't mention it to Sidney, at least he didn't think so. Otherwise, Sidney would have brought it up. Heero looked Sidney's delicate features, he traced his finger along her face. He put the picture back into his wallet, and closed it. Heero got out of his chair, and walked to the window in his office.   
  
Heero looked out the window, and he thought about Sidney. He still didn't know why she wouldn't give him a chance to let him love her. Heero felt so stupid. How could he not realize that he loved her before she left? 'Because you didn't think she'd love you back. But, you're right because she doesn't want to be with you,' said a small voice in Heero's head. He shook his head. It was that voice of doubt that came only in regards to Sidney. He was sure about everything else in his life. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.  
  
Heero opened his eyes. He got his Preventer's jacket off the back of his chair, and put it on. He turned off his computer, and left his office. Duo saw Heero leave from his office, which was next to Heero's.  
  
"Where are you going, Heero?" asked Duo.  
  
"Out," said Heero.  
  
"On another mission?" inquired Duo.  
  
"No. Something more important," answered Heero.   
  
Duo let him go without asking any more questions. He wondered what could be more important to Heero than a mission.  
  
Heero went to his black BMW and drove to his apartment, and picked up some things. He went to the airport to catch a flight to Washington D.C. 'I have to show her. I can't just say that I love her. I have to prove it. I have to show that it's enough. I have to try at least one more time,' thought Heero as he boarded his plane.  
  
***  
  
Heero had arrived in Washington D.C. Early in the morning because of the time change. He first went to Sidney's apartment, and found that she wasn't there. Neither was her car. Heero didn't think of checking if she was on at the ER. He checked with his laptop, and found out that she wasn't on. Heero decided that Chris or Angie might know where she was or that she might even be with them. Heero called Angie first hoping that she would say where Sidney was, but Angie wasn't at her lab or at her home. So, Heero had no choice, but to call Chris. He first called Chris' office, but found out that Chris was at home. Finally, Heero called Chris' apartment.  
  
"Hello. Oh. It's you. Hi, Heero," greeted Chris with a friendly grin on his face.   
  
"Hello, Ryan. I was looking for Sidney," said Heero in a cautious voice.   
  
"I knew you would. Why else would you call me?" said Chris with a bigger smile on his face. Heero thought that Chris knew something, but ignored it.   
  
"Well?" asked Heero.  
  
"Sidney went to the beach early this morning. Right after dawn. It's Virginia Beach. Take the freeway directions that are probably on your computer, and take the fifth exit. Her car should be parked there. She loves that part of the beach. Bye," said Chris as he closed the connection. Heero didn't have time to thank him. Chris turned and saw that Angie was looking at him as if she were mad at him. Angie had been with Chris all morning. They had breakfast at the restaurant in Chris' apartment building. They had invited Sidney along, but she declined saying that she wanted to go to the beach, and think for a while.   
  
"Why did you tell him where to find her?" asked Angie in strained voice of disbelief.  
  
"Can't you see? It's because they belong together," said Chris with a smile on his face.  
  
***  
  
Heero drove his car out of Washington D.C. and into Virginia. He drove using the directions in the rental car's computer, and took the fifth exit as Chris had instructed him to do. Heero thought that maybe Chris was lying, and covering for Sidney. But, it didn't seem like that. For some strange reason Heero actually trusted Chris.  
  
Heero saw a silver Mercedes, Sidney's car. He parked the rental car next to it. The parking spots were on leveled ground that led to stairs to the beach below. There was a little breeze, and the air was clear. Heero saw the blue water everywhere. It was beautiful.   
  
There was a tall honey blond haired woman standing on the beach. She was wearing a gray-blue imperial waistline dress with spaghetti straps. The dress was long almost up to her ankles. There was design of eyelet lace at the top part of the dress. There wasn't any slits in the dress because the dress skirt was long and flowing. Her short hair fluttered in the soft breeze for a moment. She pushed back a lock of hair behind her ear. She wasn't wearing any jewelry. Not even her earrings. Her face was clean, and she wore no make up. There were no circles under her eyes. She was absolutely natural and healthy. Her hand was over her eyes to shield them from the sun. Her delicate feet were bare on the sand. She was stretching out her toes like a child would do the first time he or she was at the beach. Feeling the sand between her toes, with a childlike curiosity. She looked pristine, serene, untouchable, and calm. Above all peaceful.   
Like a child who's innocence was still ever present. She looked like she was surveying the sea.  
  
She was an ethereal angel. Someone who wasn't of this world, but, perhaps of Heaven itself.   
  
Heero was looking at her. He was unsure if he should interrupt her reverie. He didn't want to disrupt her moment in the sun. There was a soft smile on her face. Heero smiled. He decided to join her. He went back to the car, and took off his shoes and socks. He took off his black leather jacket, and placed it in the car. He was wearing a plain white shirt. He unbutton the cuffs, rolled up his sleeves a little bit, and he untucked his shirt. He was wearing black slacks, which he left loose. Heero walked down the stairs and onto the beach. He walked up to her slowly.   
  
Sidney turned her head and looked at him. She turned and walked away. Heero looked at her, but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to. Heero just wanted to look at her. He didn't want to ruin the moment, but speaking. Sidney stopped and looked at him. Heero realized that Sidney wanted him to walk with her. So, Heero walked with her.   
  
They walked along the shoreline in silence. Heero let his arms hang at his sides. As a gesture to allow her to take his hand as they walked together. But, Sidney kept her hands folded behind her back. Heero admired her as they walked along. Heero and Sidney enjoyed each other's company in silence. He loved her even more as they walked. Heero mesmerized by her movements. He longed to touch her, but he knew that she probably didn't want to be touch. They walked together for about an hour. The trail that they took, took them back to the beginning. It was a full circle. Sidney let out a sigh.   
  
"You know what I said before. I meant it," said Heero in an intense low voice. He didn't want to repeat the words because of her last reaction to them before. She looked at him, and then out at the water.  
  
"I guess we both had to grow up someday. Do you remember the first time we met?" asked Sidney with nostalgia in her voice.   
  
"Yes. It was on a beach. A lot like this one," answered Heero. He had a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.   
  
"I still love the beach. Even before I met you. Even long after I left. Do you know why?" questioned Sidney. Heero shook his head.   
  
"Because, just think…look out there. There must have been hundreds of ships and other things that have past through, and yet it still looks just the same. There are storms and hard waves, but it still looks the way it did when people hundreds of years ago saw it," said Sidney in a soft voice.  
  
"Things change, but stay the same," said Heero.   
  
"You are still wondering why I left. I told you that I did because all of you had left. That's not the only reason. That's why I was so upset when you assumed you were the reason why I left," said Sidney.  
  
Heero smirked at this comment.  
  
"I left because I didn't know who I was. I thought that I was losing who I was, but then I realized that I never really knew who I was in the first place. I had to leave to find myself. To grow up. I didn't leave for anyone, but me, Heero. I am happy with the way I became. You left because you had to go on your missions. Can't you see it was my mission to learn about myself? I made it a point to learn as much as possible. To learn about the world. To see the world. To see what I can do," said Sidney in a clear-leveled voice.  
  
"I suppose you consider your mission accomplished. I am happy that I failed my mission. I was angry that you left without a word. I felt abandoned. Then, when you came to the hotel to talk to all of us, I realized that I was out to take you back without thinking about how much you had worked for your life. You had every right to fight back. I am just lucky that you are talking to me right now. I am sorry for everything," said Heero in a solemn voice.  
  
"Are you sorry about the cameras? Including the one in my bedroom," asked Sidney. She looked him in the eye.  
  
"Yes. I am sorry about that. I said that I was sorry about everything," answered Heero.  
  
"Where did you put that picture you took from Chris' office?" asked Sidney.  
  
Heero then mentally kicked himself. Of course, Chris would have told her about that. Heero took out his wallet, and opened it. He took out the picture.  
  
"You can have it back if you like," offered Heero in a soft voice. If she wanted to get out of her life forever, he had to let her have the picture back.  
  
"No. You can keep it. I don't need pictures of myself," said Sidney with a smile. She didn't seem surprise to know that Heero was carrying her picture in his wallet. She said nothing about him stealing it. Heero put the picture back, closed his wallet, and returned it to his pants pocket. They were standing still looking at the water. Heero committed all of this to memory. The way she looked. Her movements. The way eyes sparkled in the sun. The sound of her voice. Her smile.   
  
"I know that it hurt that I left you. Because I know how it feels like now. But, you were gone for five years. I guess, it better that you only left once, and didn't keep on leaving. You only left once without saying goodbye or anything. At least all the other times you left, you said something. No matter how much it stung," said Heero with serious look on his face.   
  
"I am sorry for what I said to you earlier. If it makes you feel better, I didn't mean it. I am sorry about everything, too. I was upset that you were following me and barging into my life," said Sidney with a tender smile on her lips.  
  
"Then, I deserved it. Everything. Even dealing with that computer virus of yours. Twice," admitted Heero. He smirked at the last comment.  
  
"Then, that makes us even," whispered Sidney. Sidney looked out at the blue water. Heero didn't know Sidney the way he used to, but he looked forward to getting to know her again. That is if he had the chance to. He waited for a sign.  
  
Sidney loosened her hands behind her back. Heero was standing next to her. Close, but not too close to her. Sidney reached out, and slipped her hand into his hand. Heero looked at her, and held her hand tightly, but tenderly.   
  
"You said something about negotiation. I hope that applies to me as well," whispered Heero.  
  
"It depends on the terms," answered Sidney looking at him.  
  
"I love you. I promise that I won't leave, if you won't leave," Heero said in soft, low voice.  
  
"I promise." Sidney whispered back to Heero.   
  
It was as simple as that.  
  
"Do you love me now?" asked Heero in a soft voice.  
  
"I love you. I always have. I never stopped," confessed Sidney.   
  
Heero slide his hand up her arm away from her hand. His hand was on her upper arm in firm gentle grip. He stepped closer to her. Heero pulled her into an embrace. Sidney rested her head against his shoulder. Heero's lips touched her hair. His hands were at her lower back. Sidney kept her arms at his upper back, and her hands around the back of his neck. She felt safe, and he was calm for the first time in his life.  
  
Heero pulled back for a little bit. Sidney looked up him. Heero took his left hand and tilted her chin up, and leaned forward. Sidney met him halfway and kissed him first. It was a soft tender kiss. One that sealed their promise to each other. Heero reluctantly pull away from her lips. He looked into her light blue eyes with his Prussian blue eyes. He pressed his forehead against hers. He let out a happy sigh. Sidney was breathing calmly. Heero pulled her back into his arms. Her arms were tucked, and her palms were against his chest. Heero rested his chin on her head. It was now a firmer embrace.   
  
Heero held her like he was never going to let her go.   
  
Sidney let out a happy sigh. It was a sigh that was letting go of the pain in the past, and to welcome the future. Both had found the missing part of their souls.   
  
Relena had won on her own terms.   
  
She would never regret letting Heero back into her life. Ever.   
  
Author's Note: This is it, folks. The End. I did nothing short of saying: "And they lived happily ever after." Oh, wait, I just did. There is no epilogue planned, then again there was no prologue to begin with. I feel there is no need for one. I wanted to end it as simple as it began. I hope that Heero wasn't too much out of character. But, somehow, I can imagine him doing all that.   
  
Confession Time: I had this ending written out for the last week. That's right. I knew how the voting would go. Don't hurt me. I just thought you people had the right to have a say. I knew how it was going to end since Part 15. I just wanted to make the story as interesting as possible.  
  
I don't have a sequel currently planned. I won't say that I won't do one, but I may not. But, I don't want to say never.  
  
For my next fics, I am planning for Fushigi Yuugi and Kodomo. I don't know when I'll have any of that up. So, for you Gundam Wing readers, I'll take a break.   
  
Thanks to all those who reviewed. It meant a lot to me. Any review is a GOOD review. It adds to my review numbers, which makes me happy.  
  



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